No growth, no passion throughout college

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Ever since graduating I have realized that my life is nothing like I want it to be. I honestly regret most of my decisions I made throughout college. I had no focus, should have worked harder, and now put myself in a very difficult situation for future employment. With this said, I graduated from a top tier school (my dream school) and thought when I graduated that those were such great years—I made such great friends, learned, etc. But as I distance myself from commencement, I care less that I keep in touch and realize that I learned very little. </p>

<p>I have little skills, a very mediocre G.P.A., did pointless internships, and feel like I have grown very little as a human being. Some of this was just that I was stupid and ignorant, but most of it is on me. Now I am sitting here, four years and $200,000 dollars later and have very little to show. Moreover, I still have no passion, no focus, no drive, and no direction. I was a much more capable person when I was in high school. </p>

<p>I like to explain my esoteric degree by talking about how I grew, the broader skills I acquired, etc. All lies to help rationalize my decisions. Unemployment is nothing unique, but I feel so different because I don’t even have an ideal situation. Most of my classmates have some idea, something that gets them up in the morning. I don’t know if I ever have had that. </p>

<p>Reading this over, I do not mean to send melodramatic, but most of what I have said is true and I can’t help wish that I had done things very differently. This is not just about not having a job in this moment—it is more the realization that everything in my life I have “done” was just something that did have value—value that I could cross it off the list. </p>

<p>It just makes me sad and bitter to see folks going off to school, when I wasted four, formative years of my life. Years when I should have been growing, that I will never, ever have back.</p>

2

<p>I oftentimes feel like my college experience was not what it should have been, but all I can say is that the first step is to just accept that the past is past. Dwelling on it will just cause you to become angry, upset, sad, or bitter. Learning doesn’t end with college, as corny as it sounds – it’s a lifelong thing, and there’s nothing stopping you from developing passions and intellectual curiosity to keep yourself motivated. It’s pretty much the only thing that kept me going through bleaker times.</p>

<p>Yeah, things could have been different, but you did learn valuable things about yourself through college, even if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. See that as a positive asset and focus on what you <em>can</em> change going forward.</p>

3

<p>There are times in my life when I personally regretted going to school so close to home. As a commuter student, I have little school pride and even fewer friends. While I lingered in limbo with nothing but my good GPA (basically all I did was go to class), I saw my old high school friends grow and thrive at their respective universities via their posts on Facebook.</p>

<p>I envied them. I never had the opportunity to party or go wild, or just drop the staid outlook on life even once. </p>

<p>Sometimes, I spend many nights frustrated, wishing that I had applied to at least one out of state school. But, alas! I was afraid, and never did. </p>

<p>College could have been so much more, had I dared. Sometimes, I ponder about transferring, but usually turn against it. </p>

<p>Honestly, I would just evaluate the options available, if I were you, and learn from prior mistakes. You still have a life ahead of you. Make the most of it, even if you are in unfortunate circumstances.</p>

4

<p>What do you want to do about your situation? Is your degree relevant to anything, or are you one of those trust fund chums who majored in aboriginal basket weaving studies? If the latter sounds like you, there might not be a lot of hope for a career in something relevant in the current economy. </p>

<p>If you actually are a smart person with the capacity for hard work, you can make a good living in the time being doing almost anything. In my year after high school - before I went to college - I worked as a phone basher at a market research agency, but I quickly got promoted to a managerial position because I worked hard and was very proactive. I now have a great leg up in experience over many idealistic college students who expect high paying, low intensity jobs right after college. </p>

<p>If I were you, I would get a job in something that demands a lot of physical labor, like construction. It is far more satisfying work than white collar stuff if you are looking to make some money while going through a soul-seeking phase. I would have done that, but there were no construction jobs in my area. </p>

<p>Anyway, you can commiserate some more with these melodramatic folks here some more if that was your intent, or you can rise above the tide and get on with your life. Tough times call for strong people. So:</p>

<p>1) Look for a job in almost anything. Can’t be picky. Part time physical labor would be ideal. If you’re unhappy now, the droll of clerical stuff would probably make you more unhappy.
2) Use this time to define your aspirations and decide what exactly you want to do and how you can get it done.
3) When you have your head on straight, attack. If this means finding the esoteric occupation for your esoteric degree, then very well. If this means that you decided that your degree is sort of useless, find something generic that requires a college degree and make the best of it.</p>

<p>Get your head out of the should haves and would haves. Have at it.</p>

5

<p>Don’t worry, you’re not the first and not the last who feels disillusioned by the college scam. There’s an article out there (cant find it) about how corporations got together in the early 2000’s to start propagandizing to middle class families about how necessary a college education is. It’s not. You learn lots more in the library, or even in gasp real world. In the end a college degree is a piece of paper. Pull yourself together and find something you want to do.</p>

6

<p>Thanks for the responses.
Yes, I think some sort of manual labor would be best. I mean, I am used to doing that sort of work. This is the first time I haven’t had a job since I was like 13.<br>
But I think just decompressing and trying to earn some cash now would be best.</p>

7

<p>If I were you, I’d just try to pay down that debt. Or, take a vacation and be a bum for a time while you wonder about what to do. </p>

<p>Even negative experiences can become positive ones in retrospect - important thing is to learn from them, and adapt these lessons to your current situation.</p>

8

<p>I hate to say it so bluntly, but if you are $200K in the hole, there is no way under the sun you will be able to repay that. You’re done for.</p>