Official Ivy Essay Thread

<p>Pamela, the girl who wrote this, got into Harvard.</p>

<p>Brothers and sisters are rarely friends. perhaps comrades and confidants, even inseparable-but rarely do they actually agree.</p>

<p>Take my sister and me, for example: she knew how, in my eyes, chocolate had no rival in the bliss stakes, so she'd wait until she knew I was salivating (every hour or so) and she'd filch it and feed it to our abjectly grateful dog. She loathed grunge music, so I, in retaliation, would play my raucous selection until it reverberated off the walls.</p>

<p>You get the idea.</p>

<p>But we were the only two girls in the family, you see, and very close. Although we betrayed each other's secrets on a daily basis we still told each other everything. Young and naive.</p>

<p>When I was almost four, I remember her gloating about her new boyfriend. I was indignant, invidious, so I got a boyfriend in revenge. Phantom phone calls, withered flowers in the mailbox, love notes posted to my door...until she found out "Jerome" didn't exist. I never did live that experience down.</p>

<p>Five, six, pick up sticks...the era of the bike. She got off her training wheels before me, so I let her tires down.</p>

<p>Seven, eight, stay up late...by nine, it was boys' germs, girls' germs...and according to me, my brothers had them with a vengeance. According to them, even germs would die if they touched me.</p>

<p>Nine, ten, friends again. I got pocket money that year, and I bought my own chocolates, but no matter how carefully I concealed them, the dog always enjoyed them more often than I did.</p>

<p>Just before her thirteenth birthday, my sister started walking funny, sticking her chest out and squeezing her behind in. She'd look at Mother cryptically, and ignored me completely. One day I found a tape measure discarded on her bedroom floor, and still I had no idea.</p>

<p>It was only when I found two triangles held together by a bit of elastic that I finally filled in the jigsaw.</p>

<p>It grew worse...she became moody...always yelling or bursting into tears. When I asked Mother what was happening, she said ominously,</p>

<p>"Your sister's a woman now."</p>

<p>How come she got to be a woman, while I was stuck being a girl?</p>

<p>Then, I discovered the opposite sex and knew what she meant.</p>

<p>My God, he LOOKED at me?</p>

<p>He caught my bus on purpose!</p>

<p>(didn't he?)
I found her information about boys invaluable. Our pre-bedtime discussions gave me a massive head start on all my uninformed rivals in the race to utopian couple-dom.</p>

<p>The summer of my fourteenth birthday, I began to notice more changes in my sister. She didn't beat me anymore if we raced, or slaughter me in tennis. In fact, she did hardly anything at all. She even became breathless walking home from the bus stop. She made me promise not to tell, but one day I accidentally let it slip. My sister was livid, turning white in a fit of pique and then crumpled into an exhausted heap. I crouched by her side, trying to help her up, but she brushed me off. As I got up, offended, and turned to go, I saw my mother's face blanch. I followed her wide-eyed stare with trepidation, and saw mottled purple and yellow bruises surfacing on my sister's arms, where I had clutched her. I opened my mouth to protest, but what I really wanted to do was bolt from the room.</p>

<p>Later that week my sister went to the doctor, from there straight to the hospital. From that afternoon on, I was adrift, lost in an ocean of bewilderment.</p>

<p>Waiting rooms,
taxis,
white walls.
Bone marrow transplants...me to her...Mother to her...someone to her.
Hair falling out,
drugs,
money,
injections,
no cure.
My once-glowing sister was fading away.
Waiting rooms, white walls.
disinfectant,</p>

<p>Wigs, blankets, shrouding a hollow shell, drained of life vulnerable.
Catheters,
injections,
money,
life sentence.
Remission...relapse...remission...
relapse.
The blank eyes shone once into mine, and slept.
People die only in the movies. This is not real this is not real this is not real.
Things truly named can never vanish from earth. In memoria tenebitur.</p>

<p>"A child, once quick
to mischief, grown to learn
what sorrows, in the end,
no words, no tears
can mend."</p>

