Orientation Angst--Did the Chosen School Lose Luster?

Parents Forum
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<p>The most important thing to remember about Orientation, in my opinion, is that it is not college. It takes place in the same location and involves some of the same people, but that's about it. </p>

<p>When I went to Orientation at Cornell thirtysomething years ago, many of the upperclassmen who were orientation leaders wore decidedly unofficial shirts that said "Camp Cornell." The point was that orientation was more like summer camp than like real college. There were no classes and no academic pressure, but there was a great deal of regimentation and forced socialization. The orientation leaders made a point of saying that if you think that Orientation Week has any resemblance to what you're going to experience the rest of the year, you're nuts.</p>

<p>Some kids love Orientation; some hate it. As far as I can tell, a student's reactions to Orientation have little or nothing to do with how the student will feel about the college once classes start.</p>

<p>Although I can understand why many colleges schedule summer orientations, they certainly can backfire for students who have an unpleasant experience and then have many weeks in which to brood before going back to campus. Those who have the old-style just-before-classes-start orientation may not get as much individual attention, but at least they don't have to worry all summer about not liking college before being plunged into the real school year.</p>

42

<p>Add me to the list of those who are not big fans of the mid summer orientation. I just returned from one of these three day long weekends. I will say that from the point of view of the students, many did enjoy the weekend, the chance to stay overnight in the dorms, meet many new future classmates and learn a more about what to expect in the fall. Student orientation advisors also led small groups in team building activities designed to break ice and get kids to know one another. A performance of skits by students that highlighted common and sensitive issues common to the college experience was another highlight. However I am aware of at least one young man (son of someone we know) that had a bad roommate experience over the weekend that colored his perceptions somewhat - so there's that risk, too. </p>

<p>After some sessions in common the first day, a parallel parents program that ran from early morning until late at night was also offered and highly attended. I guess that for parents new to the whole college process there were some helpful nuggets. However - we had just done an accepted students day in April that covered much of the same information. The truly informative parts could be found on the college website or easily condensed into a one day program. We also could have done without a lot of the rah rah stuff mentioned, the cheerleading filler, more performances, too long speeches by some administrator etc. The problem is that the sessions were so broadly named that you didn't have a sense of what would be valuable and what would be OK to skip. As has been pointed out, many parents had to take valuable time off of work for this as well as incur considerable expense to stay for two nights at area hotels and then come down in August to do it all over again. I enjoyed the weekend for the most part, and had the time and resources to do it, but it really is a huge imposition on the time and money of many families and I really think that schools ought to be more sensitive to that. My vote is for what my older child's university does - a one day accepted students day followed by orientation during move in. I also felt that the trend toward these are all to do with the schools that are most concerned with their retention rates, ie rankings. But there's no doubt that they can be an inconvenience to many people who don't appreciate the use of time. I did hear plenty of good natured (and some not so good natured) grumbling about this from other parents over the weekend.</p>

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<p>To orientation101: The majority of negativity is coming from parents/students complaining about orientation programs that happen in the spring and summer, as opposed to ones that occur just before classes begin. </p>

<p>I think freshmen orientation is a wonderful idea for a host of reasons. I have very fond memories of my freshmen week in college. Since you are experienced in this, perhaps you can explain why your college holds orientation so early, and not just prior to classes.</p>

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<p>Are we not talking about two different things? Summer orientation does not replace a more traditional, settling-in freshman welcome orientation at the start of school. For all the kids I know, the summer thing is optional, a chance to meet with advisors and sign up for classes, kind of an extension of accepted students' day. Are you guys saying that some of you had a summer orientation and now your kids will arrive in August the day before classes begin??</p>

