My youngest is working on the finishing touches of her college applications that are due TODAY. She is different from her two older brothers - she’s been doing everything herself. I know she’s been working on her essay for weeks. After school, she would go talk to one or more teachers. Her friends came over to our house to work on them together. One teacher, the mother of a friend, even invited kids over to her house for dinners and writing sessions. The one thing she wouldn’t do was show ME her work. Whatever, that was fine with me.
I gave her an excellent booklet on writing essays (I think a CCer recommended it). I explained that the essay needs to be more about her RESPONSE to situations rather than the situations themselves (which included her brother’s schizophrenia, her cousin’s suicide, and her own anxiety).
So what happens? YESTERDAY she tells me that a teacher thought her essay was too much about her circumstances. So now she’s written a second essay and given me both of them to look at. Sigh. It’s such late notice that it will be hard to give her much help. I keep telling myself that it’s HER job, but my helicopter blades are spinning. Sigh.
That’s not helicopter, @MaineLonghorn , that’s responsible parenting. Who wants to be kicking themselves later over something that could have been avoided through a final parental essay edit and application check?
17-18 year olds do not have their complete set of executive functioning skills developed yet, although many of them surely think they do. Nor have most of them been out in the world much. Your gut says you’re doing the right thing and I would go with it.
You may want to read the original essay to see if you agree with the teacher. My D ignored a teacher who said the essay was not enough about her. She got into Yale and got a personal note about how much they loved her essay. It was a prompt about a person she admired I think. They learned a lot about her from they way she wrote about a person close to her.
I think musicmerit makes a great suggestion. My son had a college counselor from his school, an English teacher, and an outside person that I hired all look at his essays, and the variation on the feedback was very significant. I told my son to go with his gut in terms of which feedback to take and which to discard. The results remain to be seen, but I do think it makes sense to see if you do agree with the teacher.
Thanks, everyone! compmom liked the first one best. So did my husband - I didn’t tell him anything ahead of time, so he read it with no bias. compmom and DH both made minor editing suggestions, so I think my daughter is set! @musicmerit, thanks for the story about your daughter. @compmom, thanks for your last-minute help! DD is literally jumping up and down - a good sign.
Thrilled your D finished on time. I did not even read some of my D’s essays. I know a lot of parents whose kids did not finish applications due to just not doing the essays. Sometimes I think the essays are just too much pressure to complete as each school has a different topic. It can be paralyzing.
@MaineLonghorn, can you tell me what the booklet was that you gave her? DD got 3 EA apps in within the last 24 hours, 2hours to spare on the last one, but will have bunch more to do for Jan 1 (depending on EA results of course).
We also had a busy weekend. She gave me her Common App essay on Friday evening to look over and it was not usable. She took the ‘use your voice’ to mean her ‘talking to your best friend about what you’re wearing to the prom voice.’ Uh no. Complete rewrite on Saturday, with requisite tears early on, but she ended up with something she was much happier with.
My job was to provide ongoing sustenance, keep repeating ‘this is too passive,’ and ‘you’re being repetitive.’
@ihs76, let me get it from my D tonight. If you don’t hear from me by Tuesday morning, can you flag me again?
Good luck to your D. I think it’s asking so much of a 17-year-old to be introspective! I’m glad I didn’t have to be. I just wrote about how I wanted to be an engineer.
we had the same situation, and I think you, ML, actually read the essay in question. The English teacher wanted my son to pick an attribute and explain why that attribute would make him a good candidate for colleges. His GC and I disagreed and wanted something personal. Personal won and I think it was the right answer. Besides, what attribute would my son give? Lazy, spoiled, adorable, charming? Not thinking colleges would be super happy to have those!
