Non-traditional single parent student... I need help!

Parents Forum
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<p>Hello all. Hopefully you all can help me. I know this is long but I really need some help! I am pretty well versed on selecting schools based on financial aid variables, but it's choosing a school that is right for me that I am having a lot of trouble with. I'm not worried about my stats or chances or whatever because I'm too far from the finish line to really know what my transfer GPA will be, and I never took any HS aptitude tests or anything. I'm a working adult and many years have passed since I got my diploma, so my transfer application will be evaluated differently anyway. I'll give you my background, and hopefully you all can help me. I feel sort of overwhelmed.</p>

<p>I am a 25 (26 in March) y.o. single mother of a 3 year old. I'm currently working on my A.S. in Paralegal Studies and my Associate of Arts degree. I am beginning my search early because I like to have an idea of the direction of my goals, as well as because between work, full-time school, and my son, I need all the time I can get to make sure I make the best decision.</p>

<p>I live in Florida currently, and I despise it here, absolutely detest it, and I'm determined to move up north, closer to my family and where my kind-a weather's at. I'm attending a respected-for-the-Southern-region community college. The states I'm looking in are CT, DC, MA, MD, NY, PA, and VA. What I am looking for is a smaller school (well, I'm accustomed to UF, so really anything less than like, 30,000 students is pretty small for me... UF has about 45,000), but most preferably a liberal arts college or private college that will allow me to develop a close relationship with my professors. A large(r) population is all right as long as my professors are accessible to me. </p>

<p>I understand that at many of these schools, there is not a large sized (or any) peer group for people my age, and that's okay with me. I am more concerned about getting the most for my money and an awesome education, the best I can possibly get. Greek life is totally not my scene, and I'd prefer not to attend a school where there is a lot of partying and such, but that's a plus and not a deal-breaker. Other pluses are good public schools in the area for my son, who will be in elementary school by that time, and safe and quiet surroundings with nature/outdoor-based activities for us to participate in together. Lower costs of living are in-between mandatory and important, as I am a single mom, but if the school is in an expensive area with public transportation that allows me to commute in from a lower-cost-of-living area, that's totally fine (I know Boston is supposed to be crazy-expensive). Schools with part-time options are great but not mandatory. I am not cutthroat or competitive in any way and would prefer an environment where my classmates are supportive and helpful, not ripping pages out of my textbooks or trying to sabotage a research project... that would make me really anxious and stressed. I'm just smart, and driven, and want to make the most of my abilities, not prove how much better I am than everyone else.</p>

<p>I'd like to major in Public Health, Health Science, Allied Health, Human Bio/Bioethics, or some other program with similar focus (NOT Health Administration - I want a strong bio and or chem/pharm core with <em>exploration</em> in the other aspects of health care, such as ethics, economics, law and policy, etc). I am also looking at schools that offer a Student-Designed Major program. It is important that I am not pushed aside or put on the back burner just because I am not a grad student or the professors are too busy with their own research to really put much effort into their teaching. If it matters, my end goal is to get into a top 50 law school and get a dual JD/MPH degree. I'm not really sure how to tell what the quality of undergrad health/science departments are or how these schools will fit with the aforementioned criteria. These are the schools I have looked into thus far, and so if anyone could help me out, or suggest others (and why) I would be most appreciative. Sorry that this is so long, but I really need the help because my education is a huge investment and life-changing experience for not only me, but my son as well.</p>

<p>U Virginia
College of William and Mary
U of Richmond
James Madison U
Swarthmore College
Villanova U
Dickinson College
George Washington U
American U
Johns Hopkins U
U Connecticut
Connecticut College
Boston U
Mt. Holyoke College
Skidmore College
Cornell
NYU (not sure how I feel about NYC... will most likely abandon this one)
Syracuse U
Ithaca College
Rensselaer Polytechnic
U Rochester
Hobart & William Smith Colleges
Union College
UMass - Amherst
Northeastern U
Tufts U
Brandeis U</p>