<p>D had something called Preview, a one day thing (though an overnight with activities the night before was available for those traveling longer distances.) Kids and parents were NOT split up except for lunch and one meeting session. I thought perhaps that was a mistake because as, someone pointed out above, kids are different with their parents around. The emphasis was academics -- meetings within your college, your major, your advisor. But then (and here hers differed from all her friends) she was sent home, prepared to register online in mid-July.<br>
After move-in day, there will be three days for the freshmen before the other kids come back. Getting to know people on your floor, summer reading group discussions, excursions around town, a community service project, etc.</p>

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<p>At my college (large flagship public), there was summer orientation in July w/registration, and <em>everyone</em> moved inthree days before school started. The upperclassmen often chose to come in a day or two later, but it was a free-for-all on move-in day.</p>

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<p>My daughter loved her orientation (large Big 10 school) and she is really excited now about fall. Among the pluses - grouping the students by school (all music school together), kids and parents split up for most of the sessions, a funny musical put on by theater students, and a very personal tour backstage by the director of her dept. Registration for classes was a little confusing but she was fairly well prepared for it before she arrived. At her school it is actually possible to waive the summer orientation and arrive early for fall instead, but I imagine by then a lot of classes are full.</p>

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<p>As I mentioned before, Ss school has a full week before regular school starts in September as the only orientation for freshmen. Freshmen do not register for courses until they arrive on campus and after they have seen an adviser. The adviser will contact him in the couple of weeks before arrival for S to set up an appointment. I'd be very leery of my S choosing his classes with no input from an adviser.</p>

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<p>Son's state school has a one day orientation in early August determined by your school. They don't do registration and class scheduling then. That is done earlier at a meeting one on one with an advisor. Son was able to register early (starting at the end of March)for some reason (AP scores?? I don't know) so had his pick of classes. Regular registration opened at the beginning of May for most.<br>
If someone lives more than 3 hours away from school they didn't have to come meet with the advisor at school, they could do the advisement over the phone.
So we just have to get back up there for the one day orientation, about 2 weeks before move in.</p>

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<p>There were some very interesting incidents at orientation.</p>

<p>While dining during a break, my mother overheard a boy complain about the hills on campus. He said "No way is this going to work! I am not going up and down these hills everyday!", which makes me wonder if he had visited the campus. I have to admit, the hills were atrocious, and I am glad that I won't be climbing them daily!</p>

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<p>I think it's important to remember that during any Orientation period, you're brand new. You don't know anybody; you don't have any friends yet; you are evaluating people based on silly stereotypes and on how they look: "nerdy," "preppy," etc.</p>

<p>I was more than lucky to meet my best friend ever on the second day of Orientation or thereabouts, but I think that the first few weeks of college-- maybe the first year of college-- for anybody anywhere is difficult and trying, for the most part.</p>

<p>To think you're done adjusting after Orientation just doesn't make sense.</p>

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<p>

*At ours, too. This one is from earlier today, or late in the night of the second day of orientation session I am currently "attending" - Midwest Daughter was not involved ;) *</p>

<p>Campus Police Report email summary, July 10</p>

<p>2400 BLOCK (street name left out) </p>

<p>Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol by a Minor / Possession of Marijuana / Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor / Possession of More than One Valid Driver's License: A silver Mercedes was observed committing several traffic violations while traveling north on (street name). During the traffic investigation, in plain view, the officer saw a clear plastic baggie that contained suspected marijuana lying on the rear floorboard of the vehicle. As soon as the officer discovered the marijuana, the officer detected a moderate odor of alcohol and burned marijuana on the driver's breath as well as inside the passenger compartment. As the investigation continued, the officer had all of the occupants exit the vehicle and soon discovered all of the subjects were attending freshman orientation. The officer also discovered all of the students were under the legal age of 21. The officer learned that the students had been attending a fraternity party and were returning to the dormitory. The driver was issued a field release citation for Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol by a Minor and Possession of Marijuana. The passengers were all issued field release citations for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor. Occurred on: 7-10-08, at 2:30 AM.</p>

