Opinions Are Welcomed Along With Any Corrections Or Add-Ons

<p>I want to start off by saying one of my aspirations is that I will be given the chance to experience the learning environment that Florida A&M University has to offer and by doing so I plan to uphold the reputation of the university. My unique characteristics would be the fact that I’m a quick learner. As the teacher is presenting the classroom with an assessment I’m innovative, I think outside the box and try to be creative. I truthfully believe that I am strong enough to face numerous challenges and obstacles that will come along the way as I pursue my studies and strive toward excellence. I believe that being outgoing, generous and a hardworking person that will be a major contribution to help me further my study at the university keeping my priorities and responsibilities first. I plan to be a very active student on campus . My ambitions in life which causes me to striving for my goals will help uplift other students in the university community to pursue their desires. Also that I possess the strong character that is needed in to meet the demands of studying and getting the work submitted on time. Doing well in classes requires massive amounts of concentration which I feel like I can be up to par with, and being an individual who comes from a country of diverse nationalities and culture</p>

<p>What is the prompt? try to give at least one or two specific example(s). You’re trying to say too much in such a short paragraph. And for phrases like “try to be creative,” let’s find another way to really express your “strong character.” Besides, “innovative,…outside the box,…creative…,” uhm… which is best in your situation? And why so? I understand that they are not necessarily the same.</p>

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<p>A few things here. One, don’t begin with “I want to start off by saying…”. Two, you “aspirations” shouldn’t be to attend that university; they know you want to attend by virtue of the fact that you’re applying. Instead, talk about your career goals in a way that is unique to you, and talk about how you think that university will help you achieve those goals. Be specific; visit the university’s web site and see what kinds of opportunities they have to offer that interest you. Talk about what you want to do, not what you want to be, and make sure to mention something about making contributions to your field of study.</p>

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<p>This isn’t unique. The majority of the students applying are “quick learners.” Describe yourself in a way that could not possibly describe anyone else. Also, make sure your grammar is correct - the plural ‘characteristics’ doesn’t match the singular ‘fact’.</p>

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<p>Justify this statement by describing a challenge you’ve overcome in your past.</p>

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<p>Be more specific. What activities on campus are you interested in? Justify your statements by referring to activities in which you have participated in your past.</p>

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<p>What are your ambitions/goals? Be specific. Also, grammar.</p>

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<p>You just want to be “on par”? Sorry, but this is an unacceptable thing to say in an entrance essay. It’s good that you acknowledge that school requires hard work, but don’t settle for “on par.”</p>

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<p>You should be more specific about your experience with diversity, and how it has helped to shape your outlook on the world, and how it will give you a unique perspective in your field of study.</p>

<p>Yikes! I hope this is a fake. If not, too many unecesary words, and nothing to make you appear distinctive. Take it to your English teacher along with a giant Starbucks and prepare for a lot of red ink.</p>