<p>The college admissions process so far has been rough. I have a 3.9 W GPA at great high school.(loads of APs, etc. Sends 30-40 kids to Ivys per year) Ill have 10 APs by the end of this year. I will also have an additional 3 honors classes.I have a 2100 SAT score. My ECs and Recs are solid. These stats have put me on the cusp for a lot of the schools Im looking at. Being an ORM doesnt help either.</p>
<p>Onto the problem. I recently got into GW, BU, and NYU. I'm beyond thrilled, but my parents keep talking about settling or going for a year and transferring. They are just waiting for the Ivies to come out. My chances are ridiculously slim. I just got rejected from Northwestern(loongggg wait) and I got deferred ED from Penn. Dont get me wrong, I would have loved to go to an Ivy or Ivy-equivalent but Im pretty realistic about the odds of that happening.</p>
<p>How can I explain to my parents that I dont have to go to an Ivy to succeed? This is getting stressful : (</p>
<p>Congratulations on your acceptance to three excellent schools!</p>
<p>Your situation does sound stressful. Sometimes it is really difficult for adults to change their mindset. In your case, your best bet may be to tune out your parents as best you can and just remind yourself that you know better, you know that you don’t have to go Ivy to succeed.</p>
<p>Do you still have Ivy applications pending? If not, then the point for the time being is moot. You sound VERY happy with your three accepted choices. Assuming your parents are willing to pay the costs of attending these schools, just go and be happy. Once they see you have found your new home, hopefully they will relax.</p>
<p>The Ivies really don’t offer a better education than what you’ll receive at your schools. Yeah, it’s tougher to get in, but the quality of learning you’ll get isn’t that much different. The major advantage to an Ivy is networking and name recognition afterward, but the name only helps you in the short term. Long term, employers and clients only care about the quality of your previous work.</p>
<p>One thing I always tell my students (and their parents…parent coaching has definitely become part of tutoring!), is that the Ivy League guarantees you nothing in life. Success comes to those who work hard. Sometimes it comes to those that are just plain lucky, too, but an Ivy degree doesn’t make you lucky either Most importantly, an Ivy degree isn’t going to make you happy! This usually hits home with parents. What they want most is for you to be happy. </p>
<p>You’ve clearly got a good head on your shoulders (and truly you sound like you’re more mature than your parents). Just continue to have a good attitude about the whole thing. Attitude makes all the difference in choosing to have a great experience at whichever college you attend, or choosing to mope over “opportunities lost.” Don’t stress. You’ll be fine. In the end, you can’t/won’t/shouldn’t be responsible for your parents’ happiness. They’re grown ups after all, even if they aren’t acting like it right now Congrats on those acceptances and good luck!</p>
<p>Congratulations! You have been accepted by 3 excellent schools. You have terrific options. Many others would love to be able to choose between NYU, BU and GW. Hopefully as time goes on your parents will realize that these are all great schools. At this point you can’t change your parents’ attitude, but just focus on your acceptances and make your decision. You have a lot going for you and you will do well no matter where you attend.</p>
<p>Hey guys, thanks so much for the quick responses! Encouraging words are very comforting during a hectic time. I’m going to take your advice and focus on making a decision. I am not sure out of the ones I have been accepted to thus far, but I can’t stop smiling whenever I think about BU. Maybe that’s the one!</p>
<p>abit, Congratulations on your acceptances. Any one of those colleges will prepare you for a happy and prosperous career and possibly an Ivy graduate degree.</p>
<p>Your parents’ emphasis on the prestige of the Ivy League is unfortunate, but not uncommon. Is there a financial element here as well? E.g., money available for an Ivy but not for the others? </p>
<p>If not, at this point I’d wait “abit” and how your final acceptances shake out. It’s too early to get discouraged. If the three schools you list are indeed your worst case, you’ve got some excellent options.</p>
<p>You have to understand that your parents are only looking out for your best interest. With that in mind it is time for you to have a talk with them. While they no doubt have some pretty good reasons as to why you need to go to one of these schools, they should eventually be able to see where you are coming from about the other schools.</p>
<p>The other choices that you have, that you are happy with, is what you should focus on. Do a little more research into those schools in particular so that you have plenty of facts that you can throw into the conversation.</p>
<p>What it boils down to is that you are very close to being an adult and you are the one that has to live with the decisions that you are making. While they are probably footing the whole deal it will still be you that is putting forth all of the effort.</p>
<p>It might be time for you to simply make the choice and stick with it. Tell your folks what you are going to do, and then do it. They might be a bit shocked but they are not going to refuse to fund your education over it.</p>
<p>We are the proud parents of a BU alum. It was a great school for him and he loved Boston. All three of your schools are great. Have fun making this choice.</p>
<p>We do not qualify for need based financial aid, so price will not be much of a factor. For all of those who need to take price into consideration best of luck! It is hard enough as it is.</p>
<p>I dont see a problem with telling your parents you will work hard, try to get excellent grades and you can talk about transferring. You can even apply to transfer. If it makes them happy, whats the big deal?</p>
<p>It seems to me that your parents are unrealistic. Have you suggested they speak to your guidance counselor? </p>
<p>^ kayf took the words right out of my mouth! Please tell your GC the problem and ask him/her to hold a “let’s review your choices!” conference with you and your parents during which the GC can touch on Ivy “lotto” and then crow about the really terrific choices you earned. This should go a long way in helping your parents adjust their attitude and be more excited and supportive. Which they should be–congrats on those schools! Good luck on your college career whichever school you select!</p>
<p>Ah, thanks! Im loving the GC option. She would be the perfect person to help talk to my parents about this. I never would have thought of that. I don’t think I would transfer though. Not unless I end up unhappy at the school I choose.</p>
<p>Your parents will need time to grieve for the end of a dream, but they will come around. Once the Ivy results come out, will you be going to any accepted students days? If so, take one of your parents along. The enthusiasm of the other kids and parents may be catching.</p>
<p>abit, best of luck. My guess – the schools your parents want take very few transfers. Its never a bad approach to tell your parents you are going to focus on grades and work hard.</p>
<p>Btw, if they want you to go to graduate or professional (eg law, medical, mba) school, your grad school will likely be more important than UG. Tell them you are now focusing on the future, not the past.</p>
<p>Congrats on being accepted to 3 amazing universities. My guess is that once you are at one of these great schools, happy and doing well they will happy for you.
I do love the GC suggestion though, I was thinking a family friend but GC is even better!</p>
Most importantly, an Ivy degree isn’t going to make you happy! This usually hits home with parents. What they want most is for you to be happy. </p>