Non-traditional single parent student... I need help!

Parents Forum
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<p>You are confusing Harvard College and the Harvard Extension School. The former is probably the hardest school in the nation to gain admission. The latter is primarily an evening based program for non traditional students. The admissions requirements involve maintaining a reasonable GPA in 3 of their courses, one of which must be Expository Writing. They pretty much don’t care what happened before. </p>

<p>Look through their website. As I said, it’s very high quality and very low cost. </p>

<p>extension.harvard.edu</p>

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<p>Jonri: I’m very aware that my paralegal classes won’t transfer. I’m getting my AA as well, taking a traditional liberal arts curriculum: Intro to Statistics, Intro to Psych, Bio I & II, English Composition I & II, and so on. I’ll complete my A.A. about one year after my A.S. The paralegal degree is so that I have a little more earning power. $8-9/hr is not enough to live on no matter what state you are in, and that’s about all I merit. I need to at least work while I finish my A.A., if only to save up some money. My current situation does not allow me to move. I have a gigantic support system down here and I need to have a car and Connor needs to be a little older before I can downsize that support. He’ll be three in November and I most likely won’t be making a decision and enrolling until 2016… he’ll be almost six. Also, choosing where I am going to move really depends on Connor. The vast majority of schools on my list are in New England, but I have the closest family in Virginia. Also, the biggest tuition difference is really at UVa and W&M - W&M has some sort of loan-free or limited loan program for VA residents, and the difference between in-state and out-of-state tuition at UVa is like $26,000. But, if all turns out well with Connor, I really am liking what I am hearing about Smith and Mount Holyoke and other N.E. schools, so what would be the point of moving 2x? That’s why I’m looking in Virginia… otherwise I’d be focused entirely on the Northeast. (I HATE heat. Florida is torturous. It’s 85-95* with 100% humidity for 9 months of the year. Gross. I’ve seen the wrath of Maine - pretty bad, but if I had to choose, I’d take Maine.)</p>

<p>Cpt: Again, I’m getting a traditional A.A. with most of the distribution and prerequisite requirements met for general education and a biology or health science major. </p>

<p>Like I said, I am waiting to see what kind of special needs my son may have - he is not mentally incapacitated in any way, on the contrary, he’s smart as a whip, a jokester, and very opinionated. He is quite advanced in other areas. He has very delayed speech and is easily overstimulated. It’s not like he is at the far end of the autism spectrum or the like (and my expectations for my future would not be so lofty if that was the case). Of course, any single parent needs a support system. Should Connor require continued therapy and does not catch up with the rest of his peers, then I will take that into consideration. Right now, I’m considering ALL of my options. Even if I stayed in-state and went to UF or Stetson, it’s not like my son’s grandmother (my biggest support) can just up and drive three hours to come watch Connor if he is sick or sent home from school for some reason. </p>

<p>I am incredibly clueless about financial aid, because it such an unknown for anyone applying to any school, pretty much. However, I really, really take offense that you assume that I am just looking for an easy ride through school and that everyone would just do what I’m doing. I am working my ass off, getting straight A’s, taking honors classes (chem & bio & pre-calc & plane trig), I will join Phi Theta Kappa at the end of this semester, networking with alumni, applying for scholarships, all while raising a toddler and trying to find the money to not get kicked out of my bedroom (pathetic) every month. I’m not expecting anything to be HANDED to me. I am stretching myself as thin as I possibly can without having a nervous breakdown to achieve my goals and be the best mother I can be. So. Yeah.</p>

<p>I know nothing about any of these part time programs or financial aid associated with them. The programs are barely promoted; one has to enter search terms into the adobe .pdf of the catalog to even find them sometimes. Do I want to work while I go to school? Absolutely not. But I realize that I may have to. If going full time and taking a full 12 credits is what I have to do to get any financial aid, then that is what I will do if it ends up benefiting me more in the long run. Once I have my paralegal degree, I can offer contract legal services to attorneys and choose my work load and work on my own schedule if need be. I’m not getting my A.S. just because I feel like throwing away a couple semesters of Pell Grant money. I’m trying to pave my way for the future. I don’t know if full time or part-time study would benefit me more, which is why I’m on here in the first place asking for information and advice. Please do not be so patronizing. Perhaps that wasn’t the tone that you meant to convey, but as I’m sure you know, a lot is lost in translation over the internet. Oh, and, if my non-traditional age is a factor in the school giving me financial aid, then I don’t want to go there anyway, as it obviously is not welcoming to those who have different life paths and experiences.</p>

