<p>In fact, my D pointed out to her that she had a new found respect for what it is like for this teacher dealing with kids who are not focused. I added that my D often did remark to me her respect for this teacher who had trouble at times with those kids in her "practices" as she saw how difficult it is to manage such a group.</p>
<p>It is great when students take the challenge directing a production, because they really do acquire a much better understanding and empathy for the challenges that teachers face in directing student productions.</p>
<p>And it's really great that your daughter has explicitly expressed her deeper appreciation of the challenges the teacher faces to the teacher!</p>
<p>(I've had the exact same experience, as several students I had prevously directed grew up and took on directing responsibilities themselves, they spontaneously came to me and said, "You know, I finally understand how hard it is to manage all this energy and keep everyone focused. I now really appreciate all your work over the past years." They also asked for my advice in managing certain difficult situations. I don't know if they actually followed my advice, but I appreciated being asked. It was enormously rewarding for me to feel appreciated and consulted, even though I was very happy to have "grown out of the job" and been replaced by the student directors. It should also be noted that those were not conversations that those young directors would have been comfortable having with me IF they had been surrounded by their youthful casts. They were conversation that they had separately with me.)</p>
<p>Soozie: Originally when this came up last week, I could not see why they would want to disenfranchise a kid who they kinda "need" in their program. She tends to play the lead each year in the musicals since she was in middle school.</p>
<p>It's clear from your descriptions that your daughter has enormous talents and has greatly contributed to the quality of the school's shows. It's also clear that your daughter's teachers recognize her gifts, since they have consistently chosen her for leading roles.</p>
<p>However, I can imagine that teachers would not be happy about having to work with a child or parents who might give off the even the very slightest whiff of an attitude like: You "need" me.</p>
<p>That may very well be why they requested the meeting with you and your daughter.</p>
<p>You could very well be right that there is some resentment on the part of the teachers. </p>
<p>I'm guessing there are some very mixed feelngs and ambivalence involved. </p>
<p>Rightly or wrongly, the teachers may well have been feeling that her attitude was that "Of course, the teachers and school administration will support my enterprise because I've done so many wonderful things for the school in the past."</p>
<p>If I were one of the teachers and I learned that your daughter had "signed contracts" with the students many weeks ago, that she had laid out money for music, etc., but that she had not actually formally requested permission to use the school's facilities for the particular weeks she would need until much later, I would be feeling a bit like: "Hey, this is someone who is just assuming we'll give her the use of the facilities whenever she feels like gettng around to telling us exactly when she wants them."</p>
<p>In retrospect, it seems to me that it might have been more "politic" to deferentially consult the teachers about facility availability on the tentative dates that seemed good to her, many weeks ago, around the same time she was "contracting" with students to perform. </p>
<p>She might have even followed up that deferential consultation with a deferential and appreciative memo recapping their conversation about dates. </p>
<p>Even if she was unsure about exact dates earlier, she might at least have gotten an "agreement in principle" to some tentatively appropriate dates, with the understanding that she would firm up the timetable by some specified date.</p>
<p>For me, the key to heading off this kind of thing is: deference, deference, deference--don't let anyone think you are taking their cooperation and support for granted, ask for it deferentially in a way that does <em>NOT</em> suggest you are <em>ASSUMING</em> you'll get it.</p>
<p>If you wait to ask for facility usage dates until weeks after you've contracted with actors and paid for music, you are putting the teachers in a position where they really feel as though you've taken their support and agreement for granted.</p>
<p>Too late for that now, of course, but live and learn.</p>
<p>At this point, it seems to me that the group might want to draft a contract with the school, a written document spelling out exactly when the group can have the facility for rehearsals and performance, agreeing on a clear set of expectations that the students will take responsibility for leaving the facility the way they found it--cleaning up trash and replacing chairs, explicitly committing to a strike-date/time, agreeing to take responsibility for paying for any damage to equipment, etc.</p>
<p>After drawing it up, perhaps a delegation of students including your daughter could meet with the teachers to work out the exact details of the language so that it's to everyone's satisfaction. Again, the note I would strike is: deference! Say to the teachers, we understand your concerns and we want to make sure we all take responsibility for addressing them. Is there anything else we need to add? It might be helpful to have the GC sit in on that meeting, as he did on Monday's meeting.</p>
<p>Then the contract--maybe better to call it a "memorandum of agreement" than a contract--could be signed by all the students and the teachers and run by the principal for ratification.</p>
<p>And, again, I would suggest great deference in approaching the principal, who is probably feeling a bit insecure in a new job.</p>
<p>My motto is: you are much MORE likely to get cooperation and support for your request to use school facilities if you ask for it very deferentially, as a big favor, as far in advance as possible, expressing your great appreciation for it, and asking if there is anything you can do in return for that cooperation and support.</p>