NYT: What 5 Couples Paid For Their Weddings

[abasket]

Lol smaller font … that was my laugh for the day!!!

[natty1988]

@Nrdsb4

I think that was a very reasonable POV. There’s a big difference between constantly playing the money card in order to exert control over every detail, and refusing to pay for something that would exclude key family members.

So true! Also, if the bride and groom want to do a wedding their way, then they can pay for it…

@Hoggirl

I am honestly in the camp of whoever pays for the wedding should get, “credit,” on the invitation. Easy if it’s 50-50. Maybe harder to justify if the G’s family kicks in a smaller percentage. Maybe give them a smaller, appropriately-sized font on the invite that is proportionate to their contribution? I’m JOKING!!

It’s hard to say…but if it were me, I wouldn’t feel the need to be patted on the back because I paid for my kid’s wedding, that’s a choice and something that people want to do. Maybe find a way to include both families or something? That’s why I’m glad I paid for most of my wedding by myself with my H. Our parents did both kick in a bit for the catering and we got married in H’s parents backyard…

Even better would be an asterisk by the groom’s name and then it mentions the parents in a footnote on the invitation…ahahaha

[Lindagaf]

Eye opening thread.

There is no wedding without two main people. Those two people should do whatever they want to do, whatever way they want to do it. Parents should have almost no say, regardless of money spent. That doesn’t mean parents can’t offer opinions or help, but they should generally keep quiet. If parents don’t like the plans, they can not contribute. If the couple doesn’t like that, they can modify plans, compromise, acquiesce, or whatever.

I’m actually really glad after reading all this that my parents had almost no hand in my wedding. Other than my dad being the person who married us, they showed up and enjoyed, like everyone else. We paid for our wedding, and they gave us money as a wedding gift.

I think my dad in particular learned his lesson the hard way after asking my sister to invite people he knew to her wedding. A bunch of those people didn’t turn up and he still had to pay. It was quite embarrassing for my sister.

[oldfort]

I was very involved with D1’s wedding planning, and D2 is doing the same with me. I don’t think it has much to do with who is paying.

[natty1988]

@Lindagaf

Eye opening thread.

There is no wedding without two main people. Those two people should do whatever they want to do, whatever way they want to do it. Parents should have almost no say, regardless of money spent. That doesn’t mean parents can’t offer opinions or help, but they should generally keep quiet. If parents don’t like the plans, they can not contribute. If the couple doesn’t like that, they can modify plans, compromise, acquiesce, or whatever.

I’m actually really glad after reading all this that my parents had almost no hand in my wedding. Other than my dad being the person who married us, they showed up and enjoyed, like everyone else. We paid for our wedding, and they gave us money as a wedding gift.

I think my dad in particular learned his lesson the hard way after asking my sister to invite people he knew to her wedding. A bunch of those people didn’t turn up and he still had to pay. It was quite embarrassing for my sister.

Good point!

@oldfort

I was very involved with D1’s wedding planning, and D2 is doing the same with me. I don’t think it has much to do with who is paying.

I think it depends on the family. My oldest niece’s mother helped her plan her wedding and she wasn’t paying for it. But my niece wanted her mom’s help. I know people whose parents paid for the entire wedding and bowed out of the planning or the parents were paying for the whole wedding and they made it “their party.”