<p>*...the incoming freshmen, they will be meeting with the Dean of Students prior to the start of the fall semester in addition to meeting the local judge.
*</p>

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<p>I find it interesting the differences in orientation from one school to another. I find that they vary drastically. Some schools make a big thing of orientation and others don't. One school that my S's friend went to does a whole adventure camp for the kids, where they camp out. Another one has the kids and parents sleeping in seperate dorms and doing bonding activities like lip sync contests and lots of other activities. Still yet another just had the kids up for one day and they barely interacted at all it was more about getting schedules set and meeting with advisors. </p>

<p>My S's school had them in groups for like 2-3 days only, going around from one thing to another and eating together while the parents had their own set of activites geared toward the transition of their children leaving for school plus brunches, lunches and the like. They even had babysitting for younger siblings.</p>

<p>Since they vary so much from school to school, it must make a difference on how the school is viewed. I would imagine that the more involved the student becomes with the school and other students, the more they would look forward to the start of the school year.</p>

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<p>Our orientation at my LAC is ridiculously different than what friends had at their State U.'s. We have an optional summer orientation, where you can find out your schedule and simply meet people and get acquainted with the school, but we also have a mandatory week-long fall orientation before school starts. It gets pretty ridiculous and repetitive after awhile, especially considering how much time is involved in it (usualy 9AM-10PM every day), but it really gives you a chance to learn about what the school has to offer along with meet a ton of new people. I had so many new friends by the end of that week, and the core group of people that were in my orientation group all became good friends.</p>

<p>And germoon, I can sort of relate to your posts. Almost all of my close friends did not drink in HS, but we all have gone to college and adjusted. It was kind of a culture shock at first, especially since my HS had a much lower drinking percentage than any other (even as a large public). It turned out fine though, and I really love everyone I have met at my school.</p>

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<p>my oldest brother hated orientation, came home saying he didnt want to go to UMass. he was being compeltely serious and my mom said you at least have to go for a year because its already paid for. she told him to do well and transfer and thats exactly what he did.</p>

<p>hes more of a city kid. and being from jersey in a school full of MA kids that all knew eachtoehr and (mostly) werent into the city lifestyle like him was tough. he said he still partied, had fun. but knew from the second his orientation at his second school started that he was finally in the right place</p>

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<p>erhswimming- I second the culture shock.</p>

<p>I think that was the number one thing that I really wasn't prepared for at orientation, and at first it really made me feel like I didn't fit in and that I was in the wrong place. I actually almost started to cry at one of the activities because I didn't have anyone to hang out with, until I realized that there were many other people like myself pretty much alone, and the ones that weren't were the kind of overtly social people that I'm not. </p>

<p>Once I was there a bit more, I got to know a lot of people better and made some good acquaintances and even friends, who were quite likeminded and very down to earth and friendly. The sensation of not fitting in really wound up to be, more than anything, a by-product of the aforementioned utter culture shock. I come from a smallish village (that's what the actual classification of my hometown is), and suddenly I was meeting types of people I'd never even encountered before. It was funny, because I had two roommates for orientation. One was the daughter of a NYC investment banker who had arrived in a convertible, and the other was a middle class, popular student from another smallish village close to my area, who was in the boat of having some parental contribution and some financial aid. Then you had me, from a poor family, there entirely on scholarships and financial aid. It was a very diverse room, but we actually all got along really well and everyone was really friendly.</p>

<p>Still, once I had made some friends I was still in worried that I wouldn't fit in, and also concerned that I wouldn't be challenged. Then I met with one of my department's advisors, and she found out that I hadn't applied for the honors college due to a miscommunication. Then, without me so much as asking, she contacted the director of the program, who then met with me personally and waived my application, admitting me to the program.</p>

<p>Since that last event, I've had no doubts about my prospective school, because I saw how absolutely and utterly amazing the staff was to their students. I felt like they actually cared when they didn't even know me, which was an experience that my brother never had at his State U, plus the orientation staff was wonderful and put on an absolutely amazing, hilarious, and heartfelt series of skits that rang completely true for me.</p>

