Oberlin College vs. UW-Madison

I don’t think that’s clear at all.

She said she didn’t see herself fitting in at Oberlin. She applied to Oberlin to follow a lacrosse coach, and we all know that coaches come and go and it isn’t a good reason to commit to a school. Every coach at the schools my daughter looked at left before she completed school. One school where she really liked the coach but didn’t like the school lost that coach before my daughter even started, and then went through 3 coaches in the fall (spring sport). Follow a coach with caution.

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Well - I guess I “inferred” from her original posts. Maybe I’m wrong but…

Pros of Oberlin:
*Personalized relationships with professors
*Seems to have genuinely nice people
*Can play collegiate lacrosse (DIII!)
*Personalized research opportunities that can be more long-term and less competitive than at [Madison]

Her cons of Wisconsin:

Cons of Madison:
*Big school, so might get lost or overwhelmed in it
*Friends could come and go
*Party school and I don’t like to party (there are plenty of people who don’t though and live in the Lakeshore living community as I plan to)
*Won’t personally know my professors (I am the type of person who likes to ask questions so it is important for me to get those questions answered, preferably right away… maybe sitting in the front row could help?)
*Won’t get as much extensive research opportunities or know professors as well as I’d like to
*Won’t get individual help from professors themselves that are qualified and less personal attention- people aren’t vying to have me come to [Madison]

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It sounds to me like you are choosing Madison because your boyfriend will be there and you are afraid to be away from home. Maybe the right reasons, but maybe you are selling yourself short. I am in WI and both of my kids have many friends at Madison. WI kids who go there tend to hang out and live with the kids from their home towns, even in their later years. The classes are huge and sitting in the front row isn’t enough. If you see yourself as someone who will go to office hours, introduce yourself, apply to programs for opportunities, etc, then it might work for you. While many kids can do really well at a big school, many kids who aren’t great advocates for themselves just glide through. And the comments about many classes taught by TAs and the fact that it is a HUGE party school are exactly right.

Very well said.

Eh, many TA’s are future profs and may actually be better at instruction than profs at research U’s. One of the best classes I ever had in undergrad (at an Ivy-equivalent, so not a state school) was a seminar led by a PhD student (he’s now a prof at SOAS in London).

At a big state school, since grad students will be leading more discussion sections (few classes are actually taught/led by grad students), the strength of the grad programs would matter too; and UW-Madison has many strong departments.

But yes, at a big state school, it’s much easier to glide through (or fall through the cracks in a challenging major) without anyone caring or noticing.

It comes down to what you want out of college.

Oh, but I agree that letting your BF having any influence on where you will go is a bad idea.

A tiny percentage of HS relationships last past college.

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Could you print this out 20 times, in 72 point print?

Too many kids make college choices based on their BF/GF, and in almost every case, the relationship is over within the first semester, but the college choice is still there.

That’s other people, not me - they all say :slight_smile:

That’s why folks are pushing OP toward Oberlin.

It’s almost as if she’s fearful, even though she knows it’s right - and given all the pros of Oberlin and cons of Wisconsin, because there’s familiarity there, it’s comfortable.

But from an objective 3rd person (not just me but many) Oberlin is the better bet.

There’s lots of kids making lots of hard decisions in the next few days - and I wish them all well.

I would also choose Oberlin

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Update: I am still uncommitted but am thinking of submitting my deposit for UW-Madison in the next hour. I just don’t think I personally can “deal” with the quirky people at Oberlin, no offense. Those are just my honest feelings on that. It’ll be hard to not have the lacrosse team by my side, but I don’t really think I am cut out for Oberlin…I can still play club though. @tsbna44 @twoinanddone @Lindagaf @cormac05 @Midwestmomofboys I am making the right decision?

In the end, it’s your life and your four years. And honestly, anything can go right or wrong anywhere.

For example, you can pick your dream school but have a bad roommate situation and hate it.

Or you can go to the school you don’t want to due to financial reasons - you don’t have that here - but let’s say you had to choose Stevens Point - because it’s cheap and close to home and you could meet your BFF of 50 years. You just never know.

In the end, you have to make the call.

I’m no Oberlin expert but I think it’s an overgeneralization to say everyone is quirky. I’m not buying it and others have stated such.

I also think - you can’t run your life based on the opinion of people you don’t know from a website. Yet at the same time, I think the opinions of people like this do have value in this sense. You are making an emotional decision - my guess partly based on fear.

If nothing else, having opinions from people that have no skin in the game, that are completely detached can be helpful because unlike you, your bf, your folks, cousins, etc. - the analysis and opinion you see - right or wrong - are written completely without emotion - so that can be helpful.

In the end, it’s your four years - you have to go, enjoy and grow. If your decision works out, great. And if it doesn’t - life doesn’t end. You’ll adjust and figure it out because that’s what great humans do, deal with and adjust when faced with adversity.

I have my opinion and you know it. Others do as well.

But at crunch time, we are not spending the four years on campus (although I wish I could join you because I’d love to go to college again!!). You are spending those four years so you have to make the right decision for you.

Best of luck.

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There is no right or wrong decision here, just shades of better. It sounds like you’ve had reservations about the Oberlin community and that continuing your sport has not been the dominant factor in your college search. So it’s okay to let that option go.