<p>My "absolute" safeties are in-state schools that I have no doubt I could be accepted into: UF, Stetson University, and U of South Florida... if, god forbid, no decent out-of-state college will have me.</p>

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<p>You have Mt Holyoke - you should add Smith, specifically their Ada Comstock program:</p>

<p>[Smith</a> College: For Nontraditional Students: Home](<a href=“http://www.smith.edu/admission/ada.php]Smith”>Ada Comstock Scholar Applicants | Smith College)</p>

<p>Northampton would be a great place in which to raise your son, and I think you would feel very comfortable there.</p>

<p>Wellesley also has a similar program, Davis Scholars:</p>

<p>[Davis</a> Degree Program | Wellesley College](<a href=“http://www.wellesley.edu/academics/theacademicprogram/davis]Davis”>Davis Degree Program | Wellesley College)</p>

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<p>Some questions to try to narrow things down a bit. Do you have family in a particular state that could be close enough to help with your son with childcare/ after school care? Would you consider moving to a state and establishing residency to get in-state tuition or would you view that as a “wasted year” (If you have to live in a state for 1 year without using the state schools to establish residency for purposes of qualifying for instate tuition). I did read your entire post, but I missed or glossed over the part about how you would pay for some of the expensive private schools on your list. Are you planning on working while going to school and taking care of your son? That’s a tough assignment without some serious help/support even as motivated as you are! Best of luck to you.</p>

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<p>Another approach is to work backwards. You have an end goal, JD/MPH, which helps a lot. I would look at some of those programs now (for example, UNC-CH because I believe it has such a program). See where their students came from and what they studied. Yes, I know the students may come from all over the place but something may strike you. As it is, you have quite the list and this approach may focus it a bit.</p>

<p>I agree that you may want to take into account where your family is. Even if they can’t provide the day-to-day child care, just having family around for emergency purposes helps a lot.</p>

<p>The other thing to look at is whether there are child-care services on campus and the costs to the student-parent. Some universities (those with child development programs) have such services; I don’t know if the small LAC would have that. If the small LAC is in a small town, then child care may be even more limited. </p>

<p>I would eliminate NYC schools just because it’s so expensive to live there and it sounds like your son will be school-aged by the time you graduate. You don’t need that set of headaches dealing with NYC public schools.</p>

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<p>I think your GPA and other factors from where you are will matter when picking the enxt school, but if you are considering state schools, ypu might want to consider figuring which state looks really good to you and movng there to establish residency.
RPI is a great school, but doesn’t sound right for what you are looking for. JHU sounds right, but is very expensive and very hard to get into. Tose are the only two I know enough about to comment.</p>

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<p>Another note about small LACs - if lots of them are similar to ones I’m familiar with, then course selection is pretty narrow, especially in terms of times classes are offered. At D’s, all classes are over by 3:30 or 4 - no night sections. As a non-traditional student with a child you might need the multiple sections/times that a bigger school offers.</p>

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<p>Maybe take a look at [Trinity</a> Washington University](<a href=“http://www.trinitydc.edu/]Trinity”>http://www.trinitydc.edu/) ?</p>

<p>There was a feature article on the president of Trinity in DC not long ago. They make it their mission to cater to non-traditional students.</p>

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<p>Have you considered Harvard Extension</p>

<p>extension.harvard.edu</p>

<p>It’s designed for people like you and is of very high quality.</p>

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<p>You’ve got Swarthmore and Villanova on your list, so I assume that Philadelphia isn’t out of the question. You should look at Bryn Mawr–it has a program similar to those mentioned above–McBride Scholars. It’s specifically for non-traditional, women students.</p>

<p>[McBride</a> Scholars | Admissions | Bryn Mawr College](<a href=“http://www.brynmawr.edu/admissions/criteria/mcbride.html/]McBride”>http://www.brynmawr.edu/admissions/criteria/mcbride.html/)</p>

<p>Question: How do you plan to fund the rest of your education? Many of the schools (especially the small LACs–Swarthmore, Dickenson, Connecticut College, Mt. Holyoke, Skidmore) on your list are in the $40K and over range. Will you need financial aid?</p>

