<p>I had an indecisive kid who became decisive because when it came to the big things – whether to select our zoned public school or the IB magnet program elsewhere; whether to stay in the IB program or transfer; what colleges to apply to; which college to select – I forced him to make the decisions himself.</p>
<p>I made sure that he had all of the info. For instance, I insisted that he shadow students at both high schools; I took him to visit colleges; I let him know our financial limitations when it came to college, but I didn’t make the decisions for him. In each case, he waited until the last second to make his decision, but it was his decision.</p>
<p>When it came to college, he couldn’t make up his mind, and he ended up missing all of the deadlines for colleges that interested him. He knew our house rule was that once out of high school, if you’re not in college fulltime, you’re living on your own supporting yourself or you are living at home paying rent. So, by Feb. of his senior year, he had an application in to Americorps, and a job promised to him. He did this all on his own. He wanted to live in his own place. I showed him the classifieds. He decided to live at home and pay rent while being in Americorps.</p>
<p>During his Americorps year, he applied to 2 colleges – the in-town public and a LAC he’d fallen in love with. He paid his application fees, arranged for transcript, etc. to be sent by himself. He is now a very happy soph at the LAC, where he’s getting good grades and making his own decisions – good decisions about courses, ECs, rommates, etc.</p>
<p>So my advice is to let your D make up her own mind. Certainly help her see the plusses and minuses of each situation, but realize that this is the one time in her life in which making mistakes won’t be a disaster, but an opportunity to learn how to make better decisions next time. Everyone learns through experience. Give your D that chance.</p>