<p>
And that lesson is being driven home by the OP's good ol' mom and stepdad .</p>
<p>The financial aid system is definitely screwed up. I too am part of a blended family, and while the school I wanted was affordable without FA (I'm lucky that my father is able to contribute his portion and that my portion comes from a sizable 529), I didn't dare look at more expensive colleges because I knew I couldn't afford those. I'll be at my state school this fall. My dad would have loved for me to be at Lehigh or Lafeyette, or some other school of that caliber (I'm a little below Ivy material). But I knew there was no way to afford it, so I didn't even look. The FAFSA and profile both take into account my stepdad's income and savings. He doesn't make a ton, but combined with my mom we were certainly placed in a category we couldn't afford. It also takes into consideration the education funds that are in his name for his daughter. I am obviously not allowed to touch a penny of her very sizable 529, just like if she were the oldest she couldn't touch any of mine (though mine is in my dad's name and would not be counted on any of her forms). My stepdad contributes very little to the home, only assiting with payment of groceries. He's a mega spender, on things that benefit him only. My mom's a teacher and has to support us, while also keeping the house running. The agreement in the divorce is that she and my dad split the remainder of my bill, after I contribute. Yes, my dad can afford it. But my mom can't afford a huge portion, and while my 529 is sizable, it still only gives me 5k a year for school (when we split it in 4). Point is we get screwed over too. Everyone in a blended family does, because I can guarantee very few stepparents ever contribute a cent to their stepkids' education, and my guess is few actually step up and contribute more to the family to cover the household expenses. It just doesn't happen.
I have no problem going to the state university. UNH is a good school. Our class valedictorian and salutatorian are both going there this year. I looked at some private schools that became affordable with merit scholarships, but they weren't for me. Do I wonder if I could have gone somewhere better? You bet. But it wasn't worth graduating hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to me. I will have debt when I graduate; mom can't help me all 4 years, and grad school is my own to pay for (though dad will likely help me some). But it'll be a lot less than the private schools would have been.</p>
<p>As a mom who also is dealing with the blended family issues, we encouraged my son (S1) to look at schools in the 568 President's Working Group. These are schools which use a different methodology (Consensus Methodology) to determine financial aid, one part of which being that they look only at the income/assets of two parents, even when there are blended families, stepparents, etc.</p>
<p>For the link to the site describing their methodology: <a href="http://568group.org/methodology/index.html%5B/url%5D">http://568group.org/methodology/index.html</a></p>
<p>Scroll down to "documents" to view the pdf file of the whole methodology.</p>
<p>The list of schools now in the 568 Group:</p>
<p>568 Presidents' Group Member Institutions
Amherst College
Boston College
Brown University
Claremont-McKenna College
Columbia University
Cornell University
Dartmouth College
Davidson College
Duke University
Emory University
Georgetown University
Grinnell College
Haverford College
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Middlebury College
Northwestern University
Pomona College
Rice University
Swarthmore College
University of Chicago
University of Notre Dame
University of Pennsylvania
Vanderbilt University
Wake Forest University
Wellesley College
Wesleyan University
Williams College
Yale University</p>
<p>These are all pretty tough schools in terms of admissions, but it is helpful to know their philosophy of aid. Princeton and Harvard claim to have a method of determining aid which is even more favorable, thus they are not members of the 568 Group.</p>
<p>What I plan on doing is, I had around $10k as a result of unpaid childsupport being put in a lump sum account that a judge set aside to pay for my lawyer (it was a really icky divorce where a judge ordered that I be independantly represented) and anything left over to go to my college. So I got that, and then I had about $5k in savings, and I was crashed into about a year ago so I have somemoney from the settlement with the insurance company. I also got the stafford loan (unsub), so for the first semeter I'm okay, and then my dad is continueing to pay child support but directly to me (in the state of NY, where the divorce happened, he's required to pay till I'm 21, and my mom is fine with it going straight to me) so that's some money, and then my dad has offered to co-sign for me to take out student loans, and I'll continue to work over the summers and try insanely hard to get merit based $ (my school has $10k deans scholarships they give out) during the school year. I know it will all work out somehow in the end, it's just such a fustrting place to be in. </p>
<p>On a brighter note (for me) my mom is beginning to seriously look into getting a divorce, so hopefully in future years I'll be considered to have need again, and she'll be out ofthe yucky marraige.</p>
<p>(and I just want to reiterate the fact that I wasn't the one who falsely filled out the financial aid app, my mom did--I even told the financial aid office ahead of time that it was with incorrect info because i knew they would frown on it, and hoped they would see that I was trying to be responsible by telling them)</p>
<p>And to monarchsfan16, I totally empathise with you about the rediculous selfish spending--my step dad has a completely overindulgent habbit of buying swarovski figurines that he leaves in their boxes and keeps in his closet. Like, $300 crystal butterflies--its so stupid. Don't even get me started on his collection of $100+ mechanical pencils (I WISH I were kidding).</p>
<p>Anyways, I will be taking out loans, so I guess to me it is worth it. I looked at a lot of schools that were in my relative price range (more than half the schools I applied to were public), but I really just couldn't picture myself at any of them for the next 4 years of my life. The school I ended up picking really was everything I'd ever wanted in a college, and everyone I've spoken to who has gone there has absolutly loved it. Several rising sophomores I know can't wait to go back in the fall.</p>
<p>I guess I was raised thinking that if I worked hard enough things will work out. Guess that's not the real world.</p>
<pre><code> I have never heard of a situation quite like yours. I think it is really unfair what happened to you. I have never had any problems with financial aid myself. I grew up also with my parents being separated, and we didn’t have as much money. I can relate with the struggles you and your family faced. I can’t complain about financial aid because like I said, I have never had any problems. Financial Aid has really been more of a help than a problem for me.
I am really sorry that you had to go though this. I’m sure it was difficult. So did that guy just out of nowhere wanted to marry your mom? That is crazy. I would like to hear more about that story if you have time. I can’t believe they took away you dad’s money. That is wrong. I think your step-father should pay everything, it was his fault anyway.
I believe sometimes financial aid offices can be of no help. Some people that may work there, might have no intention of helping. I also believe that there are some who wan’t to help. It’s a matter of talking to the right person. I agree with you, I believe that the main focus of Financial Aid is to help ALL students who can not afford to pay for their tuition.
People don’t want to deal with a difficult situation, but those are the ones who need the most help. You can’t let this go, but I couldn’t either if it was happening to me. I don’t understand why they won’t help you. It makes me really upset to know that someone who wan’t education won’t receive the help they promised to give us. I wish you the the best of luck.
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<p>Cassandra.</p>