We usually give a card with a check, especially to our closest friends. It gives the newlyweds the option of spending it on whatever they want. No credit card/registry surcharges.
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We usually put a check in a card . Sometimes we used to also do a small gift too, like crystal votive holder. In recent year it has been a check, unless there is a registry with item(s) available that seems appropriate to our budget.
We got invited last minute in December 21 during Covid (2 days in advance) . Long story but we were visiting my sister out of town at the time and I was able to wear something of hers but husband had to go out and buy a suit coat and shirt, but he was okay with that because he could use them for work. This was a college fraternity brother(and they lived together after college as well) of son and the bride just happened to be from my sisterâs town and we happened to be visiting at the time.
We( including my sister and my son and his wife) had gotten together with the couple earlier in the week at a brewery and then at my sisterâs . And got along very well. So, when last minute cancellations came up, they thought of us and invited husband and me as well as my sister! Very fancy downtown wedding, lots of fun.
Enjoy!
We got some things off their registry last minute and also put in money for their honeymoon fund through the same registry. They may still have an active registry if there is someone you can ask about that. Have fun!
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Even when Iâm invited to a wedding months in advance i give a card (I typically write a handwritten note on an informal rather than a Hallmark type card) and a check.
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To this day, I remember an uninvited, not-close guy friend showing up at another friendâs weddingâŠin jeans no less!
At another wedding, the hosts had some good quality beerâŠbut it was only available to the wedding party and family. All the other guests had to drink the cheap beer!
We had a guy RSVP to our wedding with a guestâŠexcept he wasnât invited with a guest (or even dating anyone). I had my spouse call him and nicely let him know not to bring a guest.
No one gives actual gifts for weddings here, just a check, same with all of the sacraments (baptism, communion, confirmation).
Yeah, I wouldnât have shown up with a gift at a wedding either. I wouldâve ordered something off the registry or picked my own gift and sent it ahead of time. But time is of the essence here so a check it is.
@RookieCollegeMom OMG â cheap beer for you! At ds1âs wedding, there definitely were friends in jeans, but the kids made a point of saying wear whatever you want. Some people wanted to wear jeans and Hawaiian shirts, which are an inside joke in this crowd so everyone loved them.
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I received a STD notification in January 2023 for a wedding thatâs taking place in September 2023. Itâs on Cape Cod (MA), so the early notice is important because this is busy resort area even in September. For the brideâs guests (who are mostly coming from the Boston area) itâs not a huge trek. For the groom, (whose family is from Alabama) it is. The groomâs mother has already had an engagement party for her friends in Alabama and my friend (mother of the bride) said that a few of the guests at the party let my friend know that they were the âlucky onesâ who also got invited to the wedding on the Cape.
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Whatâs with the last minute invitations? It seems almost as rude as matching the value of the plate gifts.
We were invited to a wedding last minute (a week ahead) last summer. While I was happy to be invited, and we had a great time, I still had to come up with a substantial cash gift I was not expecting - it was one of those âmake a donation to my favorite charityâ gifts on a go-fund-me type site - it was wide open for everybody to see how much each guest donated, so the pressure was on to not be cheap!!!
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Do you think letting someone know 9 months before the date is a last minute invitation? I donât. I do think a weekâs notice is clearly too short. Not sure what the etiquette books consider the appropriate time frame.
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Our kids researched this invitation timing issue, and all the current advice was to send âsave the dateâ as soon as the venue and date are known. The actual wedding invites need to go out about 2 months before the wedding.
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No! So sorry!!! I started responding to your post where you stated you received a STD notification in January for September. At first I was confused and I understood âSTDâ to mean something else other than âSave-The-Dateâ. I was responding to that, then figured it out and forgot to âunrespondâ Sorry!
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The short notice for wedding invitations is a pain. Iâve been invited for a cousinâs sonâs wedding â received the âsave the dateâ in January and a personal call from her but since then nothing, zip, nada! The wedding is at the end of this month and we have no details.
Itâs fine for me since I actually canât go but my parents, who can and were planning to go, have been sitting around waiting for the paper invitation with details to book their flights. They may not be able to go since the airfare is much steeper now.
The same for the rest of the relativesâ twiddling their thumbs to get details. Of course, the family grapevine is crackling with speculation â is the wedding cancelledâŠ. etc, etc.
We invited two friends to DDâs wedding the week OF the wedding because a mutual friend was unable to attend because of hospitalization. These second chance friends were very close to being invited as they have known DD a long time. It wasnât an easy decision. This was a coworker of mine.
AnywayâŠwhen we called them about this last minute invite, we made it very clear that no gift was to be given. We were happy to have them as our guestsâŠthe dinners etc had been paid for anyway. And we also told them we would understand if they said no. They accepted. It was actually terrificâŠwe just sat them at the table with other coworkers who they also knewâŠ.didnât change the name tags or anything.
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We have also been invited as last minute guests. One was a wedding on a cruise boat thing, and they had a lot of last minute cancellations. We had never even met the bride and groom til the night before, but we wound up paying for dinner for them and some others (groom was relative of relative). When relative found out about the no shows they said come, and bring some other people if youâd like. (Theyâd already paid, and they couldnât get any kind of refund). We didnât bring anyone else, but we did go.
Another was a childhood friend of ex-husband. He was doing some work at our house and said they had some people cancel, and again already paid.
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We had a cancellation to our wedding, so I did a last minute invite the parents of a close high school friend. Figured friend/hubby were in town for the event, so it would give them more time together. Plus they were always really nice to me - I had spent a lot of time at their house. They were a great, lively couple who dance a lot and added to the good cheer. Gosh, I didnât expect a gift⊠but the nice potato bin was in my kitchen for many years.
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I am delighted by the last-minute invite. If I wasnât, I wouldâve said no.
I totally get why I wasnât invited initially. Iâm part of a large group who all have kind of the same relationship with her, and Iâm sure she felt like invite one you have to invite all, and that would be insanely expensive. Think of it like a kindergarten teacher â would you invite just two kids and not the other 20? I wouldnât.
I do wonder a bit about seating. We got invited because her grandparents are sick. Am I going to sit with family??? I kind of hope not; I donât know them, though Iâve heard all about them. But if sheâs doing the whole assigned seats thing then I might be. Or she spent some time yesterday and this morning rearranging things.
Seriously, I donât care about these kinds of formalities. Iâm glad she thought of me. Like I said, Iâm a great guest â will dance, ooooo and ah over the cake or whatever dessert they have, swoon over the dress no matter what it looks like, not complain about the AC or lack thereof or how loud the music is. Itâs all good. If itâs not, Iâll come back here and tell yâall!
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I was excited about a last minute invitation as well. We knew the couple initially through the groom but the people who cancelled last minute were family of the bride. So, indeed we were seated at a large table with the brideâs family. And we were told the names of the guests we were filling in for and we picked up their name tags at a desk when we arrived. Then found our table.
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InterestingâŠwe didnât even consider issuing sny last minute invites when we had a few (covid related) cancellations a week or so before Dâs wedding because I thought people might be offended. Maybe i should have? Oh well - whatâs done is done.
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Not offended at all. I did it myself decades ago when we had a last minute cancellation. I invited a friend and his wife and they seemed happy to come. I donât think he was offended and we still see him now and again when we visit back home.
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