<p>Is it in finance? Then probably yes. </p>
<p>Otherwise, no.</p>
<p>I don’t understand that comment at all, NavalTradition. What does the content of the internship have to do with anything?</p>
<p>PG: you have twins. If your other kid doesn’t get a paid internship, what would you do? Would you be inclined to pay for the other kid’s unpaid internship, and not do anything for the one with well paid internship? What about a bit more grey…what if the other kid got a not so well paid internship, would you subsidize that one, but not the well paid one?</p>
<p>I am asking because D1, as a math/econ major, she always got well paid internships. D2, as a philosophy major (pre-law), may end up going to another city (DC) this summer for a not so well paid internship. As a parent, I don’t think I would want her to live in a dump or not have enough spending money to eat or to go out.</p>
<p>That’s precisely part of what I’m grappling with - not knowing where the other kid will land and what support the other kid might need and making it all “fair,” keeping in mind that fair is not always the same as precisely equal.</p>
<p>When you’re dealing with more than one child (twins or not) this can be difficult. If Child A gets some funding that provides just enough to make it, and then Child B gets no funding, do you provide Child B with the exact amount that Child A received to “just make it”? Hmmm. </p>
<p>Since both kids have been saving, maybe a possible solution is to let Child B use some savings to cover the unfunded internship…but then upon graduation gift both with identical amounts???</p>
<p>PG -</p>
<p>You have stated that both of your kids already have investment accounts. What about letting them use the money that they already have to pay for summer expenses? The Bank if Mom and Dad can pick up reasonable college expenses, but they can be on their own for the summers and any college term expenses that the board of BOMAD consider to be extras.</p>
<p>just wanted to add…</p>
<p>I think it’s important when you have more than one child that the kids know that you’re not going to supplement the “poor child” so that he/she can have what the other child is earning. I think the goal is to have each child “own” his career choices, which means accepting that one route may pay more and one route may pay less. Also, I think it sends a bad message to the child who is earning money.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that that’s what you intend to do. My point is that if one’s major only leads to unfunded internships then that suggests (to me) a lower paying career. That’s cool, but the child must own that…from the get go.</p>
<p>Because I don’t want them touching their long-term investment accounts. That money I see as money for them to touch AFTER graduation, if they want to buy furniture, a condo, whatever.</p>
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<p>Totally get that. In this case, though, that’s not what I’m talking about.<br>
To make it clear, I’ll use Kid H to mean the kid with the potential higher-paying career and Kid L to mean the kid with the potential lower-paying career. Both Kids H and L own their choices, and that’s fine. Both are good students, conscientious, neither are spendy, blah blah blah. So this isn’t a case of one kid who wants to live high on the hog and the other kid is modest. Both kids are modest in this regard. </p>
<p>I’m talking about setting strategy for Kid H with the internship in NYC, without knowing what Kid L will do over the summer, and knowing that there is a high probability that Kid L will have a low paying or unpaid internship, and / or might live at home for said internship.</p>
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<p>So why not then give them both start-up funds post-graduation? Or wait until they’re ready to buy real estate (probably not immediately after graduation), and then be willing to give them each an equal amount towards a down payment?</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, you and your husband can afford to help and you have clearly raised responsible children who won’t be using their money in strip clubs in NYC. There is no reason for you not to pay the living expenses. Plus, depending on what living situation is chosen, it may be a lot easier and more practical for adults to deal with that end of things.</p>
<p>Because I’m not interested in GIVING them extra start-up funds post-graduation. They have different amounts saved in their long-term investment accounts (one worked during high school and the other didn’t; one worked a summer job in college and the other didn’t) and I’m not interested in equalizing that. </p>
<p>I’m asking about the here and now of “subsidizing” summer room and board at an internship the way I “subsidize” regular-year-room and board, and how to keep it fair if one kid might require a subsidy due to an unpaid internship and the other might not.</p>
<p>So, what’s your possible plan? </p>
<p>Will you figure out how much Child H will have to spend on living expenses from the paid gig…and then give Child L the same amount so they’re both budgeting with the same amount?</p>
<p>PG, YES.</p>
