<p>The parent is very worried about the state of the world and is adamant that the child studies something "pre-professional" in college. The child is probably best suited to business. The child is looking at several colleges which are unsuitable in the parent's eyes because either they don't have a business major or it's competitive entry to the b-school and child has a history of not doing well in things which are criteria to entry. He wants to do business, he just happens to like several schools which do not have guaranteed entry into business or don't have business period.</p>
<p>We have hired a private counselor. She's encouraging him to follow his muse. My nightmare scenario is that he majors in something in the liberal arts (and he doesn't even have a passion for anything there), spends a miserable year in the basement and then we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on grad school when he could have gotten a job right out of college like his sister.</p>
<p>No, law school is my worst nightmare. Hundreds of thousands of dollars and then no job.</p>
<p>We're not going to get a penny of financial aid from any of the schools he wants to go by the way. Should we just make him take loans if he doesn't do something which we think is reasonable?</p>
<p>Hmmm. It sounds like the counselor you hired has listened to both “sides” and given you advice but that you don’t like it. I’d follow the counselor’s advice, but it’s not my money.</p>
<p>What do you mean by a school that “guarantees entry to business”?</p>
<p>It’s not our first counselor either but maybe the last one in our state that will work with us. She’s neutral between going to school for 4 years or going to school for 6 or 7 years which I am not. I can listen to her advice on other things but not that.</p>
<p>At some colleges you get accepted into the b-school (NYU, Carnegie-Mellon) or you get accepted into the university and can major in anything you want (Wash U). Other schools have a competitive process in the 2nd or 3rd year where they deny some students entry into the business major (Michigan, UVA).</p>
<p>I’m confused. Business would be a “pre-professional” course of study. Does this student want to study business or does the parent want the student to study business. What does the student want to study? Most business majors eventually get MBAs so I’m not sure it matters much where the undergraduate comes from and whether it’s a direct enter business school or competitive. </p>
<p>Finally for most “professional degrees” like law, medicine, business it doesn’t matter a bit what your undergraduate degree is…only your GPA and how you do on the entrance exams (LSAT, GMAT, MCAT), so what are you asking OP?</p>
<p>Why on earth are you expecting a 17 or 18 year-old to make a life-long career decision and threatening punative measures if you don’t like his life-long decision? </p>
<p>I’d suggest just letting him find a college where he is comfortable and intellectually engaged. He might change his mind five times between now and the deadline for major declaration. And, who knows, he might end up with one you support. </p>
<p>If not, well, cross that bridge when you get to it. (Probably 2015)</p>
<p>Easy to say up front that you will only pay for four years of undergrad, and that grad/law school is on his own dime. “Making” him take out loans only works up to the Stafford limits, after which he’ll need a cosigner–namely, you. Taking on tens of thousands of dollars in nondischargeable debt could end up hurting you even more than him.</p>
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<p>If he also likes some schools that have direct entry, then what’s the problem? Until he has admission decisions in hand, it’s all up in the air. And until he actually declares a major and it sticks, it’s also all up in the air. </p>
<p>It sounds like communications are really broken between the adults and offspring, but if there’s a window to reach through, meet him half way. Take a look at those schools that he likes, the ones without business majors. See what kinds of placement/internships/externships they offer for a variety of different majors. Then ask your S to brainstorm with you about possibilities for different outcomes. If he’s not admitted to a business program, what paths is he considering? If he goes to a school with no business major, what jobs/internships/summer opportunities will he get to round out his resume? You’re not trying to convince him here: you’re using this as an opportunity for him to be flexible in his planning.</p>
<p>So you think we should just shut up and pay the bills? Let him go wherever he wants and take whatever he wants and then just pay for 2 or 3 more years? </p>
<p>And the problems with previous counselors were not because of this issue.</p>
<p>We had similar conversations in our household; DH is very logical, career-oriented and wanted kiddo to follow in his footsteps. Meanwhile, our son has a wide, eclectic range of interests and did not want to commit himself to one path. We, too, get no FA. Ultimate decision: support our DS through college. He chose a LAC; it makes my husband crazy sometimes, but he also sees how much kiddo loves school and how enriched he is by his time there (now a sophomore).
The deal, however, is that we will not pay for graduate school should he decide to go; he will have to take out loans, work, whatever. A compromise we are all happy with.</p>
<p>His top choices either don’t have business or it’s very competitive entry. He wants to apply ED to one of them. I looked at their programs and there wouldn’t be a good major for him. He likes those schools because they’re prestigious, have good sports and are in attractive locations.</p>
<p>Siemom - our son doesn’t even have eclectic interests. I think he would end up studying economics instead of business. Something which will be less interesting to him, which he will not do as well in and will not be as useful.</p>
<p>Like it’s recommended over and over again on this forum (and I really agree with this), figure out how much you would be willing to pay and let him figure out the rest. It’s KINDER than choosing his life for him in exchange for giving him money.</p>
<p>I have friends who are putting themselves through grad/law school with no parental help (their choice - they want to do it on their own, I would too if I go back to school).</p>
<p>I was a history major in college, and I have a great job that pays the bills and even allows for extras, right out of undergrag. I am fully self-supporting. It’s not in the history field, but I didn’t plan to go into that field anyways (I did go to a top school, and I am sure that helped, but still). </p>
<p>Whether you pay or not pay is your choice, but using that money as a weapon to decide someone else’s life is not OK. Some people want to make a lot of money. Some want a job that they love, even if it’s not going to make them rich. Some won’t even make those decisions until they actually start working. The bottom line is it’s not your decision. Also, remember, if you choose his career, and it makes him miserable, he will blame you and rightfully so.</p>
Our son attends an expensive school. One day during his freshman year he told us he wanted to switch his major to Theatre. We couldn’t justify $55K per year for a Theatre degree. So, we asked him to:
Double major (Theatre + something we could justify)
Minor in Theatre (with major in something we could justify)
Transfer to a cheap state school for his Theatre degree</p>
<p>It all worked out for us. Why? Because a kid’s major is NOT a black or white decision. There are choices, options, and grey areas. </p>
<p>I think the healthiest thing to do is remember that it’s not fair to lock a kid into a major or career he chooses in high school. He has to work for the next 50 years. Are you prepared to accept 50 years of bitter resentment if he’s miserable because of what you made him do?</p>
<p>Or, are you willing to be flexible and supportive in helping him find his path? </p>
<p>Either way, it will cost you the same amount of money.</p>
<p>Are you sure that he really wants to be a business major? I ask because most business majors I know (I’m a CPA/banker and father of junior business major) picked the school they wanted to attend based primarily upon the strength and reputation of the B-school. In this economic environment, many parents are pushing accounting, finance and engineering as majors where jobs are assured. While there is some (but not absolute) merit to that, if you aren’t interested, you are likely to flunk out of those majors. Is he just trying to “teach you a lesson”?</p>
<p>You are under no obligation to underwrite a four year sleep away college degree in underwater basketweaving because he thinks that’s what he wants to do. He can accomplish that goal with two years at a CC and two years at a local state university. However, I would not “force” a major on him.</p>
<p>Music - why do you think all these things are unknowable? </p>
<p>Collegestudent - he does want to make a lot of money. It’s not like he loves music and I’m making him do business. I’m not choosing his life. If he had a passion for something else that would be different. I just think he’s picking schools based on the wrong criteria.</p>