<p>I am beginning my search three years before I will actually have the opportunity to enroll anywhere - I’m not taking any factors lightly and I am weighing all of my options with the utmost care so I can make the best decision for both myself and my son.</p>

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<p>P.S. - Jonri: Thank you for that link. I’m adding Endicott and Misericordia to my list of schools to research. It’s quite the list by now :P</p>

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<p>Oh, and can anyone tell me the reputations of the bio/health sci/pub health departments of any of these schools? If one is like, super famous for a great undergrad business program but has questionable sciences, then I’d want to look elsewhere.</p>

<p>Also, regarding Syracuse U - At UF, Cappex says that about 18% of males and 15% of females go Greek, and I was thoroughly annoyed by pink-polo shirted beefy frat guys anytime I got within walking distance of campus. I seriously don’t think I could handle an entire third of the population… I could handle the winters. Bring it. </p>

<p>Where are the best places online to look for stats on cost of living, the atmosphere, and the public school system reputations? I’ve done a cursory Google search but I’m not sure what to really make of, say, the city-data.com information.</p>

<p>Thank you so much everyone!</p>

<p>On an unrelated note, this was today’s Doghouse Diaries comic… I found it startlingly relevant: <a href=“DOGHOUSE | Move along...”>DOGHOUSE | Plans;

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<p>mrsblaileen,</p>

<p>You’re still young…so I hope you will let me give you some advice. If it annoys you, I’ll hope you’ll wait at least 48 hours before responding to this post. </p>

<p>Cptofthehouse was trying to help you…REALLY. You may not LIKE her advice, but don’t bawl her out…because if you do…other people will be less likely to answer your questions. Sift through the answers you get and take what you can from them. Don’t tell people whose advice you dislike that they are condescending, etc. For parents, that is a HUGE turn off.</p>

<p>I’ll tell you upfront that I think your chances of achieving your dream of a JD/MPH from BU are less than 1 in 10,000. But people are NOT statistics, so you may be the 1 in 10,000 who will succeed. </p>

<p>I can tell you…because it doesn’t seem to be part of your plan to move to NYC…that I can’t imagine that ANY attorney anywhere in the state of NY would hire you as a paralegal…let alone let you work "your own hours,"etc. Paralegals in NYC tend to fall into two categories. The first is folks who went to top flight schools…Williams College, Columbia U, Brown…are actual examples. Most of them are “thinking” about law school and want some exposure to the field before making a decision. Most of these work for the “top flight” firms in NYC. As far as I know, none of these firms would ever hire anyone who only has an associate’s degree.</p>

<p>Second, the smaller law firm. These firms do hire paralegals, but only out of local programs such as Pace University . If you haven’t been trained in New York State law…they aren’t going to hire you.</p>

<p>I know of NO firm which would let you choose your own hours. Reality is that there are lots of law school grads from the bottom quarter of the class at schools like New York Law School, Pace Law School, St.John’s, Brooklyn Law etc, who. are willing to accept paralegal jobs. Firms will choose them over you.</p>

<p>Granted…it may be different in less competitive areas. Still…I suspect that most attorneys would prefer folks from local schools who have some training in the law of that state. </p>

<p>I am NOT saying this to “rain on your parade.” I’m ONLY saying this because I am skeptical that the AS in paralegal studies you are working towards will be of any use outside the state of Florida. I may be completely off base…but if I were you, I’d check to see how many people who got that AS in paralegal studies were offered out of state jobs without additional training.</p>

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<p>Look at the School of Public Health in Albany, NY. It’s a state capital, has Albany Med Center right there, a decent cost of living and good public schools nearby. Though it is not highly rated, the law school supplies most of the area lawyers. You would have to look into fin aid. IMO, it’s also a nicer city than Syracuse.</p>

<p>Your list is heavy on higher cost-of-living places. Binghamton may be another option for UG, but no local law school.</p>

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<p>I wasn’t “bawling” anyone out. I took offense that it was insinuated that “if it was that easy everyone would do it.” This is not easy. I am working my effing ass off, doing every single thing I possibly can to make myself competitive. And I am doing a pretty good job.</p>

