@PhotographerMom Yes we did. I sent inquires to several girls-only schools early last Summer and Stoneleigh-Burnham was one of them.
We chose Grier over similar schools because they showed us very high interest. 
@CLNMOM, I hope you will end up with a good decision!
Itâs hard for me to move on, after investing so much personally. I decided to think that only those two schools really learned who she really is despite her uniqueness. Because thinking that she wasnât good enough is ⊠harder to accept.
I learned is that too much uniqueness is not good. Almost every interviewer told me how really unique she is, never seen anyone like her. Look what it did!
@SculptorDad The way in which you described the personal acceptance letter from Grier is what would have sold it for me. Seeing that the school recognized your daughterâs unique background, acknowledged it, and admitted her because of it screams that Grier is the place she belongs even if she got off every waitlist in the known universe.
I applied to 5 schools, got into 2 and waitlisted at 3. I immediately went with one of the schools that loved me even though it was my 3rd choice. I didnât want to commit to a school and hold out for getting off the waitlist at another school. I think loving the school that loves you is really important!
Even if you get into every school to which you apply, loving the school that loves you can make the BS experience so amazing. My youngest was accepted everywhere he applied and chose the least âprestigiousâ school of the bunch because he felt so âseenâ and beloved by them. It has turned out to be the best decision weâve ever made.
On the flip side, my eldest was also accepted everywhere (different list), but he did not choose the school that loved him the most. He has had a mediocre, at best, experience.
How can you tell who doesnât love you enough? We have gotten a lot of love from 2 schools during the whole process (hugs and notes from AOs) and another school with a more reserved AO has also been enthusiastic behind the scenes and made a personal call to DD after she was admitted. Probably these 3 love her enough, right?
It sounds like youâve found a great fit for your daughter at Grier for four years that is also affordable. It sounds small and nurturing. Clearly, they appreciate what she has to offer to their community. I say take it and donât look back. Iâm sure she will be very happy there!
@mass2020mom, the expression about going with the school that loves you is primarily about choosing to attend a school that accepted you, rather than holding out (usually very faint) hope of getting in somewhere else off the waitlist. I wouldnât really factor in the demeanor of the AO in deciding between multiple schools that admitted your child, sheâs unlikely to have any continued contact with AOs once she actually is at the school.
Thanks @soxmom, that is what I thought but then one of the posts today had me wondering whether there was more to it!
^How can you tell who doesnât love you enough? ^
If your lover proposes someone else instead of you.
Exactly, DS never saw his AO again for whole year (close to it anyway.) Itâs a shame since the AO was very nice and reached out to us. We saw him at revisit day and that was it. He tried to reach out to DS and DS went to see him in the fall but he was not there at agreed time so DS never went back. I think AO got busy again in the fall/winter.
All the schools admitted you (with a sufficient FA) love you. The ones waitlisted you donât.
Picking
Interesting about no contact with AO after starting school. I keep in close contact with the AO at youngest childâs school and he sees her regularly. When I was in BS, I requested my AO as my advisor my second year. Weâre still close, 30 years later. She even came to my wedding.
âIâm going in to take a nap. When I wake , if the 's on the table, Iâll know I have a . If it isnât, Iâll know I donât.â
I still trying to come to terms with the lack of love for my DS as well. He applied to many schools(cast a wide net and all). His SSAT scores were 82V 87Q 99R. His grades are approximately a 3.6. He plays a sport and a musical instrument, was a part of the Duke TiP program and is an URM. Even the schools that we thought were his safety school either wait listed him or rejected him. Without knowing what went wrong, it is hard for me to move on. He has moved on and reminded me that âitâs just high schoolâ. Will the schools tell you why?
@queenmother, the schools wonât tell you why except in some special cases including that you are a ties-maintaining legacy and etc. If they havenât told you already, they probably wonât. I am sorry to hear that. But we still have to move on however hard it is.
I love The Godfather⊠and I never miss an opportunity to borrow a line myself
@queenmother⊠As sad as this may sound⊠not likely. Unfortunately, youâll probably get the standard weasel answer which will sound a lot like the WL letter you already have⊠which will probably make you feel worse.
Unless⊠youâve had contact with a friendly/ caring AO who might share more. Sometimes, after interviews and before apps, parents call to ask questions and itâs possible to hit it off with an AO just by chatting or whatever. If youâve had that kind of interaction with someone or a good vibe about someone you met on the AO team⊠give them a call or send an email down the road and see what they say after the dust settles. I think it really depends on the school/ AO.
My heart goes out to you and if youâve decided to stay on a WL, I really hope you receive good news.
@queenmother As you are looking for answers, you may want to consider that his teacher recommendations might not have been completely favorable. It is possible that your sonâs problems earlier in the current school year might have had some relationship to his admissions decisions.
Most teachers are not going to trash their students unnecessarily, but many do take their recommendation duties very seriously, and truly try to give the schools a complete picture of what they would be getting as far as a student is concerned. A teacher could like him and his attitude, think he has real potential, and have given him a good grade, but still include something like âneeds improvement or organizational skills.â
While he may have been able to pull his grades up by the end of the semester, I can still see a scenario where the initiation of the issue, itself, led to some comments in the teacher recommendations that caused schools to conclude he was not ready to be able to self-motivate and be responsible for his own academic performance, which is an expected skill in most selective boarding schools.
@EarlyMTNester, I have had the same thought that maybe his teacher recommendations were not good. He has ADHD so organization is not his strongest skill. In my parent statement when it asked about weakness, I said that his weakness was his organization skill. I wanted to be honest. He takes math and english at the high school (he takes all his other classes at his middle school) so the teachers who wrote his recommendations did not know him at all. But, If the recommendations were that bad then why did some schools wait list him. Maybe the schools that waitlisted him did not reject anyone. I am so confused. Itâs hard to decide if he should apply again next year because we donât know what the problem was this year.
@queenmother maybe you should look at schools that have learning centers. Off the top of my head, Christchurch in VA and Pomfret in CT have help in that area. I am sure there are many more all over the country. Some schools will help a student if they are struggling once they are admitted, but would prefer not to accept a student that already has those issues. In other words, maybe you were too honest with some of those schools. If you really want boarding, I would look for schools that have resources available and list them on their web site. Boarding school review also allows you to search for those schools.