<p>This really can vary A LOT. My kids had chronic health issues that caused them to have MANY absences (in their respective last year of HS S & D both missed about 1/2 of their class days due to poor health). For S, his teachers were somewhat understanding, though they did force him to take many (up to 4+ exams on any day he returned to school). Nonetheless, he was able to keep up on his coursework and still graduated as a NMF. </p>
<p>D, on the other hand, did NOT have understanding teachers or counselor or administration (there was a change in the head administrator). The docs wrote letters, we provided answers to the questions of the school, but still the HS forced D to leave after her junior year of HS. It took her a while to regain her confidence after that very rough patch with HS.</p>
<p>We have pulled our kids out of school a few times only for doc appts (and trips when they were younger–up to 5th grade for S). Most of the kids’ docs do NOT work outside of school hours (when they do, we do what we can to schedule for those appts). We have never supported absences because of failure to plan and don’t think that is good training for anyone.</p>
<p>In middle school, the coach of the math team would call & plead with S to please come to the math tournaments, even tho he had been ill for the entire week. To not let her or the team down, he would drug himself up with ibuprofen so he could perform, take whatever tests they wanted & then collapse in our car & return to bed. It did not seem like a great idea to us, but he really did want to help and he was NOT contagious. It was a very rough time for all of us.</p>
<p>I’m a big believer in make-up tests being much harder. Students talk, even if it’s unintentional, so specific and general types of questions get out. The only way to prevent that is to make a totally different test. Also, the student has more opportunity to study.</p>
<p>Our DD is gifted AND ADD. Her demanding magnet school was the right place for her, socially and in terms of intellectual interest. But it could be very stressful, and could create issues with sleep (and lack of sleep could make the ADD worse). </p>
<p>We did what we had to do for her. I don’t really care what anyone (especially people who have never had a 2E kid at a school like that) think.</p>
<p>as a student - let your kids do it, honestly some nights you feel so horrible and want to die because of schoolwork. mental health days can work wonders</p>
<p>The parents who would call their kids out of school so that they can avoid a lower grade in a class are the same parents who: Did, or still do, their kid’s projects, write their papers, blame bad grades on the teacher, and complain to the head of the athletic department if their kids don’t make the team or get played enough.</p>
<p>The sad thing is that once those kids go away to college and their parents can’t micro-manage their lives, they fall apart. </p>
<p>It happens all of the time in my children’s highly competitive high school and many of those kids end up coming home after their first semester away.</p>
<p>I think I’ve taken my two children out of school four times when they weren’t sick: one time when my D was in kindergarten so we could see my extended family over Thanksgiving, once to see a World Cup soccer game, one time for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see a professional soccer game, and one day the first week of school to compete in a sectional tennis tournament after my son’s team won state. Each time we told the truth and made arrangements with the school in advance.</p>
<p>I don’t accept the excuse that a student needed a “mental health day.” In school, mental health days are built into the calendar: weekends, holidays and summer vacation. At work, employees also have mental health days; they are called vacation days, and to use sick days to create additional vacation days for one’s self is unethical.</p>
<p>I agree with lovemykids2; parents who teach their children to avoid their responsibilities and to lie to cover it up aren’t doing them any favors. I can’t do anything about them but I can teach my children to do the right thing.</p>
<p>My kids never wanted to miss school - it was too hard to catch up. So short of being really sick - fever and vomiting - they are in school. They have been called out for doctor appointments when necessary - very infrequently.</p>
<p>I’m planning on playing hookey (sp?) with my D for a day in March so we can visit a certain lovely floral festival in a certain lovely mid-Atlantic city. She’ll only be leaving 2 hours early and it’s on a day when they have only non-academic stuff in the afternoon. We’ll tell them it’s a doctor appt though, mwwwaaaahahahaahh.</p>
<p>I would never allow a kid to miss an assignment or a test, but the people who think school is so darned important that when a kid is exhausted and burned out they can’t have a day to figure it out don’t really impress me all that much.</p>
<p>They are the same people I see in my office with their freshman or sophomore in college who has had a complete nervous breakdown at college. Life is life and I don’t really know how we, as a culture, have gotten to this point, but it’s not all that impressive to me, as a mother OR as a professional who works with these kids.</p>