<p>I don’t want to live in NYC. In fact, I said I had absolutely no interest in living there. In pretty much every post, it says I have no interest in living in NYC. Nor do I have any interest in working at some glitzy hot-shot law firm. I’m not interested in law because I want to make a crap ton of money. I want a great education because my intelligence is the only real gift that I have. I’m not good at anything else. I don’t do sports. I don’t do art. I don’t like teaching, in fact, I don’t really like kids at all, except my own. Science and math and law and logic, I can do.</p>

<p>Also, there is a difference between being hired at a law firm and being a contract paralegal. Independent contracting. That is what contract paralegals do. </p>

<p>Furthermore, I am not sure how much you know about law, but most state law, especially procedural law, is based off of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. I have no interest in family or criminal law whatsoever, so those state laws and procedures would only be marginally useful to me anyway. It would take me about a month to familiarize myself with another state’s rules of civil procedure, and any statutory or case law usually has to be researched anyway. </p>

<p>Furtherfurthermore, I am also going to take the two big national paralegal certification exams as soon as possible after I graduate, which is like the bar exam, but for paralegals. It’s the closest thing to a uniform standard that the paralegal profession has as of right now, though the national paralegal associations are working towards standardizing both the education and certification requirements for paralegals to practice, similar to nursing.</p>

<p>If I cannot realistically find a job in NY State, then I won’t move there. It is not high on my lists of states, anyway. VA, MA, CT come first.</p>

<p>I don’t understand why everyone is making me out to be an idiot. I also don’t understand why everyone is so hell bent on telling me that I can’t do this, because I can, and I will.</p>

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<p>mrsbaileen…</p>

<p>Okay…I’ll bow out. For Connor’s sake, I wish you the best…</p>

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<p>For what it’s worth, I’m not saying you’re wrong that it is not realistic for me to find any sort of job at all in NY, but I mean, seriously, who in their right mind would think they could walk into a NYC law firm with a fresh AS degree from Florida and expect to get a job? Who would assume that their vocational paralegal credits would transfer to an out-of-state university or lac that does not have a paralegal program? I am not insane or mentally impaired.</p>

<p>PS. I was not asking for a detailed analysis of the feasibility of my dreams and goals. I was asking for information about schools that might be right for me, their programs, and financial aid and costs of living, and several people helped me with information in a friendly and non-judgmental manner. And some did not.</p>

<p>So if anyone has any information relating to my original questions, instead of how everything I am doing is for naught and the only real thing that I want or goal that I have is completely ludicrous and undoable, I would love to hear it.</p>

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<p>No, you are just young and lack knowledge. </p>

<p>Check this if you won’t listen to me.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://abovethelaw.com/2011/06/pls-hndle-thx-finally-a-degree-more-useless-than-a-j-d/[/url]”>http://abovethelaw.com/2011/06/pls-hndle-thx-finally-a-degree-more-useless-than-a-j-d/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I won’t post again in this thread. Again, for Connor’s sake, I hope all your dreams come true.</p>

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<p>Another vote for checking out Smith and Mt Holyoke. Both have superb support for non-traditional students and are great science schools - particularly bio. Western Mass is less expensive than Boston (although not cheap), very open and comfortable for single parents, and with UMass nearby there is a large group of 20 something students in the Valley. The public schools are solid. Massachusetts public education always ranks top in the nation, with good services for kids that ned some extra help. Not sure about the job potential, but there are generally fewer rules and an openness to different work life balance needs.</p>

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<p>Contact the women’s colleges. Ask about their program for adult women, financial aid availability, work study availability, housing (on campus or in the area), and detail what you’re currently doing vs. what else you should be doing to have a shot at admission to that program.
I honestly think the Women’s colleges are your best shot because they are prestigious (a degree from Bryn Mawr etc. WILL open doors for you) and because they take your unique situation (unique vs. traditional age students, not unique vs. many women who came before you) into consideration. These programs exist for women like you, who are bright and driven and have overcome lots of difficulties.
Public schools tend to be good in college towns. However cost of living tends to be higher too.
Your idea of taking MWF classes and working on TThS, or taking T Th classes and working the other days is excellent.
I hope your AS will allow you to make $11-12/hour in the meanwhile because indeed, $8 an hour isn’t enough to live on. :slight_smile:
The most frequent assumption we see is that out of state applicants will be treated like in state applicants for financial aid. So, if you had been mistaken on those other points, it would have been judged far from being “mentally impaired”. :)</p>

