<p>@toblin Could you ever look at Jimmy without conjuring up that picture in your head?</p>
<p>“both urinals occupied”</p>
<p>“We were both involved in the same activity”</p>
<p>Speaking of “conjuring up that picture”…I don’t know how you could possibly know that the word “same” is accurate, but for Jimmy’s sake I’ll take your word for it.</p>
<p>If this scene made it into a movie, later on in the day Jimmy would have introduced toblin to his mother, and toblin would have said, “Yes, we’ve already met.”</p>
<p>To Schmaltz- (post 222)
I suspect Jimmy’s mom’s activity might have been heard- thereby indicating they were both urinating(same activity).
Or, in the movie version of the introduction toblin might say “Hello. Nice we get to meet. I’ve heard so much about you”</p>
<p>But to Oregon, that is a funny story. But also shows many things.
The obvious, of course that had student let mother do his bed the problem would have been fixed immediately. But it also shows student that sometimes based on age and experience, a parent sometimes knows more than a teenager. It also served as a lesson to student, who I sure hope had to correct this himself. From that he learns sheets come in sizes, and how to exchange them, gets practice making a bed, and generally, just learns a bit about solving provlems-himself- like an adult.
Great lessons all around!</p>
<p>omg I loved the link to curmudgeon #211 and the story of Jimmy’s mom! Yes, let’s keep those coming.</p>
<p>While H and I were giving S a hand with his dorm stuff, his suitemate popped his head in the room and said “You guys are really nice, I wish my parents would have helped me”</p>
<p>I don’t know about the rest of you, but to me, to schlep heavy suitcases, duffels and boxes up to a dorm room and then not help the student unpack would be like …</p>
<ul>
<li>standing there outside the student’s home bedroom after he’s fully packed and not offering to help take heavy suitcases downstairs</li>
<li>standing outside the family car and watching the student try to fit heavy suitcases in a small trunk without lifting a finger or helping push a bag in</li>
<li>standing at a baggage carrousel and letting the student struggle with all the suitcases while remaining empty-handed</li>
</ul>
<p>It has nothing to do with “independence” and has everything to do with just being generally helpful. Schmaltz, I think you have confused “Hey, Johnny, since you’re busy putting together your computer, where do you want your socks? Top drawer - thanks, mom!” with “Johnny, your socks WILL go in the top drawer, I have decreed it to be so.”</p>
<p>PG, again, that’s how you feel, and how your kids felt. For my kid, helping her unpack would have been like standing over her when she was packing and directing her to place item A here, item B there. She would have been furious–indeed, over the days when she was packing, she hated having me come into her room. It made her feel stressed and nervous. </p>
<p>Different strokes for different folks. What works for one family doesn’t work for all. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. </p>
<p>The only time I made D1 deal with her own bag was when we were on a family trip to NYC, where we stayed in a B&B that was located three flights up in an UWS brownstone that had no elevator. I warned D1 (then a high school freshman) about this. I told her she was overpacking. I told her there would be only one adult, and that I and her sister would have our own luggage to deal with. She didn’t unpack anything, so she got to deal with the consequences…and she became a noticeably more careful packer from then on. :)</p>
<p>As someone with a medical condition that requires a lot of pee breaks, I’ve been known to go in some rather embarrassing places, such as a boy’s bunk at camp (at drop-off or pick-up). Of course I try to avoid embarrassing situations, and if I were Jimmy’s mom I probably would have looked for a girls’ floor, if there were one nearby, but sometimes when ya gotta go, ya gotta go ;-)</p>
<p>When we moved our DS in, we helped with some obvious stuff (clothes already on hangers into the closet, for instance) and then at some point we got to a point where DS wanted to take his time figuring things out for himself and he told us so. It’s worth asking your student how much help s/he wants, and then follow their lead on move-in day. We left without our student fully organized. I’m guessing that a month later, he’s got himself settled in just fine, but for all I know, half his stuff is still in duffel bags under the bed. Which is really no skin off my nose ;-)</p>
<p>I also have the kind of child that let me know in no uncertain terms to let him do it himself! I put together a packing list for college, and he took the list and packed everything himself. He would not let us near his stacks of supplies and would just keep us informed what he still needed from the list. So far I think he had only forgotten one thing, his bike lock, which we purchased the evening before he moved in.</p>
<p>On move-in day, we moved his boxes into his room, then walked around for awhile while he unpacked. He would not let us touch any of his boxes while in his room, as he wanted to unpack by himself. We carted some of the empty boxes back to the car, said goodbye, and began the long drive home!</p>
<p>As I think about Jimmy’s mom, I still think it’s a funny story.