<p>OTOH, for those of you who have only sons, keep in mind that when a girl first starts to get her period, the emotional issues they need to learn to adjust to do not magically happen on a saturday or sunday, nor do the cramps, or the bleed throughs. It’s a whole other world out there for the girls. Just sayin’</p>
<p>I agree with poetgrl. Our HS requires projects/papers to be handed in on the day they are due, regardless of whether or not the student is in class. I let my D take 1 or 2 “mental health” days per year. She never took one when there was a test or assignment due. She just needed a day every once in a while to recharge. Since she worked so hard in HS (she graduated #1), I had no problem allowing her these days.</p>
<p>As for how this affects their college life, D has only missed 1 day of classes and that was do to a sinus infection combined with an allergic reaction to antibiotics.</p>
<p>My S is still in HS and will be given the same privilege.</p>
<p>Let’s be fair here - for a student taking a rigorous schedule, weekends are completely full of extracurriculars and homework. I’ve spent most of my one-day holidays doing homework, too.</p>
<p>I like a lot of the attendance/absence policies that people have presented. My school district’s policy is that work must be turned in within the number of days missed of the day they came back to school. This applies to excused absences. So if a student missed three days due to the flu, s/he would have three days to turn in the makeup work. The district policy for unexcused absences is to give sequential reduced credit for the work not turned in. Unfortunately, this system has two glaring flaws: first of all, parents who write fake excuses (or students who write or call in excuses for themselves) get their students that extra time to turn in work, and second of all, I have yet to have had a teacher who abided by this policy. Teachers will generally accept late work as a result of being absent whenever it can get turned in.</p>
<p>In terms of absences and passing, if a student has more than 10 absences in a single semester, s/he must pass the final exam to pass the class (that is, get a D or higher). That’s seriously the “punishment.”</p>
<p>I called my daughter in for Senior Skip day with the truth. She had Acute Senioritis complicated by Spring Fever. Really, that is what I said on the phone. Nobody at the school blinked. There were no consequences, and it was an excused absence as far as the records showed.</p>
<p>I’m sure this happens at my DS’s HS, but we aren’t doing it. He has migraines, so he misses a chunk of school each time one hits. He hates missing school because it’s so hard to make up the tests and lectures, but he has done it and kept his high GPA. Our school instituted a policy where if a student misses school for dr or Dentist, they must provide note from them. This is probably meant to discourage calling in during day for child to leave early. Since they instituted this I’ve done my best to schedule such appts outside of class time since it’s an added hassle.</p>
<p>Our school also has procedures in place for planned absences (college visits, vacations, etc)–students must have form signed by each teacher for days missed so they can also get work ahead of time. Works out well in my opinion.</p>
<p>On not allowing absences–I had a college professor who would not allow an absence for a test. This was a upper level course (not fresh/soph). My brother was getting married in another state on a day we had a final. I tried to take the test early or late (I was able to do either). Answer was no–miss the test, get a zero. So I had to miss my brother’s wedding for a stupid class. I guess I should have just taken the zero, but seriously that was WRONG. Supposedly it was because he didn’t want anyone sharing test information if taken early/late. I offered to take it just before my plane left and show him the ticket–no. This was before internet/cell phones so really I would have had a hard time cheating–not that I would have done so anyway.</p>
<p>Both my D’s took mental health days - 1 day each semester that they pick way ahead of time. We’ve also pulled them out for Thanksgiving reunions and college visits. We don’t endorse senior skip days or any other mass skip days and our school certainly has it’s share of “entitled” kids whose parents pull them out because of unfinished homework. I never understood that or the message they were giving their kids - actually rewarding them for their procrastination and laziness!</p>
<p>S’s teachers have assignments due and submitted electronically. So I would say unless you have been sick for days you aren’t getting out of that. Early in the year one teacher had a large paper due at 12 midnight and half the class was out that day, literally. Too much procrastination. My S happened to have most of it done(for once) and didn’t even ask. That was the last time anyone had a midnight deadline for a large project. Labs & stuff are due at 11 pm I think.
