Options after poor start

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There is a wonderful institution in this country that accepts all comers, no questions asked and with the past wiped clean. They are the community colleges. If your son succeeds in a CC when he reapplies for a 4-year college they are going to look at his record from the CC as the best indicator of his future performance.</p>

<p>However he will be required to disclose this past semester when he applies to 4-year colleges, no matter if he does it now or after attending the CC. You aren’t allowed to pick and choose which grades and schools you tell them about. Not to do so is grounds for having admission revoked or (if found out later) being expelled. And there are national services that track enrollment information so the chances of any “accidental” omission being discovered are very high.</p>

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<p>Wait, how big of loans? If they are, say, 25-30k plus, couldn’t this cripple your son financially, especially if he’s responsable for loans in subsequent years?</p>

<p>S doesn’t know it, but H and I plan to help him pay back his loans after college. </p>

<p>S’s having to take responsibility for his first year of college education after slacking off big time in high school made college a responsibility that he took seriously. If he had not really wanted to go to college or had wanted to go to college for only superficial reasons, he wouldn’t have worked in college, saved most of his earnings from Americorps or taken out the loans. He also wouldn’t have organized himself to apply to college and to pay for the applications.</p>

<p>There was no reason for H and I to sacrifice to send S to college after S’s behavior as a high school senior had indicated he was too lazy and too disorganized to be able to handle college. H and I had done whatever we could to help S in college including sending him to expensive counseling, being involved in his schooling, etc. it was time for S to become responsible for himself or to get on a noncollege track to support himself.</p>

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<p>Actually, NSMom, in retrospect, in many ways, D getting her GED after junior year in HS was one of the best things that could have happened (tho at the time it really did throw us all for a loop). D & S have overcome adversity and have become more resiliant, showing them that they can do or be whatever they need. It allowed D to go to CC, where they have been MUCH more accommodating and flexible in scheduling. Her U is also great about working with her, allowing her to have a wonderful college experience. </p>

<p>We have told D that those wonderful HS classmates & their families who have stayed loyal to her through all of this will be her lifetime friends and she agrees. Their friendship helped keep a tough situation bearable. They were her peers while she attended CC and helped her keep focused on where she was heading. They also helped critique her college essays and give her application tips (it was the only college app she ever made). They were all very disappointed at how poorly the HS handled the situation.</p>

<p>Well, our appointed meeting has finally taken place. (I had to make my son sign a contract to get him to sit down and have a deep conversation with me about all this.) He doesn’t feel college is the place for him, at least not until he gives his dream of becoming a rapper a shot. He wants to get a job and throw himself into developing his rapping and trying to make it. He is actually very talented, so he just might do so. </p>

<p>It’s quite a shock to me and requires serious reevaluation of the map I had for my life for the next few years, and what comes afterwards, if he doesn’t make it as a rapper, is pretty scary. </p>

<p>But I guess we’ll face that when the time comes, if it comes. I’m not going to insist that he postpone or give up his dream. And clearly he wouldn’t do well in college if I forced him to go back. </p>

<p>I’m hoping he’ll be able to take a leave of absence from the school, so he doesn’t burn his bridges behind him.</p>

<p>I did suggest that he might pursue this dream through a performing arts program and degree, but he feels pretty strongly that isn’t the way it’s done when it comes to rap. I don’t know if he’s right, but it appears it wouldn’t be right for him. He feels he can’t be creative in an academic environment, and he’s proven to me that he can’t be academic when his heart isn’t in it. </p>

<p>So there we are.</p>

<p>Wow! You could be talking about my son or nephew. Actually, my son seems to feel college is right for him, but I know he would love to major in being a “B boy” ( break dancing). He agrees to engineering as a “back up plan”…preferably as a two year degree…I’m breaking it to him, but slowly. My nephew is still planning to return for his junior year of university, but seems more interested in his music career. I think deeply about this because my brother chose a career in film, and after many struggles, is doing okay at it. He would say sister (lawyer) and I ( physician) took the easy way out, ignoring our creative side in favor of a well defined path. While we did not have role models in the family, the path was fairly clear. Having family member’s in entertainment or art would probably make things clearer for aspiring artists. What I learned from my hairdresser, a would be doctor who is an artist doing hair on the side, is that a good knowledge of business, and an ability to develop various income streams is important for performers and artists. Perhaps you can remind your son that the most successful rappers today are also business men/producers. A degree in business wouldn’t hurt.</p>

<p>Maybe your son could take a year off, and if he felt it was right for him, he could later enroll in a community college.</p>

<p>I’m currently in college and my grades are pretty average. I won’t be returning next year, and have applied for winter jobs doing conservation work in national parks. College is too expensive for me right now, and I want to be certain of what I’d like to major in before returning. I’d also like to have some adventure while I’m still young :). </p>

<p>Taking time off can be a pretty good option, if you put the time to good use.</p>