<p>Also, you should consider cost of living–Tufts and Brandeis are in the Boston suburbs and BU is in the city. The Boston area is not a low-cost of living area–I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing the cost of living in Florida is much lower. DC is similar to Boston, it’s not a cheap place to live.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Women’s Colleges have special programs for adult women (often with children.) Beside the programs named above, there are:
[Nontraditional</a> Students | Wellesley College](<a href=“http://www.wellesley.edu/admission/esp/nontraditional]Nontraditional”>http://www.wellesley.edu/admission/esp/nontraditional)
[McBride</a> Scholars | Admissions | Bryn Mawr College](<a href=“http://www.brynmawr.edu/admissions/criteria/mcbride.html]McBride”>http://www.brynmawr.edu/admissions/criteria/mcbride.html)</p>

<p>These schools can take you anywhere and they have excellent financial aid. :)</p>

<p>Less selective (since you don’t know your GPA yet)
[Dix</a> Scholars Program for Adult Students : Adult Students : Undergraduate Academics : Simmons College - Boston, Massachusetts](<a href=“http://www.simmons.edu/undergraduate/adult/]Dix”>http://www.simmons.edu/undergraduate/adult/)</p>

<p>ETA: Bromfield beat me to it!</p>

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<p>Lesley University in Cambridge has a very flexible adult learner/degree completion program. You can design your own program, do independent studies, take weekend classes, a variety of options. They have a lot of classes in the holistic health/psychology areas.</p>

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<p>Muhlenberg College in Allentown, PA.</p>

<p>They have a very strong pre-med program, and it’s reflected in their science classes. Allentown has a very reasonable cost-of-living, especially compared to some places like Boston and NYC. There is a Greek life, but it’s relatively small and inconspicuous. </p>

<p>Muhlenberg is also SAT optional. Professors are VERY accessible. D2 tells a story of being in one of her classes freshman year (I think it was an honor’s seminar so it was small) - class was about to start one morning and one of the students was missing. The professor looked at one of the other students who he knew to be friends with the missing student, and said, “Would you please give so-and-so a call and ask her if she’ll be joining us today?”</p>

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<p>You may want to check into this college. It is part of Queens University of Charlotte. If you like what you see, give admissions a call.</p>

<p>[About</a> Hayworth College](<a href=“Majors, Minors and Programs | Queens University of Charlotte”>Majors, Minors and Programs | Queens University of Charlotte)</p>

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<p>Oh my goodness, I forgot to subscribe to this thread!! Thank you for all the replies… Now to answer them:</p>

<p>Childcare: Yes, my son should be in elementary school by then. Right now, he is developmentally delayed but has not been formally diagnosed, so I am not sure if he will need special services over the long term. If this is the case, then the public school system of the area in which the college is located will be of the most significance to me. His education and comfort is a bajillion times more important than mine. Right now, child and afterschool care is something I will worry about when I am closer to finishing my degree. Right now I am just looking at which schools I should focus on getting into and learning the ins and outs of their adult/part time programs and admissions and financial aid, etc.</p>

<p>Finances: I am hoping to work part-time, 20 - 30 hrs… perhaps T-R-F or M-W-F and take classes on the off days. It is what I am doing right now (but I’m making $8/hr right now, sharing a rented bedroom, which is why I’m getting my AS in paralegal studies…) and I am really used to living frugally… and by frugally I mean separating the plys of toilet paper to make it last longer. I did pretty much knock NYC right off of my list. I have absolutely no interest in living in the city, and commuting from CT, which is what I would do, is a huge pain in the behind. I used to live there, and so I know from when my dad woke up at 4 AM every day!!! </p>