<p>Months later, when I feel like eating again, I go to the pantry and there is a stack of chocolate.</p>

<p>I wish...it had been stolen...and given to our dog.</p>

<p>~ Pamela Ng</p>

<hr>

<p>ahaha i read this essay in 2000 and i LOVED it!! i think the harvard newsletter published it. it's quirky and sad and inspiring and very well written. and she came from Australia too!! wow...</p>

<p>I don't know, I guess I am oblivious but can some one tell me how this essay would help you get into Harvard. I am in no way saying it is a bad essay I am just a little confused at what the admissions committee would find in this essay.</p>

<p>it is VERY well written and it poignantly tells about her relationship with her sister and their growth throughout the years. and also, she figuratively links it to the dog and the chocolate.</p>

<p>Guys,
Personally, I positively LOVE this essay. If you don't mind, it brought tears to my eyes the first time I read it. I didn't dare read it again so as not to spoil the fine feelings. Sorry for being sentimental. FYI, I have a little sister too. The point is, if it could have done so to me, it probably could have done so to the adcoms too.
Btw, my essay collection is going to run out any minute. Would you mind chipping in help?</p>

<p>wow ! This is the best essay I have read!</p>

<p>(A.K.A. See what happens when you don't proofread?)
Take a break from the word processor...A couple of guys told me they're dead worried about the essay thing. You don't have to be so all the time. Smile up and learn something at the same time:)</p>

<p>You would be amazed at the things that get written into admissions essays – even at the top schools. The following is a list of some of the funniest mistakes found by the admissions officers on our team. Remember that behind the hilarity of these errors lurks a serious message: always proofread your essays! Otherwise you will get the same reaction that these other applicants did: "It makes you wonder if these kids care about their essays at all," said one of our staff. "I never know whether to call it apathy or ignorance," said another "but either way the impression is not good."
But then again, at least they get a laugh! </p>

<p>Mt. Elgon National Park is well known for its rich deposits of herds of elephants.
I enjoyed my bondage with the family and especially with their mule, Jake.
The book was very entertaining, even though it was about a dull subject, world war II.
I would love to attend a college where the foundation was built upon women.
The worst experience that I have probably ever had to go through emotionally was when other members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and I went to Pennsylvania for their annual pigeon shooting.
He was a modest man with an unbelievable ego.
Scuba One members are volunteers, but that never stops them from trying to save someone's life.
Hemmingway includes no modern terminology in A Farewell to Arms. This, of course, is due to that fact that it was not written recently.
I am proud to be able to say that I have sustained from the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco products.
I've been a strong advocate of the abomination of drunk driving.
If Homer’s primary view of mortal life could be expressed in a word it would be this: life is fleeting.
Such things as divorces, separations and annulments greatly reduce the need for adultery to be committed.
It is rewarding to hear when some of these prisoners I have fought for are released, yet triumphant when others are executed.
Playing the saxophone lets me develop technique and skill which will help me in the future, since I would like to become a doctor.
However, many students would not be able to emerge from the same situation unscrewed.
I look at each stage as a challenge, and an adventure, and as another experience on my step ladder of life.
"Bare your cross," something I have heard all my life.
There was one man in particular who caught my attention. He was a tiny man with ridiculously features all of which, with the exception of his nose, seemed to drown in the mass of the delicate transparent pinkish flesh that cascaded from his forehead and flowed over the collar of his tuxedo and the edge of his bow tie.
Take Wordsworth, for example; every one of his words is worth a hundred words.
For almost all involved in these stories, premature burial has had a negative effect on their lives.
I know that as we age, we tend to forget the bricklayers of our lives.
I would like to see my own ignorance wither into enlightenment.
Another activity I take personally is my church Youth Group.
The outdoors is two dimensional, challenging my physical and mental capabilities.
Going to school in your wonderfully gothic setting would be an exciting challenge.
My mother worked hard to provide me with whatever I needed in my life, a good home, a fairly stale family and a wonderful education.
I hope to provide in turn, a self motivated, confident, and capable individual to add to the reputation of Vasser University whose name stands up for itself. [Note: the correct spelling is Vassar].
Filled with Victorian furniture and beautiful antique fixtures, even at that age I was amazed.
They eagerly and happily took our bags, welcomed us in English, and quickly drove us out of the airport.
Do I shake the hand that has always bitten me?
In the spring, people were literally exploding outside.
Freedom of speech is the ointment which sets us free.
I first was exposed through a friend who attends [school].
As an extra, we even saw Elizabeth Taylor’s home, which had a bridge attaching it to the hoe across the street.
Under Activities: Volunteer (Retarded tutor)
Name of Activity: Cook and serve homeless
On a transcript: AP Engllish
Misspelled abbreviation on another transcript: COMP CRAP (computer graphics)
Handwritten on an interview form under Academic Interests: Writting.
Courtesy of IvyEssays.com</p>

