My son was just accepted as a transfer for spring 2018. We went on the campus tour together and are going to the open house this weekend. How involved were you after the move in process? Do you talk to the admissions office with your child about classes that transfer and which ones they needed to take next for them to be on track for their major? Did/do you attend the orientation day with them? It seems like a lot of paperwork and hoops to jump threw in one day, just concerned that something will get left out. As a transfer student he moves in one day, orientation the next, then classes start the next day. I don’t want to be a hovering parent, but also don’t want to leave him hanging if there’s something most parents attend.
That should all be handled by the student. The student should know which classes transfer, or if he doesn’t, visit the registrar or his adviser. He should talk with his adviser about the classes he needs as well.
Zilch. Kid’s an adult now. He handles it all, including getting himself to/from school.
Let your son do it. Students are certainly capable of dealing with all the “paperwork and hoops.” And schools really don’t appreciate helicopter parents.
Involved very, very little. Student handles it.
My son was a transfer. I’m on board with the zilch parents. The one and only time I visited his college campus was to attend his graduation two years later. I did send my son a form to take to the financial aid office to verify his enrollment and cost of attendance, that was required by my daughter’s college for her financial aid. (Son wasn’t eligible for aid, but daughter’s college increased her need-based grant because of her sibling’s enrollment).
I’m going to say something different. If he is going to school on your dime, I’d ask him to meet with the registrar and his advisor on his own, but then provide you with the info on what transferred and what his path to graduation is. Easy to say he is an adult now, but if you are paying, you need ongoing confirmation that he is on track to graduate. Trust, but verify.
My D transferred many year ago. I am going to agree with @intparent here. She was certainly capable and did all the things she needed to do, but I was a ready and willing sounding board for her to bounce stuff off of. She had to pick classes in a hurry, from what was left since everyone else was already registered. She had to deal with issues of how her credits transferred. She handled all that fine, but talking through issues and choices with someone who knew her and knew her aspirations was really helpful.
Transferring is very stressful. In a lot of ways that are different from starting first year with everyone else. I think you can avoid being a helicopter, without adopting a sink or swim attitude.
D was immensely successful at her school and thrilled to have found where she belonged. A little support and (asked for) advice from her parents did not cripple her.
I think what most parents here are saying is that they interact with their child, but their child interacts with the school. The only direct dealing we have with the school is paying the tuition and handling financial issues.
I dealt with the financial aid office. Otherwise, sometimes a sounding board.
Thank you for the replies guys. @ garland and intparent,I think I’m a bit more like you both. I am paying for all his tuition so I feel like I need the assurance and verification that he is on track to graduate on time and that I don’t need to pay for another semester because he’s missing a class that could have been taken. For me tuition is a lot of money and I don’t think kids really realize that all the time since they aren’t working for that money.
We’re a close supportive family but I’m not looking to helicopter over him, I just didn’t want to not be there for something the other parents attended or did with their kids.
You have three months to do as much as you can in advance. Don’t walk into orientation cold, hoping some overtaxed advisor or other will sort it all out. When D transferred (as a sophomore) I stressed continually that she had to figure it out on her own, be her own advocate, and make sure the advisors got on board. She had a dual major, so there was some coordination involved. She handled all the academic matters, but I dealt with the finances, since we were paying the bills.
I see from your other thread that your S wants to major in Psych and try to get a PhD. S is on this track, so I can say a word or two. Getting into a PhD Psych program is EXTREMELY competitive. Your S should try to get some research experience if at all possible. If he is interested in clinical psych, many schools will have suitable options. If, like S, he is interested in a particular psych research area, then he has to find people doing the type of research he is interested in. That can be more challenging and would likely mean a different school than the undergrad. Cross that bridge when you get to it.
I just always remember the boyfriend of my roommate freshman year of college. He was in his 7th year as an undergrad. Back when it was much, much cheaper – and his parents had money, and maybe the university rules were looser. He did eventually become what appears to be a reasonably successful adult per Google searches. 
But nobody has a vested interest in an on-time graduation like you the parent. To be fair, I tracked this with both kids who didn’t transfer, too.
I let the kids handle it. I wasn’t worried about on time graduation. If that had been a concern, I would have still let them handle it, but would have asked more questions.
My D picked her own classes and researched book prices/options (rent versus buying used or new).
I helped with FAFSA and taxes, and made sure her scholarships were credited correctly on her student account.
She added me as an authorized user on her financial aid account so I could check on things and knew when the bill was due.
The first year I sent in the immunization record and made sure she had her insurance card with her.
I gave her advice on filling out employee payroll forms when she got a campus job.
The first year we filled out housing application together, in subsequent years she did it herself.
There is nothing to prevent you from reviewing graduation requirements and courses needed with your child. I’ve done it with mine who isn’t a transfer student. I’ve suggested classes that will fulfill multiple requirements (for the major, for the A&S requirements).
I’ve contacted the school for financial questions.
I went to pay the bill and discovered that they wouldn’t let me because for privacy reasons they couldn’t tell me what the bill was. I then produced a copy of the bill (a printout of email my daughter had sent me) and they let me pay. I also drove the car and carried boxes. My daughter pretty much handled the rest. I think that it was great for her to discover than she could handle it herself.
I have no problem with parents staying involved and asking questions when their students are off to college. As much as they are adults, there are many things they will benefit from if a parent doesn’t totally bow out. I would never make calls for my D’s, but I would remind them to check on certain things–especially things like transferring credits, billing, general administrative deadlines and job hunting.
I know many parents who were astounded when other students got additional scholarships or great summer internships that lead to job offers and their own children did not. In some cases it was because the student acted independently, learned the ropes, actually read all their emails and acted upon them. But for many other students it was because the parents were involved enough to remind their sophomore or junior students to update their resumes, write a good cover letter and start applying for internships in January rather than May in a panic.
Back in the Stone Age, I transferred after my freshman year. I’m not sure my parents even know I was thinking about transferring. They certainly didn’t do anything during the application process. It was basically all up to me…including figuring out how to pay (this was in the 70’s when paying for a state public university was actually possible by working in summers and during college).
I showed my parents my grades every term…I was might proud of them. But they would NOT have understood my course sequence at all anyway. It was up to me to meet with an academic advisor…and chart my course of study.
My kids didn’t transfer…but even with that…I never really did anything but look at their nice final grades each term…and paid the bills.
@sylvan8798 I was thinking the same thing with advisors. I’m not always sure they are that “vested” in picking my kids classes. I went back to college late in life and never found them to be very helpful or knowledgeable about what I needed to take. I’m concerned as well about him getting into the PHD program. I think they only take like 15 students. He needs to really set himself apart from all the other applicants. I think the research internships will be important as well.