<p>As for paying for school, this is where I am unsure of things: I am destitute. I have no assets. No car, no home, no bonds, or stocks… I have about $2,000 in savings, which is for a car, and a laptop, and a cell phone. Those are the only items of value that I have. My EFC is zero. I am dependent on having most of my need met in order to attend. If I have to take out a minimal loan to contribute, I don’t mind graduating after 2 years with <em>some</em> debt… as I know that it will eventually pay off in the end (not that I’m expecting to be Ms. Hotshot Attorney, but again, I’m great at living frugally with what I’ve got; if I make paying my debt my first priority I’ll have it paid off in a reasonable amount of time). Financial aid is such a confusing and gray area… 100% need schools often don’t meet 100% need in reality, or they take need into consideration during admissions, or don’t meet 100% need of part-time students, or, or, or. At the same time, public schools often give less aid to out of state students because they are obligated to the in-state ones. I am unsure about merit aid, as well, because I will be part time, and even though I can bring my GPA up as high as a 3.85, I still have one F on my record from when I was 18 and young and stupid. UVa flat out states that merit aid for transfers is “rare,” so I can only imagine it is not available to students returning to school.
I have been considering moving to establish residency… Virginia seems like a smart choice, as the family I am closest to lives in Charlottesville, but in actuality all the schools I want to attend are in Massachusetts. But, then again, they are all private, so I suppose that it doesn’t really matter. If I was to go to W&M or UVa (my top choices in VA) then it would most certainly matter. I am still considering moving; I haven’t ruled it out yet. The only thing is I know UVa is pretty big (I don’t remember about W&M). I also would like to attend UVa for law school.</p>

<p>SlackerMom: How do I find out this information? That seems like a superb idea. I didn’t even know they made that kind of information available. I am limited in the law schools I want to attend, due to the relative scarcity of JD/MPH programs, and that could be a great way to narrow down my options.</p>

<p>As far as Smith and Bryn Mawr, I have indeed looked at them, but I’m really busy right now with two tests and an essay due this week, so I haven’t been able to look into them in detail. All of the great advice I’ve received on this site has helped me narrow down my choices and add a few more. </p>

<p>ClassicRockerDad: RIP Lou Reed!!! :frowning: Anyway, I can’t even entertain the notion of getting into Harvard. That’s like… ahahahaha… laughable. I don’t know. It seems totally unattainable. I have an F on my record. And… it’s Harvard. Am I being too hard on myself? It’s like trying to get into the golden gates of heaven… that’s what the doors of Harvard look like in my mind.</p>

<p>Teriwtt: I have looked at Muhlenberg, but it doesn’t seem to have a part-time program. I searched all through their site, catalog, bursar’s office, etc. Do you know of one?</p>

<p>So, I’ve narrowed down my schools a bit, and they are now:</p>

<p>U Virginia
William & Mary
Connecticut College
Mt. Holyoke
Smith
Wellesley
Tufts
Northeastern
UMass - Amherst
James Madison U
Syracuse U
Cornell (I know they accept non-traditional students, but do they have a part-time program?)
UConn
Bryn Mawr
Lehigh
Dickinson (I think… my notes are at home)
Muhlenberg, perhaps
Harvard… perhaps…
UF & Stetson as safeties.</p>

<p>I haven’t had any time to check out the other recommendations you all have made!! (Thank you, by the way.)</p>

<p>Things that will narrow it down even further are that I will probably eliminate the Boston ones. How do I figure out which ones have good science/bio programs? Plus, just because they have a program doesn’t mean that the adult students are eligible for non-loan financial aid. I don’t mind taking out a loan to cover whatever my portion of contribution is supposed to be (again, I can’t imagine it would be much… I am the very definition of broke), but not to cover my entire education. No way. Another is the respectability of their part time programs - I want to be taught by the same faculty and I don’t want my degree to be “discounted” or considered a “back-door” degree. The women’s colleges sound most appealing, mainly because they seem much more understanding of a mother’s needs… but there are some other schools I’d love to go too, too, like UVa. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for all of the replies! I really need all the help I can get!</p>

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<p>MrsBlaileen, Harvard Extension is open to anyone who wants to enroll.</p>

<p>However, the course selection is quite limited, especially for someone who has already done two years elsewhere, and I would doubt that they would offer much in financial aid (as it is more of an evening program for working adult students).</p>

