DS is taking a light load his first quarter. We wanted him to ease into his first year. Now, we are wondering if we made a mistake. His schedule is such that he only has classes two days a week. That should give him PLENTY of time to study and have time to hang out with friends, etc…We visited recently and noticed that he has lost some weight (he doesn’t like the dorm food) and is not sleeping. He heads off to bed around 3 am almost everyday and on the days he does not have class, he sleeps in until noon or later. I have asked him why he is up so late and his response is that he is hanging out with friends. I did check his grades a week or two ago, and he’s turning things in and doing ok. He is not missing class. He’s not doing as well as he did in high school, but I’m assuming that’s common in the beginning while they are adjusting to college.
So, is this normal behavior for a college freshmen? I get that he’s meeting new kids and is making new friends, but I don’t understand why you would stay up so late almost everyday? He is not a drinker and was never the party type in high school, but he has always been somewhat of a night owl.
Doesn’t sound like he is staring at the ceiling, just staying up late. I’d tell him to take a normal full load next semester, but otherwise do nothing. Send him care packages.
I guess the one thing I’ve seen come up out here is a gaming addiction, though. You do want to watch his grades.
nope. no gaming addiction, but he is on social media a lot. His phone is tied to his hip. He said he doesn’t understand why I am concerned about his staying up late since he claims he is still getting plenty of sleep.
College involves a lot of sleep adaptation. The whole daily schedule is different from high school. Grad school was even weirder for me when I was working on my dissertation; my wife was working on hers at the same time. We would often work til 4 or 5 AM. Then we’d get in the car and go looking for the early edition of the local paper, which arrived at about 5:30 on the Capitol Square in Madison. We’d take the paper home, read ourselves to sleep and rise to start the next day at noon.
Crazy, but it worked!
More generally, however, getting into a work/sleep rhythm in college takes some time. It will resolve or stabilize at some point
Our kid is at a top ten uni. I can’t call him before 1 pm on some days because he will be groggy.
He’s keeping up with his grades. He has midnight study sessions because that’s when the labs are available, and trudges off to bed at 3 am. I’ve received calls from him at 4 am asking about the next care package.
Make sure he’s working closely with his advisor on his next semester class schedule.
There’s “easing in” to Freshman year, and then there’s setting yourself up for the 6 year plan. If he misses a pre-requisite and has to wait until Fall of next year to take it, he may unwittingly be putting himself on the slow path to graduation despite all good intentions. If you can afford it- great. If not- make sure his advisor signs off on anything he wants to do next semester.
College kids and sleep- ugh. If the only sign of trouble is the late to bed/sleep till noon issue, I’d just keep an eye on it but it doesn’t sound particularly alarming. If you think the weight loss is troubling-- is there something more than just “I don’t like the food”? I think most freshman guys pack on some weight early on- for one thing, nobody is telling you when you’ve had enough dessert (unlike at home). And for the other thing- the social aspect of eating with your friends tends to make meals longer, coupled with “all you can eat”…
He’s not. He’s a very conscientious eater and is very careful about his diet. He likes savory as opposed to sweet.
My concern is that he may be spending a little too much time socializing as opposed to studying.
Maybe he needs a part time job. Both of my kids worked on campus 10 hrs/week while in college plus some other very time consuming ECs. Is your son in any clubs or sports?
My son seems to be slowly moving towards staying up later and sleeping later. He doesn’t have early classes 4 days a week but goes into the evening. Tonight he mentioned he discovered the new library that has a 24 hour area and he is loving to study there. His grades are good so I let him do what works for him. In college my husband and I would stay up very late studying.
My D’s sleeping habits have changed in college. She used to be a morning person, used to getting up for 5 am practices. So she signed up for 9 am classes this semester. Now she’s sleeping in more and refuses to take any class before 10 next semester. So long as she’s getting enough sleep and getting her work done, I’m not worried about it.
But it sounds like your son has too much free time on his hands. For some kids, that’s a bad thing. I know for mine it is. A job plus a full courseload is a good suggestion.
I would not worry. Kids this age need way more sleep than their schedules allow and many prefer to be up at night. As long as his sleep patterns aren’t interfering with his ability to do school work and his social life, it’s all good.
Regarding the part about the weight loss, did your family eat dinner together regularly? I also lost weight my freshman year and I finally realized that a dinner time I was missing my family because that was our connecting time. I didn’t feel like eating dinner because that was the time I thought about my family. If it is just the food quality, maybe send him some healthy nutrition bars to supplement his diet. Trail mix loaded with nuts is also a good way to put on extra weight. If he’s not a fan of sweets, then you could make your own or just buy mixed nuts. If he has something easy and quick to eat, he may snack more.