<p>To sum it up, my experience at orientation was somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster, where I went from feeling excited, to incredibly disappointed, to being utterly impressed beyond my wildest hopes by my school.</p>

<p>However, to those that hated their orientation, when I was at pretty much my orientation low, I spoke to one of the student orientation leaders, who happened to be a student in my prospective major (which in the incoming freshman class consists of only 23 students). She said that if I spoke to most of the other orientation leaders, that they would probably all tell me that they hated their orientations. Apparently, everybody experiences this impression of cliqueyness during the orientation that pretty much disappears on campus, where the student body is very socially fluid and open, because the students during orientation are still in high school mode. Also, the small selection of students you meet at orientation, especially if the sessions are arranged by major, is in no way entirely representative of everyone on campus.</p>

<p>So from what I hear, it's completely normal for some students to HATE orientation and then love the school, or vice versa. </p>

<p>Oh, I personally enjoyed the orientation being earlier in the summer, because being on campus for a few days gave me a way better impression of what I needed and what I really didn't. For instance, those beds are pretty awful, so I have determined that I'll probably need a better mattress pad than I was intending to purchase. :P </p>

<p>Sorry for the very long-winded post.</p>

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<p>I have a hard time believing orientations are for the students. At least in my (admittedly narrow) experience, it's for the parents.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I have a hard time believing orientations are for the students. At least in my (admittedly narrow) experience, it's for the parents.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Not at my daughter's school. They schedule a big parents event late morning on the first day specifically to get the moms and dads out of their kid's hair while they are getting set up in the dorm with their roommate. Then, they invite parents to leave at 5:00 pm sharp the first day.</p>

<p>They are very clear with the parents to let the kids figure college out for themselves.</p>

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<p>Okay well put us down as parents who hate summer orientation... living in the middle of the country, we've now had to jet to the west coast LAST summer for orientation mid-summer, to our son's private big university and both parents went... and now THIS summer to the east coast for our daughter's private semi-big university and we could only afford one parent... </p>

<p>Son loved orientation and seemed to set the tone for a great freshman year. Daughter not particularly enjoying her orientation... but one thing in particular really bothered me. At one point, when the orientation advisers had the kids separated from the parents (which was most of the time), they were discussing campus life and they gleefully tossed handful after handful of condoms at the kids, laughing about how they were giving out gifts. </p>

<p>Now we all know that student health centers give out condoms. But to me, this was highly offensive. Does anyone think indiscriminate hooking up is a healthy thing to encourage in young adults (or in many cases 17 year olds) as just another fun college activity? Sex has a lot of ramifications other than those "covered" by a condom (forgive my imagery there)... and passing out condoms like they're free packs of chewing gum kind of makes me sick. Plus, my daughter, who's a cute girl, reported feeling very uncomfortable as some of the guys in the audience were grabbing the condoms and leering at her. She also said some of the kids were talking about using them to "hook up" tonight (in other words, AT orientation). </p>

<p>What do you all think of the brain surgeon who thought of this "gift" for the kids? I don't think too much of him/her.</p>

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<p>Overall, my orientation got me even more excited about going to school. I got a major I like, all the staff I came in contact with were nice and had awesome personalities. The people all came from different backgrounds and had different points of views, but everyone got along great no matter what gender, ethnicity, or orientation you were. It was suprising. I am used to school being where if you are different people will talk crap about you and not accept you for yourself. Its nice seeing so many people that are very different, yet very much the same come together and not talk down on one another. I love the school and the girls are HOT!</p>

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<p>comomof3: Safety first. If your daughter is going to college, she is going to need to fend for herself and let the guys know. Make them feel stupid. throw the condoms in their face. I think that its kind of funny that they did that. Do I think its right? Absolutely not; especially at orientation.</p>