<p>The programs at Mt. Holyoke, Smith, Wellesley and Bryn Mawr would all have plenty of experience with applicants such as yourself, and would quite possibly offer enough financial aid for you to live on it. Definitely worth investigating.</p>

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</p>

<p>Sorry, I must have missed that in your original post. I was just about to answer that I wasn’t familiar with whether they had a part-time program or not (D2 has been out for two years now), but an image keeps popping up in my mind that I read somewhere on campus that they do offer some sort of program for non-traditional students. You might want to email them or call them if you can’t find it on their website before ruling them out.</p>

<p>Because you were talking about a strong bio/chem/pharm program, I sort of wondered if you weren’t looking for a premed program, which is why I suggested Muhlenberg. However, you now mention you’re thinking about law school. So I wanted to throw in my two cents for Syracuse, as it’s where D1 went. It really fits the bill as far as reasonable cost of living. But about 30% of its students go Greek. It’s still big enough that if you’re not Greek, you’ll find your niche. Mostly what I want you to be aware of (you might already) is their public affairs program, the Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs (if you’re thinking law school). It’s one of the most prestigious in the country, and is the oldest public affairs program in the country. Their graduate school is consistently ranked as the best program in the country.<br>
[Maxwell</a> School](<a href=“http://www.maxwell.syr.edu%5DMaxwell”>http://www.maxwell.syr.edu)</p>

<p>Many students double major with a degree from Maxwell because of its reputation. D1 seriously considered it, but decided against it because, had she, she likely wouldn’t have been able to fit in a semester abroad, which was more of a priority for her. </p>

<p>Living in Syracuse, although relatively inexpensive, is not for the faint of heart. Winters are brutal, although D1 survived unscathed! Coming from Florida, you’d have to decide if you want to deal with it.</p>

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<p>I think you need to change your way of thinking this through.</p>

<p>Can you afford to repeat AT LEAST one year of course work? </p>

<p>Many universities have articulation agreements with local community colleges. This is true not only of public Us, but of private schools as well. Cornell U, for example, has articulation agreements with some NY community colleges. <a href=“http://admissions.cornell.edu/node/458[/url]”>http://admissions.cornell.edu/node/458&lt;/a&gt; These agreements list CC course work which the university will accept for credit for a degree from SOME divisions of Cornell. Usually, not all CC classes will be given transfer credit; however, there is a list of accepted courses and if you stick to it, you’ll be given credit.</p>

<p>Here is a link to those of Borough of Manhattan Community College; as you can see, the list is very specific and varies by major. <a href=“http://www.bmcc.cuny.edu/advisement/page.jsp?pid=1061&n=Articulation%20Agreements[/url]”>http://www.bmcc.cuny.edu/advisement/page.jsp?pid=1061&n=Articulation%20Agreements&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>If there is no articulation agreement, there is no guarantee that your CC course work will be accepted for credit. In choosing which 4 year university you attend, it seems to me your number 1 priority should be getting as much transfer credit as you possibly can for your completed course work.</p>

<p>I have NOT researched the issue AT ALL. However, it seems to be that it is EXTREMELY unlikely that ANY of the liberal arts colleges on your list will give credit for the paralegal courses you have taken. If your reason for taking these courses is to be able to get a better job and you don’t care about course credit, that may not matter. </p>

<p>Most colleges/universities have at least one admissions officer who deals with transfer admissions. I would suggest that you contact the transfer admissions officers at some of the schools of interest to you and ask how much transfer credit you will be given for the courses you have taken/will take at your CC. The answer MAY vary from NONE to credit for almost all. </p>

<p>Don’t let this come as a shock to you when you are ready to move. Otherwise, you may spend a lot of time, effort, and some money talking CC courses which none of the colleges you are interested in will accept for credit.</p>

<p>Frankly, I think you MAY be better off moving ASAP, establishing state residency BEFORE you enroll in CC courses, taking CC courses you know you’ll get credit for and THEN transfer.</p>

