Overbearing mother in college selection

<p>Just read this - and I don’t see bitter parents at all. Just experienced ones. It’s no fun being criticized, I know, but that doesn’t mean the people criticizing you are bitter or have an agenda other than wanting you to understand the realities of college financing. </p>

<p>You still haven’t articulated why you dislike FSU/UCF/USF, however, or why LSU/UAT are better.</p>

<p>Also, how exactly will you pay for OOS yourself? <em>Wanting</em> something and actually achieving it are 2 different things. What’s the plan here?</p>

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<p>Seems like other drama in your house is preventing both you and your mother from clearly and rationally discussing what really matters – the price limit that she will contribute toward your college costs. Once you have that, you can determine what colleges can be realistically affordable. Without it, you are just guessing.</p>

<p>Wait. My understanding is that the $110K figure was for the value of the family home, not income. Most colleges will not count that asset, the family home, against you. I do not see any information on family income. If it is low, and even if it is as high as $6oK or so, many small privates out of state and indeed around the country will give substantial financial aid. I hope this picture can be clarified. (And the tone of responses to posters mystifies me.)</p>

<p>Didn’t she say income was $150K or so (or was that another thread)?</p>

<p>Also, generally, those schools with very good fin aid are also the hardest to get in to.</p>

<p>No, there are many schools that are not highly selective, in fact schools along a whole spectrum of selectivity, that give excellent aid. I speak from personal experience.</p>

<p>Alisjamined, I am so so sorry for the tone of the responses to your question. Please don’t let this forum discourage you. There is also some misinformation. Feel free to PM me if you are able.</p>

<p>Folks, this is a young person. Did you have dreams when you were young? Go easy for heaven’s sake. And the prospect of going out of state may not mean no aid.</p>

<p>Thank you compmom! The household income is $115-120k. UCF has really never been an option for me it is so close to home and I just have no interest in the school. My brother goes to FSU-- don’t get me wrong I like the school but a) my mom wants me to live with my brother if I go which is not ideal whatsoever when you examine his lifestyle b) Tallahasse is not the best place in the world…insane amounts of homelessness which accompanies crime. I have never mentioned USF because it is a neutral school. I have not visited the campus, though I do know it has a nice health sciences program.</p>

<p>Non-selective or somewhat-selective schools that give excellent aid to a family with income around 150K? Please tell me about those. Especially if you know from personal experience.</p>

<p>As for the OP, dreams are great, but you should be able to articulate the reasons for them. Ergo, why LSU/UAT but not FSU/UCF/USF.</p>

<p>Household income is not 150k lol I wish!</p>

<p>OK, visit USF. And New College. Maybe the publics in Miami as well.</p>

<p>Okay so income is indeed a bit high for many schools to give aid. The post I read gave the value of the house, not the income. Ivies will give aid at that level. For a family with a house worth that amount but lower income, there are few limits on aid but alijasmined, unfortunately you do not fit that picture so you are unfortunately going to need to go where your mother agrees, unless you assume huge, life-crippling loans.</p>

<p>I would try to visit any and all colleges or universities that are possible for you financially (or, should I say, your family). You could also check out any agreements with public universities in other states, especially for certain majors. With a sibling in college, even at your family’s income level, you may get some aid so do the calculators on the school websites.</p>

<p>Try to keep your dreams alive while also accepting what has to be. It is hard to realize how long and flexible life really is. You will find a place that will help you accomplish your goals and hopefully without the debt of so many others. Good luck!</p>

<p>I don’t think I’m bitter about these things. Just trying to give you a reality check. You will be 18 soon, most likely, and your mother doesn’t have to give you ANYTHING after that time Food, shelter, clothes, school, nope. You don’t have to take anything from her either or do as she says, as you are an adult either. But what you don’t seem to understand is that if an adult, your mom, or say I am willing to pay $5K or whatever for X, that doesn’t mean I will just turn the $5K over to you for Y simply because you prefer Y over X.</p>

<p>This seems to be a common fallacy in kids’ thinking. I’ve heard it so many times. Parents willing to break their backs and banks for something, the kid doesn’t want to do the something but wants the money and support. Doesn’t work that way. Mom is perfectly within her rights to say she’ll pay $5K or whatever towards this or that school, and that you need to use the Prepays in place as well as the BF, and no, she isn’t going to hand over the $5K for you to go to Alabama. That’s her choice.</p>

<p>You can discuss the situation with her and apply to other schools so the choices are on the table and perhaps she’ll change her mind, but there are parents who say kid goes to state U or comm college, anywhere else, parent won’t pay. Parent’s money. Parent’s choice.</p>

<p>Just some things

  • with my AP/DE credits I will most likely be able to complete school in 3 years
  • I crossed UA off my list and semi-compromised to only apply to LSU
  • I am not limiting myself to OOS schools I am just exploring my options</p>

<p>You need to know how much your Florida Pre-paid will cover - 2+2? just tuition? tuition and first year dorm? All very common choices. If you don’t use the Florida pre-paid at a Florida public school, you lose a lot of the benefit as they just give a small portion toward either a private school in Florida or toward any other school’s tuition.</p>

<p>Florida tuition and room/board is about $16000. You’re at the second level for BF, so about $2300/yr. Then subtract your pre-paid amount. Will any other schools come close? Ole Miss or Miss State might. You can compare.</p>

<p>You originally listed FAMU. You might get a full scholarship there. Quite a few kids in my kids’ class got merit money from FAU, and they were not top students. You have a lot of Florida choices.</p>

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<p>??? There are no bitter parents here. Are you suggesting that when adults give you “straight-talk,” you consider that to be bitter ???</p>

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<p>Oh, do you have a couple hundred thousand saved somewhere? if not, then you wont have the means to pay for the bulk yourself. Your mom would never co-sign those loans. YOU can only borrow $5,500 for frosh year. That wouldnt even pay a drop of OOS costs.</p>

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…tuition + local fees, tuition + local fees + two year dormitory…Find out your plan. </p>

<p>Talk. To. Your. Mom. </p>

<p>You can apply and be accepted anywhere you want, but come Fall, the game’ll be humming a different tune. </p>

<p>I will have approx $12,000 saved with prepaid when I go to school and BF covers like $3000/yr.</p>

<p>I think it’s a pretty common rule that parents tell their kids to pick an instate school to keep costs down. We have told our kids the same thing unless they can prove that OOS will not cost more. Typically it takes top grades/ACT/SAT scores for that to even be a possibility.
Having graduated from high school in Florida, I am well aware of all the options you have for going instate over someone who might live in New Hampshire or some other small state. You really do have a lot to be thankful for-my girlfriend who is in the same income bracket as your mom only will pay for community college. I think it’s great that your mom is willing to pay for the whole dorm/living away from home experience.</p>

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<p>FAMU’s full scholarship threshold is a 3.50 unweighted HS GPA and 27 ACT or 1800 SAT.
<a href=“http://www.famu.edu/index.cfm?Scholarships&DistinguishedScholarsAwardScholarship”>Page Not Found;
But FAMU is in Tallahassee.</p>

<p>@alijasmined‌
I too see no bitter parents in this thread. I do see an adolescent with a sense of entitlement and with a lot to learn about reality.</p>

<p>It may be the best education for you is to take your $12,000 and get a degree on your own. Start at a local community college and transfer to a state school, working part-time and summer jobs to pay for it. You would be surprised how that’s the only option for so many in your shoes.</p>

<p>Count your blessings - you have a mother, and a mother who cares about you.</p>