Non-Custodial Parent walked out on our family 15 years ago?

Hi guys,
I was doing my CSS and I got to the section about the NCP and I have a question.

My biological parents were Russian immigrants (I am technically an immigrant as well, although naturalized). When I was 6 years old, my father decided that making it in America was just too hard, so with his parents blessing, he walked out of our lives, got on a plane and went back to Russia. I have not spoken to him since that day. My mother also has not spoken to him since they got divorced maybe a year or so later. We do not know where he is. As a matter of fact, we do not even know if he’s alive. I answered all of the NCP questions with “unknown” will that be enough? Should I be prepared for financial aid offices pestering me with invasive questions? I just want to make sure I gather any/all information I might potentially need.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Well, if by “pestering me with invasive questions” you mean “making sure that my biological father really isn’t able to contribute to my education costs, before I get handed free money,” then I think the answer is probably “yes.”

What kind of things are they going to ask for? Once the divorce was finalized there was been zero contact. No child support paid. I don’t think I’d have anything to provide besides the divorce papers.

You should contact colleges that require the CSS Profile and ask what you need to do. You generally need a waiver to skip the NCP or any non-custodial parent paperwork. You sound like you have a good shot at getting waivers from most schools, but you need to get started on that process quickly.

You will have to apply for a NCP waiver for schools using the Profile or otherwise requiring for NCP info. Your school counselor should be able to help you. If your dad has not been here since you were six, there would be NO records or info about him on your your school records. Right?

The counselor should be able to write a statement clearly saying that your dad has never acted as a parent in terms of school. No records sent. No report cards sent. Nothing.

Do you have anyone else who can support this? Family physician? Clergyman?

You graduated from high school in 2011 (from your previous post):

Graduated high school in 2011 with a 2.35 UW GPA, enrolled in community college immediately but was mentally unprepared for school and eventually dropped out with a 1.105 GPA in 2012. I took a hiatus until 2015, where I re-enrolled and have managed to bring my GPA up to a 3.706 in just a year. I’ve got 34 semester units completed, and will finish 7 more at the end of this semester. I also work full-time in accounting, and worked as a day-time warehouse supervisor before that. In high school I played varsity volleyball, tennis, and was in a grammy award-winning choir

Are you old enough to be considered independent? If so, I believe that your family’s income, including NCP, is not taken into consideration.

Geez…if you were 18 in 2011, you will be 24 soon? Right?

I believe this would make you independent for financial aid purposes for,the FAFSA.

BUT…schools requiring the Profile MIGHT still want either NCP waiver info…or the info from your NCP.

@scholardad I appreciate the thorough research. Unfortunately, I am only 22 (23 on Feb 19) so next year I will be able to file as independent, but this year I am not. Frustrating since I’ve got independent tax returns back a few years. I actually skipped a grade - and that’s why I’m a bit younger than I should be.

@intparent @thumper1 thank you for the info, the CSS did not make it very clear that I’d need to pursue a waiver, I figured that the school would contact me if they deemed it necessary but I see that perhaps it is not that way.

The issue is that when this happened at age 6, we lived in San Diego, since then, we’ve moved numerous times, I’ve attended half a dozen different schools, and my mother got remarried (joint return with stepdad, I have access to all the information).

I suppose back then my mother used to drag me to church, and she still knows the pastor so I imagine he knows the situation and perhaps he could provide a statement.

Keep in mind that your being independent for FEderal Aid (FAFSA) does not necessarily make you independent at profile schools. Many have policies in place where you are not independent Until you are at least 26

I can’t edit - but also @thumper1 I imagine you’d be correct. Pretty much all communication always went to my mother. First because she was a single mom, but then it continued because my stepdad didn’t take much interest in my schooling besides lecturing me for getting anything besides a 4.0 lol.

Well I’ve emailed all the colleges on my list to tell me what to do. Some don’t even list the forms online on their financial aid websites. I hope this isn’t going to be a problem :(.

As long as you provide the information requested by each school, I would think it will not be an issue. The vast majority of financial aid offices are understanding of situations like yours — they just need to make sure they get documentation, because if they don’t, there are likely to be students who say dad is gone when they really can find him. If you just trust people to be honest, it can bite you in the rear!

I sent each college my DD was applying to an email asking what procedures/forms were needed to obtain a waiver. Each responded within a few days. Some schools require a form be filled out along with letters from counselors, clergy, family friends, etc. and any legal papers (non-contact orders, etc.). Some just require the letters and no form. Some ask for a letter of explanation from either the student or parent. Each school has a different procedure. I emailed some, faxed some, uploaded some, mailed some. One school required a third party letter be notarized. Basically each school has its own procedure so check with each one and do what they ask. The CSS doesn’t tell you to file for a waiver, but if you put you have a non-custodial parent and the NCP information is not provided, they will not process you for institutional aid without the waiver.

Unfortunately our old clergyman does not remember anything about the issue, and our family was very private - so we did not really share information with counselors, we didn’t have therapists, so my last hope is that my high school vice principal is willing to write about that issue. The divorce took place in Russia as well so the divorce papers are in Russian and the attorney was in Moscow. It’s almost like I could just tell the schools my mother was a single mother and they wouldn’t know the difference - but I suppose there’s always a chance they could find out and then I’d be a liar.

You would be a liar whether they found out or not.

IF there is nothing on your school record, I know that I would not be putting my license on the line to write a letter unless I absolutely knew what the situation was (especially since you have been out of the school for about 3 to 4 years). Your vice principal is not only putting his/her integrity on the line, but the reputation of your entire school on the line.

You will have to get the divorce papers officially translated to english by a translation service.

Even if your mother is a single mother, you were not born due to an immaculate conception; they will still require information from your non-custodial parent, whether or not they were married.

If you get caught in the lie, your admissions would be rescinded, you will have to repay all of the funds that you fraudulently received and you would not get any future aid

Well yes but I wouldn’t be lying about the fact he did not support me. I haven’t spoken with him since 2001. But that fact notwithstanding, I don’t want to have an offer of admission rescinded.

And yes @sybbie719

It’s just endlessly frustrating because I don’t really know how else to prove that he wasn’t in my life, I’m not as experienced with this sort of thing. I’m hoping to meet with my ex-vice-principal this weekend, maybe she will be able to help.

Actually it didn’t seem like the divorce papers were necessary unless they had any sort of specific provisions about child support, or lack there-of, or perhaps some kind of restraining order. Seemed like just plain ole’ divorce papers don’t prove anything since hypothetically he should be in the picture unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Lol @sybbie719 you keep editing so I have to keep editing my responses

She has actually since moved on to a new school so I don’t think she’d be too worried about that aspect. I understand in a sense she’s risking her reputation but at the same time we ARE telling the truth. My mother could probably show a tax return from every year going back to then, proving that there was never any outside source of income. However, I’m pretty sure she would find that too invasive and refuse.

And what do you mean “nothing on the school record”? How would that even be noted on a school record?

Old tax returns aren’t going to prove that there was never any outside source of income.

Why not? Because it could have been cash under the table?

At the end of the day, if all these schools decide that my CSS is incomplete because of this issue, does that mean I am not allowed to be accepted? Or does it just mean they will not be likely to give me much need-based aid?