<p>It’s just an idea…</p>

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<p>Looks like Muhlenberg may be a good place to contact to ask questions. It has a special program for adult students (which seems to allow part-time study) AND articulation agreements with local community colleges.
[Muhlenberg</a> College Adult Learning/Wescoe School: Prospective Students](<a href=“http://www.muhlenberg.edu/main/wescoe/prospectiveStudents/gettingStarted.html]Muhlenberg”>http://www.muhlenberg.edu/main/wescoe/prospectiveStudents/gettingStarted.html)</p>

<p>I checked the website of one of these CCs. It has articulation agreements with both public and private colleges. I note that Kutztown does give credit for this CC’s paralegal courses. Anyway, this is a good example of why it is important to check out the articulation agreements BEFORE choosing your CC courses.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.lccc.edu/students/current/transfer-services/articulation-agreements-and-transfer-information/articulation-ag-0?destination=node%2F500[/url]”>http://www.lccc.edu/students/current/transfer-services/articulation-agreements-and-transfer-information/articulation-ag-0?destination=node%2F500&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>If you don’t have more than $2K to your name that is already earmarked for a car, and you have a child, unless you get into something like the Comstack program, it’s going to be a very rough go. Like undoable. Hardly any schools guarantees to meet full need for non traditional part time, transfer students. I don’t know any that do even by their own definitions of need. Where are you going to get the money to make the move from where you are ,what are you going to use as seed money? It doesn’t work the way you want it to work. ALso your current field of study is not one conducive to moving into a liberal arts type curriculum. </p>

<p>If your child is important to you, and it seems like there are signs that he may need some extra help, do move closet to friends and family. Somewhere you can plop down and get situated. Find what’s available there. You are likely to still need to borrow the full amounts you can and not get full need met, but if you live with your parents or other relatives, that’s probably $10K a year in savings and priceless support in terms of loved ones caring for your child. </p>

<p>Moving to a whole new locale without knowing anyone is a tough go without kids. Just moved my son into such a situation for his first real job, and met a number of young people who made that move there as a career move, and they are getting living wages and can afford to start making a home in that area, and the company is proactive in helping them with lists of resources there. It’s still a tough go. My son works with a young man whose wife and kids are having a difficult transition. Now mind you, this is with a good wage in the picture and two parents. I was in that situations years ago as a SAHM, and it was not easy. And even more diffiucult for single parents.</p>

<p>BUt you want to go off to a school, that is not going to be giving you a living wage. Some schools may offer apartment style housing, especially if they have a sizeable grad student population, and there might then be resources . But as an undergrad, you won’t be getting stipends as the grad students often are, and as a transfer, non traditional , part time student, you not likely to be getting even close to what you need. Schools don’t fund that way. I know students in your situation trying to do what you are, a number who have posted on these boards, and trying to get college financial aid to pay their way, be their source of income is not going to work unless one is applying to a school or program that has the resources to meet full need, and in your case, it’s the full bill plus some. Everyone would just go off to school and have the education system pay for their living expenses if that were the case. </p>

<p>You can give it a go, but I think you would be far better off finding a place to settle your son with family/friends first. After all, he is your first consideration, right? Then look around and see what resources are around where you can finish your education . If you were my daughter, there are a number of CUNY/SUNY schools, 4 year and state universities within commuting distance, and the in state price is right. The idea that any of the private schools here would give you a tuition free pass is not likely at all, and what you alone can borrow as an independent isn’t going to pay private tuition, much less any living expenses. You will also need to find a part time job at least, and that is going to be as difficult or more than in getting accepted into a school. The school should be the last piece to place into your relocation picture.</p>

20

<p>If you are willing to go full time immediately, check these out:</p>

<p>[8</a> Best Colleges For Single Parents | Bankrate.com](<a href=“http://www.bankrate.com/finance/college-finance/best-colleges-for-single-parents-1.aspx]8”>http://www.bankrate.com/finance/college-finance/best-colleges-for-single-parents-1.aspx)</p>