<p>I'm a junior and I was looking at some of the colleges on my list admissions' policies and saw they need a PROFILE Non Custodial Parent form. I have never met, spoken, or seen my father, don't know his name, and only know that he lives somewhere in New Jersey while my mother and I live in South Carolina. She's told me that she left him before I was born because he was abusive and she hasn't asked for any kind of child support from him because she never wants him to know where we live, so we have no contact with him WHATSOEVER. Never in my entire life. And I'm not sure about the "professional outside the family" part? We only recently moved to South Carolina, so nobody here really knows us yet. Would that hurt my chances of getting a waiver? Do you think I would be forced to contact him anyway because there isn't a restraining order against him? Any help would be extremely appreciated, my mother and I are really concerned.</p>
<p>is your dad’s name on your birth cert?</p>
<p>Was your mom ever married to him?</p>
<p>Were there any police records for the abuse? </p>
<p>I don’t know if your mom can prove that she never rec’d any support for you. </p>
<p>You need to ask for those waivers as soon as you can at the beginning of the app season next year to know whether those schools will work out for you.</p>
<p>In the meantime, you’ll also need to find schools that will be affordable that do NOT require your father’s info.</p>
<p>You and your mom can make your guidance counselor aware of the situation over the coming months and if you belong to a church, a clergy person, or a family physician. They can write statements for you. While proof of abuse or lack of support would smooth the way, it’s not necessarily required. Schools will vary in what they require and how they make their decision but there have been a number of posts on this forum from single moms that have gone through the waiver process and it’s not always draconian.</p>
<p>No, his name isn’t on my birth certificate and they were never married. There’s no records of the abuse.</p>
<p>Maybe there is a professional who knew your family where you lived before you moved to South Carolina who could help. Your situation sounds like “textbook” for receiving a waiver to me.</p>
<p>I think the fact that his name isn’t on your birth cert is significant. I would think that is almost enough.</p>
<p>Everything you fill out will be fine, don’t know him, no contact with him ever, no knowledge of whereabouts. But surely you have someone from where you moved from who is aware of this to confirm it?</p>
<p>This is something that you have to discuss with each school that will have its own requirements as to what you need to provide in order to get the Waiver. Your school counselor or minister or other third party will need to send a statement as well, so to get your GC at school prepared for this is a good idea. Chances are good that the GC will be familiar with the process as this happens a lot. But it is something you do have to request from each college.</p>
<p>I mean, people from where we used to live could talk about the complete absence of my father, yes. But my mother never really shared the details of why my father wasn’t in the picture with anyone.</p>
<p>I don’t think the person who vouches for the fact that your father has never been in your life needs to know the reason.</p>
<p>^^
I agree. These people don’t need to know the reason. They just need to state that he hasn’t been in your life.</p>
<p>Without his name on the birth cert, that really backs up the fact that he has never been in your life.</p>
<p>Thank you all sooooo much for all your help!</p>
<p>Hi, I had the same concerns for my son when he applied to college. We did not know where his father lived and I wanted to leave well enough alone. We completed the form, but wrote “unknown” in the fields where we couldn’t provide answers. </p>
<p>I asked a priest to write a letter for my son to request a waiver. He explained how long he knew him, in what capacity, and confirmed that I raised my son on my own. If you can find someone who knows you well (not sure it matters if the person is from S.C.), that might help.</p>
<p>The process was nervewracking because I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, but the schools were surprisingly accepting. We only heard from one school (out of a dozen) who held up the financial aid pending more information. It took one phone call to answer their questions and they sent us a fin. aid package afterwards.</p>