<p>I have an only child who is a freshman this year. She is very independent and loving everything about her chosen school. Her dad and I are thrilled at how well she's adjusted but miss her terribly. She has no idea how much we miss her and we want to keep it that way. This is her time.</p>
<p>That said, I would be most grateful for insights and advice as to how any of you has dealt with this transition.</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>:( Sorry, Agatha, and also, CONGRATULATIONS!!! :)</p>
<p>I know you miss her terribly, so many of us have been through it, but be proud of her for doing well and adjusting, and proud of yourself for raising a kid that is doing well and adjusting! 
</p>
<p>Sending care packages made me feel better. Bake her some cookies, put in a gift card for Starbucks, her favorite restaurant, or the local drugstore or grocery store. Put in a framed photo of you guys smiling with the family pet, or holding up a sign saying something silly to her, the new DVD that’s out that you know she’ll love and a new scarf because it’s getting colder…you get the idea. Stuff that is special, it will make you feel good, and she will be excited to get it.</p>
<p>Get a dog. (seriously)</p>
<p>In addition, remember that the whole thing is usually broken up in pieces with them coming home for Thanksgiving, which is only 8 weeks away, shortly after that for winter break, again not too long after that for spring break (unless they go do a beach party somewhere), and then it’s summer.</p>
<p>In between, there are phone calls, video Skype if you can talk her into it, texting, IM, email, etc. It’s best to let her do the initiation of the conversation most of the time so she can have her independence.</p>
<p>You’ll get used to it as you settle into the different routine. You’ll still miss her though.</p>
<p>LOL at GladGradDad’s get a dog solution.</p>
<p>We have 3 girls, and two pugs. My youngest goes to college next year. My H says that expects the pug population to go up by at least one. :)</p>
<p>A lot depends on what your family dynamic is NORMALLY like. We are really tight knit. My daughter and I text little things almost every day, or message on FB. In the new electronic age, it’s so much better than it used to be. If you’re friends on FB, you can see her having a good time, making friends, joining clubs - and just knowing she’s happy and safe will make you feel better.</p>
<p>I am also in this situation - only daughter off at college this year and she is very happy. However, I have my moments of missing her. Yes, we keep in touch - email, phone, skype, etc. - she keeps me posted with the funny, exciting, or interesting events of her day. With no kid around there seems to be so much less to do (laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.) and so much more time to do it in.</p>
<p>I used to do all kinds of things long ago - paint, sew, walk on the beach…LOL - maybe I’ll have time for some of those things again, and maybe some weekend trips with DH.</p>
<p>Definitely start by congratulating yourself & DH on raising an independent kid! </p>
<p>My only went off last year and while we were very used to him being away from home (camp every summer since age 7) I got a third dog last spring! </p>
<p>And as gladgraddad said, they are home a lot.</p>
<p>Volunteer at the local elementary school,
Have a big night out with your husband and come home and celebrate all over the house.
Go to Parents weekend, and take a few days to explore the area.
Actually read the book group book.
:)</p>
<p>emeraldkity4 love the book group comment. (Won’t work for me I already read 100 books a year - but I wish others would do this).</p>
<p>I love my daughters, but also enjoy having house to ourselves. My fantasy is they move back to lir amazing city, but not live with us!!!</p>
<p>Meantime, text but if they don’t text back all the time, eh, no worries!! I send pictures of the fog, the sun, the dogs, a cute pair of shoes, I email cute ideas for xhristams presents.</p>
<p>My daughters and I also read the same books, like divergent, something light an easy read but with topics we can discuss after. </p>
<p>I also remember who I am!!! It’s my time so woot!!!</p>
<p>Oh and the dogs help!!!</p>
<p>Hi Agatha!</p>
<p>I totally know how you feel…my son is an only child and a freshman in college too. He’s in a great school, one that we think fits him perfectly and he seems to be settling in pretty well. I’m happy and proud of him for being so independent and adjusting so well, but like you, I miss him terribly. Even though he’s only 2 hours away and calls almost every night, it’s been a tough transition. But I think the best thing is to keep busy. Find a new hobby or take a class. My husband and I signed up for a ballroom dancing class which is really fun and I also work part time. Like GladGradDad said, it is all broken up into recesses, holiday breaks so he gets to come home and visit. Hopefully, in a month or two, you and I will be used to them being away. :)</p>
<p>Our only child headed to school this year and fortunately we already have a dog. It helps. But we found what helps the most is a big project. We are selling a boat and getting it ready for sale has kept us hopping for the last 6 weeks since he left for school. The new owner takes the boat away this week. Our next project is replacing the rotted threshold on the back door, followed by the really big project, gutting and replacing the old bathroom (subfloor is rotted - do I detect a theme here?) The main thing is to change up your schedule a bit and do something different.</p>
<p>D O G S. And get in touch with your pre-kid self or learn a new skill.</p>
<p>After the only kid left, I began painting again. I’ve sold a few dozen and I’ve discovered what I want to do when I grow up!</p>
<p>Maybe this would be a good time to take up a new hobby (watercolor painting? playing the cello? bird watching? writing that novel?) that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for. Volunteering for an organization in your community is another good way to fill some of those hours as well as meet people.</p>
<p>I found that we adjusted remarkably quickly to having our baby, our only, our pride and joy, away at school. We do have a dog, but he got plenty of spoiling even before DS left. </p>
<p>It’s gratifying to see him thriving, even as I’m a little wistful that he’s striking out on his own. I treasure the times that he reaches out to communicate (he’s not much of a talker) even if it’s not as often as I might like. </p>
<p>Knowing your daughter’s in a good place is half the battle–maybe more than half. Most of my separation anxiety for DS is because I know he’s enjoying his college experience, and I wish I could share in that a little more. It sure beats worrying that he’s unhappy!</p>
<p>We’re in the same boat, our only (D) left for a freshman summer program at her school in August. The first month was by far the hardest, constantly worrying about everything imaginable. Figuring out the frequency of contact was a challenge, but now we’ve settled in to a comfortable routine with a long Skype on weekends and occasional texts or e-mails of “news” during the week. I did set up an Instagram account, though from what I’ve seen the kids aren’t expecting a parental audience for their pics. I use it to post an occasional photo of the family pets and travel photos. It really helps when DD tells us about the cultural and intellectual opportunities she’s had at her school, I feel we’re all benefiting from her new experiences. We used to spend almost every afternoon discussing ideas, and that’s what I miss the most. I recall something someone from CC once wrote, “You’re only as happy as your most miserable child”, and that is true even for an only child. As long as she’s happy, we can’t help but be happy (though a bit lonely) too.</p>
<p>My only is also a new freshman. We text, email and have intermittent phone calls. I “liked” the school newspaper, the school website and the FB page for his major so I get posts of each on my FB page. They also have a printout of campus events for each week that I subscribe too.</p>
<p>This way I feel like I have a sense of what is going on on the campus and see photos/videos of campus activities so it makes it feel not quite so far away. And, I can ask him about anything I read which helps during phone calls since neither of us are the phone chatty types.</p>
<p>Oh, hey, and my karma must be good from my acceptance of the distance–just got a completely unsolicited email from the kid.</p>