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<p>This article didn’t tell me anything that I don’t already know.</p>

<p>California is the only state that requires a B.A. from paralegals.</p>

<p>I have prior law experience, which is what made me decide to get a degree in the first place, and will have more by the time I move.</p>

<p>My paralegal program doesn’t even teach state law, only federal law, BECAUSE state knowledge is only useful in one state. However, federal law is applicable everywhere and often is the model for state laws. So I “don’t know” Florida’s laws just as much as I “don’t know,” say, New York’s.</p>

<p>I do not want to be a paralegal for the rest of my life… just to get me through school with my electricity and water on. And a car that doesn’t make me hold my breath and pray every time I turn the key in the ignition. I’ve lived my entire adult life just barely making ends meet on minimum wage. Even $11 seems like a dream.</p>

<p>I don’t want to work for Big Law or a prestigious firm or even a corporate firm. In fact, I prefer working for partners or sole proprietors. Very tiny. At the law office I used to work at, the other paralegal and I walked around barefoot and put on our heels only when we were expecting a client, and we had lunch as an office unit every week, the two attorneys, the office manager, and the other paralegal and I. I could bring Connor to work with me (he was witty-bitty) when his sham-of-a-father was too drunk, hungover, or absent to babysit. That is the kind of place where I want to work. I’m not a glitzy, high-powered, cutthroat kind of a girl. You know what? Get me a job as a legal secretary. Awesome. I’m good with that. Because it’s only until I graduate law school. Connor’s used to a frugal life, and he’ll be fine for another few years, too. At least he’s not addicted to technology and media like some other kids his age.</p>

<p>So, keep telling me how I lack knowledge and I’m in for a rude awakening and the work that I’m doing right now means nothing and I’m naive and yada yada yada. I don’t know everything, but it’s not like I don’t know anything about the field I have been working in and am now getting a degree in.</p>

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<p>1012 mom - Thanks for the input! I have heard from lots of people that New England is a lot more expensive than other areas of the country. My best friend got her Master’s at Emerson and paid a grand for a miniscule studio apartment with NO HEAT! But, there was a fireplace, and it was a studio, so it worked out okay with a space heater in the other corner. It is also good to know they have help for children that have special needs! Hopefully he will be developmentally on track by then, but you can’t predict the future. Western Massachusetts is only about an hour from where my brother and sister-in-law live in New York, too. I never really thought Boston would work for me, but because I don’t really know too much about it, I didn’t want to rule out places like Tufts and BU. Plus my best friend loves it there, and I have a couple of friends that live there who could show me the ropes. But I just don’t really care for big cities - I’m a little agoraphobic, which is another reason why I prefer a smaller school. Hordes of people stress me out.</p>

<p>MYOS: I think I am beginning to see that a women’s college might be best. It is great to know that they are highly regarded and that they have strong science programs - that was a little surprising to hear, but pleasantly so. Excitingly so! Furthermore, after looking at some of the boards on here for the women’s colleges, I can see that the kind of women who are accepted there are not the kinds of women that would irritate me. Having a group of other people who are in a similar situation to mine would be really reassuring, and if I could live on campus with my little man, I really can’t think of a better scenario than that. </p>

<p>I know that there has to be a way out of this hole that I dug for myself (way before I had Connor). When I worked for the community health clinic here, the obstetrician, Dr. Smith, a fiery black woman, sat me down and said, “I went to med school when I was thirty as a single mom with three kids who ate cereal every night for dinner and they are all still alive. Kids that age don’t care anyway, I mean, how awesome is it to have Lucky Charms for dinner?! It was worth every second of the struggle but you just have to do it, because there will always be a reason not to. You just have to ignore them.” She is really my role model in all of this - she really did grow up in the “'hood” and she made it, so why can’t I?</p>

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<p>It sounds like you have been doing a GREAT job in very difficult circumstances! I see the wisdom of your paralegal idea. </p>

<p>“she really did grow up in the “'hood” and she made it, so why can’t I?” - Maybe you can. But to me it sounds highly unlikely. It can’t hurt to plan and dream, but have some backup plans too. You and Connor might not like a life of Lucky Charms. </p>