<p>If it’s a good opportunity, already has some perks (being paid), and will be beneficial to their career of choice, definite YES if we can afford it. We are supporting this for my S who had no interest in study abroad, but wanted to do an out of state urban student teaching experience - we are supporting him AND the experience it will give him. </p>
<p>I don’t worry about making things “even” with other sibs. I also don’t worry about other sibs looking for opportunities solely based on the fact that they can cash in on our assistance. What’s good for one, or reasonable for one, doesn’t have to be extended automatically to the others. We would just consider each on a personal basis. </p>
<p>Heading into senior year is the home stretch. We would consider this one of our last shows of support for his career. (not last, but you know, “you’re almost done” mentality)</p>
<p>PG…</p>
<p>What would you have done if TwinBoy had gotten a full ride athletic scholarship to NU? Would you have let him have his college fund for some other future use? If so, then it seems the fair thing to do is to treat the paid gig that way…if you’re going to fund Child L’s internship expenses.</p>
<p>Just a thought.</p>
<p>No - my decision point here isn’t “what will I give Child L,” it’s “should I and if so how much should I subsidize Child H.” In other words, what’s an organizing principle that is fair.</p>
<p>Here’s what I mean. If the organizing principle is “we will pay for your tuition, room/board, books and travel expenses,” it’s a fair organizing principle even if one kid goes to a cheaper school or another kid has higher travel expenses. In my case, one twin goes to school nearby, the other needs a plane ride back and forth. I don’t “equalize” by giving the nearby kid the cash equivalent of the plane rides. We can all agree that it’s a fair organizing principle.</p>
<p>I guess what I’m trying to say is - what’s my organizing principle? Do I pay for your room and board over the summer (assuming you’re productive) regardless? Do I only pay for it if you make nothing? Do I pay for x% of it, or give you $XXX towards it?</p>
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<p>I would have realized I was dreaming, since that would have never happened 
I don’t know.</p>
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How about “if you are doing something valuable to your education and/or society, I will pay your living expenses over the summer, whether at home or elsewhere, and you can pay for your own entertainment and incidentals?”</p>
<p>As an organizing principal, how about, “As a family we are committed to helping you maximize your education, and take advantage of valuable opportunities as they arise. We are so proud that you’ve found a paying internship. If you find you are having trouble making ends meet on the salary they are paying you, please let us know how we can help”.</p>
<p>Why do you feel the need to subsidize, unless it’s to make sure your kid is living higher on the hog than his/her colleagues at work, many of whom will be living on precisely the salary- and some of whom need to bank a portion to cover the self-help of their financial aid???</p>
<p>We paid for a high deductible health insurance policy for the first year of work after college graduation for one kid- it was a fantastic professional opportunity and he carefully lived within his means in a very expensive city, but since there was a waiting period to qualify for insurance, we didn’t want him to be tempted to go without. We didn’t need to do that for the others, whose jobs covered them immediately. I didn’t worry about it being “fair”- it’s just the way it worked out (and buying a stand-alone major medical policy for a healthy 22 year old was cheaper at the time than putting him on the “family” policy. I realize the economics are likely to be different now.)</p>
<p>Okay, it’s an interesting question, and I’m not sure there needs to be a logical answer. Our older son had well paid internships and simply didn’t need any subsidy from us to pay for housing or food, so we didn’t. Younger son is in a different field with much more iffy prospects. Summer after freshman year he took an intensive summer course in Arabic, which we paid for. So we covered housing and food that summer completely, on the theory that what he was doing was worthwhile. Second summer he worked at Tufts - the job is not related to his major, but did give him some skills that could be useful for his resume. He had to pay $100 a month for his dorm room and he got one meal a day. He was making a little over minimum wage. We told him we’d pay the $100, and what those two meals a day would cost at home - so not enough for going out to eat every night, but some modest amount. He had the same job last summer, but with a promotion which included the housing. We made the same deal with food. I’m not sure he would have been at ramen level without our money, but it did mean he wasn’t pinching pennies. It certainly didn’t bring him up to the level of spending his older brother could have without any cash from us. We haven’t tried to articulate any rules and have instead just done what felt right. I want him to have a bit of walking around money so he can actually enjoy his summer and see something of Boston, but I don’t want him to feel like we are a bottomless ATM machine.</p>