Some people plan at least a year ahead in order to give their wedding guests a lot of advance notice for time off work and other personal and household logistics.
My daughter is getting married about 1.5 hours outside of Manhattan and it is not costing 6 figures.
They originally wanted to get married in the Bahamas (costs less) and pay for it themselves. I told my daughter to have it here (cannot bring grandparents to the Bahamas). They insist on paying for part of it, but we are paying for most of it.
We told our D and SIL what we would contribute, and they organized the wedding within that budget. I offered them the cash but my daughter wants a wedding.
We went to Kleinfelds for the dress and found something beautiful that I felt was reasonable. The alterations, however, are crazy expensive.
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Agree! That part scared me more than what the dress would cost!
One thing my daughter didn’t care about was the cake. She got it from Publix for less than $300 (including cupcakes). The cake was fantastic and Publix even delivered it!
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Consider a highly recommended local tailor instead of paying a bridal store for alterations. D and I paid a very reasonable amount for alterations from the tailor, and they were absolutely perfect.
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My kid is a wheeler dealer. She bought the sample dress small size because it fit her perfectly…except it was too long. She got a 20% discount because she was buying the on the rack dress. She got them to include cleaning the dress (because after all, it was the sample that had been tried on by many), free storage for the year it was in storage, and free alterations (it was just the hem…so not a huge loss for the shop). She also asked for free shipping here and they agreed, but at the end, she decided to bring the dress with her when she flew here.
But back to the topic. The article to me says that each of these couples had the wedding they wanted. That’s what matters. We tried to make the day special for the bride and groom…and we viewed it as the last party we would throw for our daughter.
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I wouldn’t be surprised if the bar costs exceeded the food costs at our wedding. We had a buffet at the faculty club (prime rib was a choice), but it wasn’t as expensive as a sit down dinner would be. My Dad insisted on an open bar. I didn’t ever see the bill for it, but my family drinks like fish.
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This. We not only wanted a day that was special for the couple but also a celebration for family and friends. We spent a good amount of money but we really wanted everyone to have a good time. A lot of people (including family) had to travel a long distance and we appreciated that.( Note: there was no location which would be “local” for everyone or even most people).
I don’t think its “better” or “worse” to have a simpler/more elaborate wedding. I have attended a lot of weddings in my life and have honestly enjoyed all of them from the simplest (cake and punch in the church hall, no music, no decorations/wedding favors) to those with elaborate meals, live bands, open bars, etc. I have enjoyed celebrating with friends and family.
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Having worked in the kitchen at the local country club summers in HS and college, where we were doing 4 to 5 wedding every week, I would go with a buffet for any weddings over 50 people if you care about food quality. Since plating is sequential, the plates that are plated first will still degrade even in a fancy banquet warmer which applies humidity. Beef holds up the best and freshly sliced beef (prime rib, New York strip roasted as a whole, steamship round) all work really well. You also don’t have to solicit preferences ahead of time as you can have fish/poultry/vegetarian options on the buffet line.
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Agree. There is a third option: dinner served family style, sort of a hybrid between a sit down dinner and a buffet dinner. I was not sure how that would work but it worked great. We had bread baskets, salad, vegan entree, beef, fish, and sides. The guests did not have to stand in line to get their food, and the caterer did not have to plate food and make sure everyone got their reserved meal.
Back to costs. 
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Asian banquet style!
One area to scrutinize is really understanding the drinking options. Sometimes the open bar is the best deal, sometimes a tab bar is a better deal (non heavy drinkers with reasonable charge per drink) and sometimes doing open bar for beer and wine only and a tab/no mixed drinks is the most economical option.
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Does that matter? I thought the usual structure was $X per guest for a couple of hours plus a smaller amount per additional hour, then you pay for staff on top? Best value for heavy drinkers, though perhaps not for the memories of the day!
At D’s wedding the caterers served the alcohol but it was bought separately. That was a huge savings, especially since we were able to buy plenty and return the extra. Of course this is only an option at an independent venue.
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If heavy drinking/drinkers are a probability, for non-hotel non urban venues, I’d definitely look at shuttles from the venue back to the blocked hotel(s) and maybe a bunch of Ubers/Lyfts pre-booked on standby. Also was at a reception recently where straight booze (no shots) was not served.
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I have no idea if there was a fixed price or not. It was a million years ago! (And my Dad spoke directly to the venue.)
We paid for an open bar both the night before the wedding and at the reception. The night prior, we reserved the rooftop bar of the hotel from 6PM until everyone who joined us went to bed. For the reception, the cost was based on the number of bottles (of anything) opened. DH paid a deposit up front that was adjusted the next day based on what was actually used. We were allowed to provide our own beer and wine but had to use the hotel’s liquor. We opted to just go with the hotel’s stash as the cost difference wasn’t significant. The wedding ended up being about 85 guests, and the alcohol bill was very reasonable (about $1,500 for the rooftop bar, about $4,500 for the reception). We have no idea how it compared to the cost of the rest of the wedding as our son paid for that.
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I thought booze for weddings was typically done by venues as a bottle cost. Which is why wedding drinks can be particularly strong. The more bottles that are opened/used the more the venue makes.
Lately, I have seen a couple of signature cocktails and maybe 3 types of hard liquor/limited mixers along with beer and wine.
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I was at a very small wedding where the open bar option was selected - it had a known/reasonable price vs TBD. But… there was one guy (there without his wife) who did drink too much and needed friends to help him find his airbnb. Of course he may have done same without the open bar in the corner.
Our venue provided a bartender at an additional cost ($500) for the evening, but we provided the booze (wine, beer, and liquor for 2 signature cocktails, for which I estimated we spent about $600). About 60 adults. We still have some of the wine and booze! The bartender was great. He watched for tipsy people and made sure the cocktails got a bit more diluted as the night progressed. 
Then he stopped serving cocktails about an hour before the sparklers send off.
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As a largely non-drinker the price of alcohol floors me!!!
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My son and his wife opted for beer and wine. The venue charged for the bartender. They went to a lot of trouble finding wine and beer that represented all of their guests. So beer from PA, MN, OH and MI for instance. It was cute.
They are still drinking some of that 6 years later!
My son and his wife picked a venue where all of the catering and bar and cake was separate. You only rented the venue. They wanted to pick their other vendors themselves and it was cheaper than the other places that had minimums.
We have a small family, my dil has a small family. It was hard to get to 100, let alone 150 or 200 that some of these places had.
My daughter, she and her fiance couldn’t agree on what they wanted. So they are having 2 ceremonies, one micro wedding locally and one destination wedding. It works for them.
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