<p>Life is expensive (especially with kids), even w/o trying to go to college. </p>

<p>Many folks struggle most with medical insurance, but perhaps you have govt coverage. Childcare will be another big ticket item. I know you said your son will be in school in 3 years when you do this, but working parents typically spend a lot on wrap-around care. You are smart to plan this far ahead - more time to think it through and work through the obstacles. Good luck to you and Connor!</p>

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<p>OP,
I’m confused where your family lives, and if fmily members can offer child care and some respite time for you.</p>

<p>Since you are in FL, you know it is warm. Me too, but I’m at work all day, in air-conditioned buildings. Rents are dramatically different. luxory apt at FL State is $800, and most around $600. Cheapest studio my son found in Cambridge was $1500, above a subway line. He pays more than $1100 with roommates in tiny apartment. Our cost of living in FL is relatively cheap; groceries an childcare. </p>

<p>I mentioned FL state because of law possibilities, with the state government there. The law students there can get part-time jobs. </p>

<p>If you go to western Mass, like U Mass, apts may be cheaper than Boston, but you will still pay a lot for childare.</p>

<p>So, back to beginning. Do you have family members that are actually offering to pitch in with childcare? Where are they? My 2c, only look in that vacinity or else in Fl</p>

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<p>Best wishes. One more suggestion - look for a college that has an elementary school on campus, like this one at Texas -
[University</a> of Texas Elementary School](<a href=“http://www.utelementary.org/]University”>http://www.utelementary.org/)
or an elementary school very very close to campus. This will make your and your son’s lives easier.</p>

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<p>Not your first choice scenario, but what would the finish your education in Florida plan look like? </p>

<p>Would your AA degree credits transfer to a FL school? That would let you finish college sooner and more cheaply. Can you go at night to some local FL university? Are there more nontraditional students at local Us? Can you get a paralegal job at a firm near where you live now?</p>

<p>I bring this up because you mentioned you have a good support system where you are now. Staying put may not be your first choice, but maybe that is where you can make this plan work, get those degrees while working and taking care of your son. </p>

<p>Thinking about your situation, I tried to put myself in your shoes. I would have gone home so my folks could help me out. I would have worked and attended a large local commuter university, one that didn’t offer the traditional campus life, but had loads of older students and night classes. The school was big enough for me to study whatever I wanted, but more flexible than the flagship campus of this state U. Going part time it would have taken longer, of course. I would have made good grades so the grad school/professional school part of my education could be at a big name place, or in the alternative, so that I would have landed a big scholarship at the aforementioned big commuter university.</p>

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<p>OP, I’m not assuming anything about your intentions. I am just going by what you have written yourself. You will have a Paralegal degree (AA) and you want to find a college where you can get your BA, so you can go to law school. You have a little fellow that is a priority for you. You don’t have much money at all. </p>

<p>Frankly, in your situation, which is not rare at all–I know many in the same situation. Maybe not a Paralegal, but a nurse’s aide, or teacher’s aide, or other type of work and wanting to get a bachelors and further. The fact of the matter, is that it’s very difficult to get accepted as a transfer, a non traditional student and get full need met. There aren’t that many schools that give full need to most of their students, and even those schools do not tend to do so for transfers, non traditional students. Harvard College meets full need, the Harvard Extension School does not. The same goes for Columbia and it’s school for General Studies. Johns Hopkins comes close to meeting need for their traditional students, but not their evening divisions, So, when you look at schools, you have to look at what the chances are of getting substantial aid from a school.</p>

<p>The federal government will give you $5600 with a zero EFC in PELL and up to $12500 in Stafford loans. That’s all you are guaranteed, which isn’t going to go far in meeting private tution. </p>

<p>Frankly, most people in your situation end up going to school, usually a state school part time, taking maybe one , two courses at a time while working full time. I know many, many such students, many with families. They slowly eke the courses as they can afford to do so. If they are lucky, they can find an employer with some tution reimbursement program. I don;t know how difficult it is to find a law firm that will offer such a benefit. But that is the typical path for someoone in your situation. </p>

