<p>So currently I am a fully enrolled freshman at a nearby community college. I decided to go to the community college first as I graduated a year early, (I just turned 17) and I've been homeschooled all throughout my education so I figured a community college would be a good first step. Anyways, I will definitely be transferring to most likely either a large state university or a private college for the '11 fall semester as a sophomore but I won't be living on campus. </p>
<p>My parents are completely set against me staying in a dorm. And I guess I'm alright with that. I am definitely not into the drinking/drug scene and really would rather not have to be constantly exposed to the all night partying and whatnot. Not to mention I've been in some friend's dorm rooms and they are disgusting! Anyways, the plan is that the parents would be willing to buy/rent a condo or apartment really near campus that would be the equivalent of paying for room and board expense. Don't get me wrong, having my own apartment with a couple of great roommates would be awesome, but I'm afraid I'll miss out on the whole 'college experience' and on meeting a lot of awesome people. </p>
<p>So, I guess what I am asking is, in your experience, do alot of the transfers/commuters get really involved in the whole campus scene? The one university that looks like I'll most likely end up going to has a great equine program which I would love to be involved with so I know I'll meet some nice people there. And I know there are clubs and such, and most likely a couple of my friends will be going there as well, but do you find that most of the new friends you make are people in your dorm, or people that are in your classes?</p>
<p>Most of my new friends have been from my dorm. My roommates, a bunch of floormates, people I’ve met in the elevator, people I’ve met on the stairs, people I’ve met at dorm events.</p>
<p>Most–not all, but most–of the people I know who commute, from home or an apartment, their first year have regretted it.</p>
<p>I’m not into the drinking/drug scene either, fwiw. Different dorms have different issues with that, and you can see about which dorms at your intended college have more active reputations. And hey, maybe you’d end up somewhere a bit more drunken than ideal, but it’d give you some great stories to tell XD</p>
<p>Of course, you say your parents are completely set against you staying in a dorm, and if they’re holding the purse strings then they’ve got a lot of say. How do you intend to find the “couple of great roommates”? There can be problems off-campus too, and there’s something to be said for having RAs and SMs and other officials right there in the building to take care of problems.</p>
<p>I’m commuting and so far have found it difficult to get involved with the whole scene. I haven’t been to a single party. Granted it’s only been a month but still, I have a feeling it’ll be a while before I know anyone well enough to get invited to get togethers etc.</p>
<p>It sucks but what can ya do? I’m gonna try to make it work but I’ve still got my whole life to make friends and enjoy living. At least when I turn 21 I can frequent the haunts near my house, or join some local casual sports leagues.</p>
<p>In my experience, not staying in dorms isn’t terrible. It is much, much harder to get involved, but it can be done. I think the problem in your case is going to be your parents more than the fact that you’re commuting. It sounds as though (and I could very well be wrong) that your parents are trying to shelter you (not allowed to live in dorms, homeschooling, etc). That could be very detrimental to your social life if you decide you want to stay out at the school for a night or go out late or something. </p>
<p>I could be completely misunderstanding the situation, but that is the vibe I am getting.</p>
<p>But no, lol, my parents aren’t paranoid. Maybe slightly(but aren’t all parents? ;), but not unusually so. They’re actually quite relaxed with just about everything, but they really dont like the idea of dorms. My dad is an engineer and commuted to a state university and his experience was great with just commuting so he’s thinking the same will be for us. Though, times have changed so I’m not sure if it will be the same. Just after hearing horror stories from fellow parents whose kids have stayed at dorms, they’re a little shellshocked…so I don’t really blame them.
They totally trust me with going to parties and going into the city and what not, they just don’t trust the other students who would be in my dorm, lol. </p>
<p>So, I dont know…I might talk to them of staying in a dorm for just like the first semester while we get an apartment, then live off campus for the rest…I just don’t want to be at a complete disadvantage of not only being a transfer, and thus missing the “freshman bonding”, but also living off campus.</p>
<p>My mom commuted to the state university and had a good social life as well. But that was 30 years ago and not very many freshmen lived on campus. Now the vast majority of freshmen live on campus regardless of whether it’s the state school or a private college. I really think commuting your freshman year would put you at a disadvantage socially. I’m not saying it would be impossible to make friends as a commuter, but it would certainly be easier if you lived on campus. You’d definitely have to work harder to be social if you lived off campus.</p>