But I just thought of another perspective. What if a daughter had gone into the ladies room, and in the stall next to her saw a pair of oxfords- then a man’s voice, “Hi I’m Lisa’s dad”. Somebody would likely have been on the hotline to the police; and many of us here now wouldn’t think it so funny.</p>
<p>My daughter packed all of he things up prior to leaving for school. We unpacked and started putting things away where she wanted them…put pictures up and set up commuter. Then we were told by her roommates mother that we had to leave the room while her daughter put her underwear away. I will never forget that!!!</p>
<p>As for all sons----We packed them up to bring them, unpacked when we got them to school, helped organize their rooms, hung framed art on walls, hooked up computers, did the trip to Walmart to stock up on the things we thought they needed and even some of the stuff they really needed, stayed overnight at a hotel from pure exhaustion, saw them the next day and left by the following late afternoon.</p>
<p>The soph year, we watched all sons pack their clothes and life in bags and boxes. Realized that the two who were in the same school needed multiple trips to get the accummulated stuff back to school. Made first trip back with them to help put the rooms together and left that night. They made the second trip back to school with the rest of their stuff. Moving two in took a total of 5 cars. The one son and the one daughter was easy…twins at the same school is not easy.</p>
<p>I guess I’m lucky that my daughter’s dorm room is so tiny that she couldn’t bring everything she owned, and there was no place to put anything that would have needed to be assembled. Okay, the desk lamp needed to be assembled, and that took me so long that it’s a good thing there was nothing else. She moved in at an odd time due to Irene and only a few other people were moving into the dorm at that time, which was great – no waiting for parking or elevators. </p>
<p>My son and I helped her unpack, and she was fine with that, but maybe it would have been a different story if other kids had been around. We all wiped off all the surfaces with Clorox wipes first – there was some dust but no serious dirt. The toilets were down the hall so no risk that I would try to clean them. :)</p>
<p>I think my only faux pas was when I went with her to check in for her pre-orientation camping trip. We were told the trails were muddy, so I said to her (in front of other kids and her group leader), “make sure you wear your hiking boots, not your sneakers or flip-flops.” Of course she looked at me in horror for that, but I think I’ve been forgiven.</p>
<p>
Weird. Did you notice what the reaction of the roomie was to her mom’s statement? It seems like a faux pas moment for that mom. It also makes you wonder what those undies looked like to warrant such secrecy.</p>
<p>momma-three, something just struck me. Was your roommate Mormon?</p>
<p>Or did the roomie work at Fredericks of Hollywood?</p>
<p>My husband dropped our son off yesterday to start his second year at Cal Poly Pomona. He said he saw a mom count out $2000 in cash and hand it to her son. In front of everyone! I hope that kid was just walking over to pay his bill or something, because that is a lot of cash to have on you, esp after everyone saw her give it to him.</p>
<p>My older daughter appreciates help so much that this year she was upset that her younger sister didn’t join us to help arrange her desk and bathroom! </p>
<p>Younger daughter will hate having us help, but love having us hang around.</p>
<p>Different strokes - even in the same family. Let your kid lead, it’s his/her life, not yours!</p>
<p>I did something so unbelievably embarassing, but got away with it because I made a huge announcement to 8 people in the room, acknowledging how embarassing it would be. I announced that this was my last child, 3,000 miles away, so please humor me: I was about to make his bed for the last time, ever. Then I unpacked and smoothed out his childhood quilt and gave him a ridiculous big kiss. It was my farewell ritual. Actually I hadn’t made his bed in the 6 years prior, so this was a real throw-back. I didn’t do anything else re: unpacking.</p>
<p>Follow-up: A few summers later, that quilt appeared as a key prop in a short independent film he wrote and directed. Driving to the film shoot in L.A., he pulled his car over to park by a dry-cleaner. He said, “You’ll like this, Mom.” He came out with the quilt, plastic-bagged on a hanger, ready for the scene. The completed film is now being submitted to the festival circuit. Somehow, he had learned how to take care of his own stuff, even though I ridiculously made his bed as he moved into his freshman dorm. :)</p>
<p>^^^Wow, pay3tuitions, that’s awesome. I’m sitting here in tears. Just think, he’ll show that film to his grandchildren and say, That’s my mom’s quilt! What a wonderful legacy!</p>