<p>Now, the Comstock program at Smith and the few others like this are outliers, and I encourage you to look for some like these, look at the profiles of those who got the awards and see if you have a decent shot at it. These are highly competitive programs, the crown jewels for non traditional students as it is painfully rare that such students get such full ride awards. </p>

<p>So, for now you are working towards getting paralegal certification, and a job at a law firm that will give you and your son a middle income life. Be aware that the way financail aid works for independent students is that half your income over a set amount ($6K for single students, don’t know what a dependent will do for that) will go towards your EFC. You may not be eligible for PELL once you earn a living wage.</p>

<p>So, yes, a lot of your plans are unrealistic given how horribly difficult it is to get financial aid for anything more than state school rates, and often not for that.</p>

<p>I have a friend who did do what you are thinking of doing. SHe had a small child, and went to school full time, worked part time, but she had family subsidizing her living expenses. The state where she went to college has high tution even for state schools, so it was a rough go for her, and she took out loans that took her years to repay. She did graduate eventually and get her teaching certificate. So, yes, it is doable. But despite excellent grades in college and high test scores from when she did take the SATs, and very good high school grades, going to any private school was not a possibility. Could not afford it. She tried for years to get jobs at any number fo colleges to get free tuition, but it was no go. So it was one course at a time as she could afford it. </p>

<p>I don’t know what the job market is for Paralegals with an AA and what they are paid. My brother owns his law firm and his paralegal staff (including his daughter whom he so wants for her to go to law school) all have Bachelor’s and then took paralegal courses, getting certification afterwards. So it is with a number of other paralegals I know. You know the market and which jobs at what kind of pay you are likely to be able to get in your area with an AA and Paralegal certification, I hope. </p>

<p>So, again, my suggestion is to move near family who can help you with some expenses, services, and support for you son, and look for resources there to get where you want to go. Apply to some of those programs, not many out there and see what happens there, and look for work and state schools where you can afford to end up getting your BA degree. Sure, give some privates a go, too, but an AA in Paralegal studies is not an attractive enough transfer to fund in terms of money from the colleges, I’m telling you. So, sure, reach for the stars, but make sure you check out the down to earth possibilities too. You are going to need to be able to afford the schools if they do accept you, and as you said, "I am incredibly clueless about financial aid, " . From the way you are making these plans, that is apparent, and so I want to make sure you have, as all students should have, some plans in place that will definitely accept you, and that you will be able to afford. Private schools, often have tuiton in the $30-40K range that are rarely reduced drastically for students, other than the very top candidates, and are lottery tickets for you and anyone looking for close to a full ride. </p>

<p>You may not like Florida, but you should check out Stetson, Rollins and Eckert colleges… Rollins, has some money for non traditional students-- I read recently that the former Elin Woods, Tiger Wood’s ex wife has given money for non traditional students to be able to go there, as she went back to school after her divorce, and even with her wealth found it challenging to do with two small children. I know someone who did transfer into Stetson with a generous scholarship (but still not even close to what you would need to go there), but she was a non traditional student that got some decent money. That is going to be a real sticking point with a lot of the schools on your list. There is very little money there other than the federal entitlements which you are now getting. As you know, that barely gets you by at community college, the least expensive tuition costs.</p>

<p>So good luck to you, and keep gathering your data, both for work and school possibilities.</p>

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<p>Colorado Mom: Thank you so much. I am really working harder than I ever have in my life. I average about four hours of sleep a night, and when Connor is with his grandmother on Saturday night and Sunday (my only day to sleep in) I sleep between 15-18 hours. Once I get my AS, I’m going to look for (real) work (right now I’m doing work-study) and begin going to school part time. I’m not trying to brag or ask for sympathy, because obviously I can go at a slower pace, but I am sick of always being fifty bucks away from homelessness. It’s not a life…</p>

<p>If I apply everywhere I think I have a shot, whether full-time or part-time, and I don’t get accepted anywhere, or I have to take out a gazillion dollars in loans, then I’ll admit defeat. Actually, no, I won’t, because I’ll just go to UF. At worst, USF. But until that happens, I’m going to do my best to make this happen. And if I start believing it won’t, the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing will come into play. I know I have the drive and the smarts to make it happen - it’s just a question of if I can make the admissions guys see that.
TBH, my son is such a picky eater that currently all I can get him to eat is cucumbers, Oatmeal Squares, and Life cereal, so maybe we’ll just have to be a Quaker Brand family instead of Lucky Charms!! :wink:
I do currently receive both Medicaid and food stamps, without which I would be lost, and very hungry.
I am an early bird, and my ideal situation would be to take morning classes while Connor is at school. For example, this coming spring I have class MTWR from 9:45 until 12:15. (I really wanted to do from like 9-1 MW and worth TRF but my classes didn’t allow for that this semester.) If I worked afternoons or full days on my days I’m not in class, then I would utilize after-school care, which is pretty ubiquitous nowadays. Right? Now I don’t feel sure that it is.</p>

