<p>So I attend a large state school about 3 hours away from home. It's not a bad school, and it actually ranked in the top 40 by US World Rankings this year. </p>
<p>But I look on all these social media websites and it seems like everyone is IN LOVE with their colleges. I'm not feeling that. I've made friends, and I'm not that homesick anymore, but still, I don't feel like this is the best place ever. Does that feeling take time?</p>
<p>I think it is sort of self-selection bias…the people who think their colleges are pretty good are not out there shouting “Hey, I don’t hate my college! It is alright!”<br>
I think the things that would make you love a college in the long run are the friends you make, the relationships you make with professors, the extracurriculars you get to do, the courses you get to take that you are interested in, the internships you get…<br>
I would bet the kids on social media are more extroverted than you and would be trumpeting anywhere they were. </p>
<p>An analogy I had was when I was planning a wedding. Some people would do exhaustive research on what type of flowers they wanted and be over the moon about them. I was like “white flowers but no carnations”. I just didn’t get that enthusiastic but that is okay.</p>
<p>You have one of two choices–either get on a social media site and LOVE your school just like everybody else SEEMS to OR get off them and start living your own life.</p>
<p>^^^^^^</p>
<p>Exactly. Why do people care what others say on social media? Good grief.</p>
<p>They may be saying they “love their college” but the reality may be that they love getting away from the town they lived in or they love getting away from mom and dad, so no matter what college they ended up at, they would “love” it. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t put too much stock in social media comments. I know plenty of people (yes, even tho I’m a middle aged adult), but they put all the party pictures up. Yet I live in the same town with them and there’s a lot of dull stuff in their lives, or lets just say average stuff that they don’t get on FB and brag about. Yeah, they want to put up the drinking at the Jason Aldean concert pictures, but the little family gathering in the den, nah, they’re not posting that. Not exciting enough.</p>
<p>Are you a freshman? Then please give it time. Not everyone has to be so passionate about things. It took awhile for my son to ‘bond’ with his school. Instant gratification is overrated. Sometimes slow and steady wins the race.</p>
<p>Another thing, the school year is fairly new. When the college kids gotta buckle down and make the grades, and things aren’t always going their way for any number of reasons, it’s going to be less about whoop de doo, I love this place, and it’s going to be, omg I need sleep, I need a break, so excited to be going home to see my lil sissy, and all that stuff.</p>
<p>First you have to ask yourself, are you the kind of person who falls in loves with things in general? If you are someone who genuinely likes things and may even like them a lot or may not hate things just dislikes them some, then you are not going to suddenly turn into someone who loves things. You are more of a middle of the road type of person. </p>
<p>Also, sometimes things need to grow on you. You may just need more time.</p>
<p>At the end of this semester, I would trust my own feelings, regardless of what others are sharing. How you handle it from there, is your decision. Stay or leave? Settle or search for another school community. Trust yourself.</p>
<p>Not everyone loves their college right away. I didn’t my freshman year, because it was cold, it was far from home, and classes were really hard. But, it’s all about making a few close friends and having fun with each other and then choosing the right major so that you can do well in classes. Get involved in research, etc, with your school.</p>
<p>D didnt love her college or the surrounding area at first. Or at second glance either.
But she knew that of the schools she had applied to, it was the best fit financially & academically & she is nothing if not pragmatic.
Now, she seems to have really fit in & she is making the most of her opportunities there.</p>
<p>You dont need to find " the perfect fit, right off the bat" to do that.
:)</p>
<p>D is a strong pragmatist and has little ability to romanticize things, which has repeatedly caused her to worry that she’s missing out or making poor choices because she doesn’t feel all gushy about her boyfriend, college, major, party, weekend, new shoes, whatever like others seem to. I keep saying others really aren’t living in a different, rosier universe; they just sell themselves more on things and express themselves differently than she does.</p>
<p>The image of glorious lives on FB and other social media sites is largely false.</p>
<p>Do you like your classes? Those are why you are in college. It doesn’t matter what the majority does, it matters what YOU do. It takes time to get to know people who share your interests. At the beginning of the school year freshmen are exploring the whole idea of freedom and college. Dorm friendships may or may not last. You only hear from those who shout out to the world. As above, ignore the media sites and live your real life. Especially on a large campus you do not need to follow the majority. It doesn’t matter if others are into sports, Greek life… You only need your social circle- and that will evolve slowly. Give yourself a few more months to settle in.</p>
<p>It’s perfectly ok to not be in love with your college. As Lakemom has bright up, it depends on the type of person you are and how to interact with events. I feel that being at the college that offers you the environment in which you can grow emotionally, mentally, and interpersonally is more important that falling in love with the school. </p>
<p>I’m not in love with my school. Don’t care for living on campus. Don’t care for the majority of the people. Don’t care for the modt popular events. Is this a cause for concern? Nope. It’s the best school for me. All I need to do is tweak my environment. I don’t feel like I will ever get the “This is the best place ever!” feeling. Mainly because I don’t consider living with 300 other students in a building is desirable.</p>
<p>Also, isn’t it just the freshman that make those exclamations? Seems to me the kids I know that are in their 2nd, 3rd, 4th year don’t spend much time mentioning their love affair with the college life. It’s not the new, exciting change for them that it is for many freshman.</p>
<p>I think I didn’t love my college until the second year. The first year I was trying to figure things out - everything from classes to how to do laundry to getting used to a different geographic area to trying to form a social network. It was a little scary and a lot of work.</p>
<p>By the second year, college was “home” for me. By my senior year, I was in tears at the thought of leaving.</p>
<p>Yes, there can be a confidence gained as you continue to spend time at school. Son is a junior this year, so he knows more people on campus, knows the routines, can see how far he’s come, has created memories there.</p>