Hi everyone. I am looking for some advice. To give you some background I am a 19 year old female sophomore in an honors program at a college about 2 hours away from me. I am interested in pursuing a career in Commercial Real Estate after college. I had a great internship this past summer at a large CRE firm and it really solidified my interest in the field.
Last year, I really struggled and kind of never adjusted. I go to school here with my boyfriend of 4 years who I have known my whole life. Our relationship is great and he is a huge support in my life and I love him very much. I am involved with a few clubs on campus and extremely involved in one as I am on their board and I absolutely love it. This year my boyfriend and I live off campus in a great apartment where only students from my school live. I enjoy living with him, we get along well, and the place is beautiful. My grades are great and I enjoy my classes. In general, I really enjoy learning.
However, despite all of this I constantly feel extremely homesick. I felt it extremely my entire freshman year and made a lot of trips home to try and help, but when I am at school all I want is to be at home. I don’t want to be shamed for this. I am not lazy or a baby, and happen to actually be very independent. I just constantly want to be around my family, the place i grew up, and my home. It has become crippling. I have been at school for my sophomore year for 2 weeks and I have gone home every weekend and hysterical cry knowing I have to go back. There are things I like about my school, like the club i am on the board of and learning, but mostly the times i get to spend with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I really like my school as a whole though. I have had a hard time making friends because I feel like everyone I meet just cares about going out and taking pictures for Instagram. I think I am friendly and kind and try to make friends it just hasn’t really happened yet. Although, even if i did make friends, i dont think that would really help fix my pain. I am very much a homebody. My favorite thing in the world is to watch some tv with my mom or spend time with her. I have really supportive parents and see a counselor. I know my alternative if I am upset at the end of the year still is to transfer to a great school near home that has a great Real Estate program. I know I dont have to make this decision yet, but its all I think about. When I think about transferring I know it would probably make me happier in general as i suffer so much away from home. But, I think about all of the things my boyfriend and I do together and planned for the future and I feel so deeply sad. We had plans to go abroad together and we do so much together. Next year he wanted to dorm with his friends anyways, so I know we wouldnt be living together next year anyways. They have the same abroad program at the school I am considering transferring too, so we would still be able to go together, but I feel like he maybe wants to change his plans now that I might not be here too. He swears we would stay together adn I am really not worried about cheating or anything like that. I could go visit him whenever I want and the school I would transfer too is 10 minutes from his house so whenever he comes home I would be there. I know couples make it through going to different schools. I just feel so sad to possibly loose the relationship we have now. The change really scares me. It scares me too to think that I will just never be happy here either. The transfer school actually offers classes that are more geared toward what I want to do. Theres a lot of layers and pros and cons and its just really overwhelming me.
I just wish there was a clear cut answer. I feel lost and my heart feels so heavy. I cry every single day. Yes i go to counseling, and have medication for my anxiety. I guess I just want to know if anyone has transferred after spending 2 years at school with their significant other and was able to handle the change? What would you do? Looking for any advice but please keep the shaming of homesick kids to yourself.