<p>Bookworm: Smith, UMass Amherst, and Mt. Holyoke are 2 hours from my brother and sister-in-law in Glenville, NY (Schenectady area). UVa is IN Charlottesville, VA, where my aunt, uncle, and cousins live, and W&M is about 1 1/2 hours away. These are the two sections of my family that I am closest to. Bryn Mawr is about an hour from another aunt and uncle, who I do not have a close relationship to anymore because I live so far away (I don’t even know the names of all of my cousins, who are scattered throughout VA, NY, NJ, and ME… another reason I want to move up north, to reestablish [and form] relationships with my family). My best friend lives in Brooklyn, and my godfather lives in Stamford, CT. My cousin in VA has already freaked out with happiness when I told her I wanted to apply to UVa and she would let Connor and I stay with her while I got my feet on the ground. I haven’t spoken with my other family members yet because application time is so far away. I know my brother in NY would be stoked to have Connor and I living closer, and Connor and his cousin Kaitlin are about a year apart. My mom lives down here in FL, but is making plans to move back to ME in a year or so, where she is from, as she is retiring soon (a reverse snowbird, you could say). At the very least, my brother and SIL would be happy to have me come study at their house, say, around midterms or finals, while Connor plays with the kids, and I’d be there if there were any “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” moments.</p>

<p>Even if I did stay in-state, though, Connor’s grandparents’ house to Gainesville or Tampa or DeLand (UF, USF, Stetson) is still a further distance than western Mass to my brother’s, or W&M to my cousin’s! Lol, moving out of state actually puts me CLOSER to family resources, now that I think about it.</p>

<p>I am not sure at all about Massachusetts, but here in FL we have some subsidized daycare programs. I’m not sure what I’d do about summer, as I don’t really want to take any time off. Actually, since his paternal grandparents may not be moving right away, I could possibly send him there for the summer. OH! I forgot to mention that my son’s father’s family were the ones who gave me the green light to look for out of state schools - I didn’t want to “take” Connor from them, as they bend over backwards for both Connor and me, but they were just like, “Well, we’ll just sell our houses and come too.” Incredible, right? Which is funny, because Connor’s dad is not involved at all. ANYWAY, they won’t be able to move until their houses sell, though.</p>

<p>The cost of living is higher, but what is the average pay rate for a run-of-the-mill, not inexperienced but not fully seasoned secretary or administrative assistant? (Indeed.com says about $2,000/mo, full-time, which seems high.) I don’t even plan to make plans based on anything about about $12, regardless of whether I have my degree or not, because it’s better to plan for less and possibly have more. </p>

<p>I think what some people aren’t fully understanding about my situation is that i have nowhere to go from here but up. I have been on the bottom my entire adult life. At the worst, I was eating pizza out of a dumpster, panhandling, and stealing toilet paper from McDonald’s (before Connor). At my highest paid, my income was more or less $900/mo (after Connor) and I saved up enough money to buy my own smart phone, because in 2011 I was still using a Razr. Most of my clothes have holes in them, and “splurging” is going shopping at Goodwill. That’s not even feasible anymore because I am surviving off of about $400/mo. Connor is always provided for, ALWAYS, but I am used to having close to nothing. All of my belongings, after 9 years of living on my own, would fit in about three or four moving boxes. Now, I’m not asking for sympathy because I did this to myself, 100%. I’m just trying to explain that my standards of financial security and wealth are significantly different than the average person’s. I had my own apartment, car + gas + insurance, utilities, and a newborn, and a deadbeat alcoholic of a partner, and we made ends meet with about $850/mo and food stamps because I budget down to the penny and I stretch the limits of “frugality.” I know how to survive. This is also why I’m so determined to make this happen.</p>