As far as senior skip day, I believe that is sanctioned now although I could be wrong. If that is the worst thing they do in 4 years, then I think that is ok.
The rule I had is that you never missed school unless you were really sick and had a fever. As a working mom that was by necessity and it stuck as they got older and were driving. Although, if I had seen my kid stressed to the max or some major other issue I would be ok with a mental health day.</p>
<p>Senior skip day was the day of the AP Bio test for my kid, which was Monday after prom. Life is like that sometimes, you just have to make tough choices sometimes. He took the test and did well enough to get college credit. </p>
<p>He took other days off or went in late some days, so no saint here, but he made the right choice when it mattered.</p>
<p>Laziness? Procrastination? Not in this house. HS was so demanding, and varsity practice/game schedule punishing- he rarely had more than 6 hours sleep during the week. Dr. Apts? let’s see, miss school or practice/game?- let’s not forget how important those EC’s are- the coach counts too. Gotta get those awards for EC’s and get the High GPA. So yes, he was pulled out for Dr apt., he stayed home for exhaustion, he got sick, emergency room sick during allergy season. Goes to a top Uni now, and from day one, he could not believe how much different it was. More work yes, MUCH less grind. And plenty of fun too. HS is really screwed up these days IMO. Run like a sweat shop at competitive schools.</p>
<p>According to the common wisdom, I have a terrible attitude about skipping. I strongly believe in mental health days, taking kids out for vacations and the like. I found most of my son’s schools (we moved often as a military family) to be inflexible to the point that I had to lie to them. My son’s high school made us promise to not take him out for college visits so that we could attend Obama’s Inauguration. That’s right, we had to make a promise we knew we would break for him to witness history. When we did do college visits, we called in sick. So stupid. </p>
<p>It was infuriating to me to sit through lectures about how I was endangering my straight “A”, honors, then AP, then duel-credit at the local college, child’s education. Year after year I’d sit through the awards ceremony’s watching very little cross over between the perfect-attendance and “All A” or even “All A and B” kids. </p>
<p>Clearly this is a hot-button issue for me. To sum it up, I’m all for skipping school when the child is doing well. It’s insanity to me that that part of the issue gets completely swept under the run and we are expected to pretend that missing a day(s) of school is the same for every child.</p>
<p>The only time my mom called me out was when she made me go pick up my brother and I had to wait two hours for him and I didn’t have time to finish my science.</p>
<p>That sounds to me a lot like guilty until proven innocent. What, we’re just going to assume all students cheat? Besides which, just because a test is different doesn’t mean it has to be harder. Furthermore, if you’re lying on the couch throwing up the entire contents of your stomach, do you really have “more opportunity to study?” This policy is just ridiculous to me.</p>
<p>Look, as a student with excellent stats and ECs at a very competitive high school, I have to say that the hardline some of you are taking seems way over the top to me. If your kid tells you he needs a mental health day–and this request is made occasionally, not every week or something–why not let him have it? Who is it going to hurt? If it’s important for us to restore our physical health, why is our mental health not equally important? If a kid is incredibly sleep deprived, depressed, and stressed out, and taking a day off could help him relax and catch up on sleep or hw, why not help him out??? Sometimes it’s not because we’re “lazy” or we procrastinate. Sometimes we have ECs or sports and don’t get home till 6, and then shower and eat dinner and do our six hours of homework and still have a Calculus test the next day. Or SATs that weekend. Is it really so awful to just let us relax and be kids every once in a while?</p>
<p>Remember that for most adults who work, work ENDS when they get home at 6pm. For us, it just keeps on going–and we don’t get a break over the weekend, either. During winter break this year I had my wisdom teeth out and then slaved over college apps. I don’t know what you think we’re doing but we’re not all playing video games and going on Twitter or whatever. Some of us really do need mental health days, and I think some of you are cruel not to let your kids relax.</p>
<p>Sorry this was so long but I really feel pretty impassioned about this issue (as you can likely see, lol).</p>