<p>I think the two sentences "However, many students would not be able to emerge from the same situation unscrewed." and "Going to school in your wonderfully gothic setting would be an exciting challenge." made me burst out laughing.</p>

<p>i liked the bondage one and, "Do I shake the hand that has always bitten me?"</p>

<p>This one is from James Fry, who got admitted to Columbia early. It defied a number of common sense rules for admission essays:
1. It includes REALLY OFFENSIVE swearwords. Maybe he couldn't help it when he was gonna die.
2. It ends with a quotation.
The nice thing about it, I guess, is the constant action that compels readers.
Anyway, see for yourself:</p>

<p>I constantly go back. First I feel blessed, then angry, then amused, then contemplative. Right now I’m contemplative, I guess. My thoughts once again drift to shattered glass and a sudden flow of water. They reenact the fear of complete loss of control and perceive, once again, that I am where I think I am, harnessed, hanging upside down, in a ditch. My brain constantly shifts the pieces together in a different order; the “what ifs” and the “whys”. It’s not just my brain either; my body is in on the game as well. My body is the one responsible for the uncontrolled spasms when another car gets too close. My body is the one that can still feel the dread in its muscles. They work in concert, body and brain, to put me in that place where I am experiencing the same moment in time, repeatedly, in full color, slow motion, with the sound on mute.</p>

<p>I am driving home from visiting Brown with my friend, speeding a little, but mostly keeping up with traffic. The guy in front of me is much too slow for my liking, time to change to the middle lane. Glance in the mirror. Make the move. White SUV out of nowhere. *<strong><em>. I need to get out of the way now. I need to slow down. *</em></strong>. I’m out of control. What’s going on? I’m going to die, I know it. OH MY GOD. I’m alive, right?</p>

<p>I am so tempted to chalk this whole experience up to fate. I want the ease of saying that it’s all part of some grand scheme. I want to force some contrived meaning on it and store it in a neat little box in the back of my brain. Twenty years from now I want to be able to take the box, look at it and say “that’s when I learned to never go faster than 60 miles per hour and to always wear a seatbelt”. But that’s such a lie. I guess I could say that was a lesson learned, but it’s not the whole lesson and it certainly can’t be that simple. By making it that easy, I am undermining the gripping fear and reducing the anger to a mere anecdote.</p>

<p>It is so easy to take our most defining moments and give them a nice, neat, over simplistic meaning (and usually so much more comforting as well). What is infinitely harder (for me anyway), and, in the end, vastly more gratifying, is to interpret experiences with the whole self and accept that you may never reach any real conclusion. The unsafe feeling of jumping into the unknown is what life should really be about. Forget the search for meaning, why don’t we search for the experience? And, just maybe, in that experience we will find some meaning. A car crash may not be the ideal way to get to that place, but it is how I got there.</p>

<p>“Where I am, I don’t know. I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on”. (Samuel Beckett)</p>

<p>Its very well written and perceptive. I'm not surprised he got in.</p>