UW is an incredible university, with world class faculty. It is a fantastic opportunity. If you want to push yourself a bit at UW, go random in room selection rather than choose to live with a high school buddy, or choose a residential learning community (Chad is a great one – big, centrally located) and/or enroll in a FIG to create a smaller learning community for your first semester.

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Both are good schools. I know I would pick Madison because I like large schools, and love Madison. It has so many opportunities and it’s so alive. Several of your concerns are really in your hands and you can control whether you get to know your professors, find research opportunities, meet friends outside your high school group. You have to made the opportunities work but you can do that.

My high school friends who went to Madison met other people (even married them) but enjoyed getting together and still do. It’s nice to see a familiar face sometimes. One met her husband because he was roommates with someone from our town. The circle may start small but then grow to include others.

My daughter was recruited by Oberlin lax too, but by that time she’d been to a few LACs and didn’t like them; didn’t like the academics (wanted engineering) didn’t like the SJW vibe. She wasn’t afraid of them, just didn’t want to be involved. And that was okay. Obviously, lots of people love the LACs. The opportunities to work on political causes or become involved in social action is one of the great benefits of Oberlin and other LACs, but since she wasn’t interested, it didn’t make sense for her to pick that type of school. One school had a lot of internships, could study abroad or in DC or in NYC, but she wasn’t interested in any of that. (my other daughter would have loved it) You have to judge whether the benefits of Oberlin would be good for YOU. Do you want to be involved in the activities they offer? Do you want to be in student government or write for the paper? Will you take advantage of the activities? If not, what benefit will Oberlin give you?

I don’t know how good UW’s lax club is. Lax for women in the Big 10 is new (except for Northwestern) because they added schools from the east, which makes the Big 10 the enormous 15. Because they added lax in the Big 10, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Wisconsin add it in the next few years. Some club teams are really very very good and the league madison plays in has some good tournaments. You might find the level of competition just as good as at Oberlin.

Good luck. I think you’ll love Madison.

I committed to Madison!

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Actually, it is not true that grad students only lead discussion sections. Many courses at Madison are taught independently by grad students. I know. I did it myself and I know Madison quite well. I just always think that people should understand that there will be a mix of instructors at a place like Madison and the professors are there because of the re

Hence the word “few”. Perhaps I am simply mistaken but I have a suspicion that grad students aren’t teaching the majority of classes at UW-Madison.

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Congratulations and Good luck!

Congratulations!

Just so you know, sitting in the front 2 rows in a lecture hall is a great idea, it makes the lecture hall feel less big and the professor will sound just like s/he’s talking to you personnally :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
However you can’t just raise your hand and interrupt the lecture to ask questions like in a high school class (or in a smaller or discussion class). That’s not what the lecture is for. If the professor asks a question you can raise your hand to answer (or you may have to answer using clickers) but if you were to ask questions every week it’d be seen as poor form. What you do when you have a question during a lecture is that you write it down in your notes* and then you go to office hours to ask all your questions. That’s what office hours are for and part of your professor’s duties. However, many college students forget this - they don’t ask questions during the lecture but they never go ask during office hours, leaving the gaps in understanding un-answered. Office hours is when you get to know your professors, BTW, so all around a good habit to take up.
(* try to use a notebook, because the hand movements help your hand retain and synthesize the information, which will make it easier to study. You can then type up your notes neatly later on. Many students type directly which has its advantages - you can typically type faster than you handwrite and of course no 2nd step of typing notes - but it means you’re missing a “step” in the hand/brain/memorization/synthesis process that you’ll need to catch up upon in another way.)

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I’m back! I was just thinking about this forum so I thought I’d come on here and update. I thank you all once again for helping me with my decision- it is probably the hardest one I’ve ever had to make. I wanted to give an update now that I’m halfway through my degree. I will be starting my junior year at UW-Madison in a couple weeks and lived here this summer. There sure is a lot to do here in Madison and I eventually made a few friends. I was unlucky and had an antisocial dorm and a really rough freshman year. I regretted not going to Oberlin (and still kind of do) and tried to transfer, didn’t get in. I joined a sorority and it wasn’t for me, then I joined the lacrosse team and the girls were petty. Madison is tough for me because the profs and TAs don’t really care, or at least, can’t make an effort to secure everyone’s success (Organic Chemistry solidified that one for me). Overall it was not good and I learned that I definitely thrive in small class settings. I did join a small interest group courseload my first semester with a group of 20 students which led me to making friends the following year! Ok, onto the more positive things! Things got better my sophomore year- I ended up walking on to the D1 Rowing team at Wisconsin and found the structure a great way to keep me busy. I tried research and recently shadowed at UW Health Hospital in neurosurgery- that couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone to a big school! I’ve met incredible and brilliant professors and made good connections here. I really liked being so close to home my freshman year, but I think a smaller town (suburb or rural) would be good for me in the future. I am studying abroad in France, facing a difficult decision once again between Aix-en-Provence and Paris. I think I’ll go for Aix for not only a better cultural experience but a smaller atmosphere. This summer has been beautiful- I row with a club every morning and am a caregiver/taking classes in the afternoon. I have roommates that I like (finally) and have a car to go home once in a while. Things are good!!

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Nice! Thanks for the update!
Glad it seems to be working out for you. Enjoy France!