<p>ellebud, you sound just like a Jewish mother (which you are) 
It’s very sweet that you feed your kids’ friends and that they like to bring them home!</p>
<p>Ellebud, I hope you live near LA and adopt my kid on vacations!</p>
<p>My undergrad college was about 50 min from home but about 15 minutes from where my father worked. Right before starting my first semester as a sophomore transfer there, my father inexplicably decided to take a business course there at night. I suppose it *could *have evolved into a bizarre situation like with Rodney Dangerfield in “Back to School,” but he was extremely discreet, and it worked out great. He would show up to his class about a half hour early, and we’d have nice little chats in the hallway. His pep talks kept me going…a favor I returned 20 yrs later when he was retired and he decided to finally finish the bachelor’s degree he’d started 55 years before.</p>
<p>I witnessed an awkward exchange when dropping my son off freshman year. The time had come for parents to leave, and hugs and tears were all around.</p>
<p>After my wife and I hugged our son goodbye, we watched another family’s goodbye exchange. The boy hugged his mother and then turned to his father for the same, but was instead offered a handshake. From the son’s reaction it was clear this was a first for them.</p>
<p>It seemed like the dad was giving his son a “today you are a man” type of sendoff, but the boy was just confused.</p>
<p>I told this story to a friend, who told me that there is a scene like this in a movie, he thought with Robin Williams?</p>
<p>Schmaltz–very sweet</p>
<p>This is not a move-in example, but I continue to be amazed at the extremely specific questions parents will ask at an info session that has, like, 300 people in it. (And it’s even worse when the admissions officer answers it at great length, when it obviously applies to virtually nobody in the room.) My kids would die if I did that.</p>
<p>I can’t apologize for helping S1 unpack his clothes (out of eyesight of the roomies) freshman year. It was a good thing I did: those TWO pair of underwear weren’t going to last very long… (Got home…lots of unwashed underwear in our basement laundry room. I think I actually sent them priority in one of those boxes!)</p>
<p>@ellenbud. I don’t think you are an anomaly but remember that Pizzagirl and I extended invites on the day our kids were moving in - well before they have a circle of friends they want to invite to their parents. </p>
<p>My son is being taken out for dinner later this week by my nieces in-laws who live 30 minutes away in Portland, who he has only met once at the wedding over two years ago. When she mentioned to me before he got to school that they would like to take him out after he got settled I thought it was a lovely gesture and I am glad to hear my son accepted their kind offer instead of making excuses not to go.</p>
<p>I want to thank Pizzagirl for creating this thread. I have so enjoyed the good laughs so far.</p>
<p>Not there yet, but I’ll no doubt be able to add my own faux-pas that people can laugh at next year. These are strange times.</p>
<p>My D moved in a few days early for sports precamp. We came back on regular orientation day a few days later, since there were many sessions for parents. Roomie1 called her early in the morning and asked if she could let her in, even though it was an hour before move in time started. This was 8AM.</p>
<p>D let them in, and the parents moved in the items. D said that she spoke with the mom for a while and seemed very nice, but Roomie1 never said a word. We met D after practice at 2, and went to her room so that she could get some things before the next events. Both of her room mates were there, without parents. I asked them if their parents had left. Roomie2 said that that were doing orientation things,and Roomie1 said that they went to buy 'stuff".</p>
<p>A few minutes later, roomie1 leaves and comes back with her parents and lots of “stuff” that they bought at BBB- extra drawers, a vacuum cleaner (which is still in the box as of yesterday), chair cushion, and the thin hangars. Roomie1 sat at her desk on her laptop as her parents unpacked all of the items, and rehung all of the clothes in the closet. Roomie1 did not get up at all. </p>
<p>We left to attend the president’s speech and barbecue. When we returned several hours later, Roomie1 was still sitting at her desk and her parents seemed to have settled in very comfortably. They did not attend any of the parent orientation events.</p>
<p>Later on that night, I texted D and asked if roomie1’s parents ever left. She said that they finally left at around 7PM.</p>
<p>Wow. I obviously get an “F” in Helicoptering, because I assumed, and still assume, that parental responsibilities = </p>
<p>(1) transporting student + items to dorm
(2) helping to transport items into dorm, if student chooses (2 more arms), OR…
(3) babysitting possibly illegally parked car during process 
(4) sweetly introducing self to suitemates, if they’re present
(5) asking S/D if anything else for dorm is needed
(6) wishing S/D great academic year and SAYING GOOD-BY</p>
<p>In D1’s first year of college, she was last to move into the room. Only then did roommates realize other stuff was still needed, and only I had a vehicle. Thus, I offered to chauffeur them to local Target, etc. But it was based on items they decided they needed, not I decided they needed.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine hanging out even near campus, let alone in the residence halls. :eek: I wonder if such parents slept over at middle-school sleepover parties, too? Hmmm.</p>
<p>
On the second day of orientation, D extended a similar invitation for Thanksgiving to two international students on her floor. She did not want them sitting in the dorm alone. Even though they are not particular friends, they know that they have a place to go if they wish.</p>
<p>The most embarassing was the mom and dad of a woman across the hall from D. The mom wasn’t too bad, just disclosing a bit too much about her D’s issues/need for on campus counseling (not sure the student wants that disclosed to her future classmates). The dad was a piece of work- pretty clearly has social issues and kept on wandering in to pass the time when my H was stressed with trying to get D’s network connection to work with her wireless routed and NAS (he is an IT consultant so it was his niche). H tried to be civil but when the guy asked for scissors to cut my H’s (albeit long) hair, H had enough. :eek: I could not take the pressure off as D had injured her ankle so could do much less than would be expected of the room set up. So for the rest of the two days we would dodge the parents whenever we saw them. We also were good parents, leaving campus long before the 7pm parents deadline to leave. According to D many, many parents just hung out until 10-11pm at night!</p>
<p>epiphany,
I think my parents were worse failures in helicoptering ;), they dropped me at the curb at the airport with a box and a suitcase, and that was just fine with me!</p>
<p>two years ago when we moved eggson in, his roomie’s parents were already there… assembling shelves from ikea, putting calendar and whiteboard on the walls, taking clothes out of suitcase and hanging in closet, connecting printer…</p>
<p>roomie was down the hall in the lounge watching tv. </p>
<p>i made the bed and DH made sure there were enough outlets and extension cords for everything. everything else was up to DS. I’m sure roomie’s parents thought we were cruel.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Wait. That’s what the maids & valets do in Upstairs/Downstairs and Downton Abbey. Was it aristocracy moving into the dorm? I thought they went to Oxford, Cambridge, and tony places like that. :D</p>
<p>This thread is a RIOT. I don’t think I spent more than an hour TOTAL in four years times two kids…in their dorm rooms. </p>
<p>But I will say…DD’s was one of the cleanest places I’ve ever seen when we moved her in.</p>
<p>DS’s was the SMALLEST place I’ve ever seen for two people. There really wasn’t any room for parents to hang around!</p>
<p>When my so was a freshman, we arrived at his dorm before he did, because he was off on an orientation camping trip. So yes, we unloaded and unpacked all his stuff even before he showed up. What a scam! This year, we didn’t unpack anything, although we did make an Ikea run (which I thought was fun, actually).</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Actually, that would have been twice as many as my freshman year roommate needed to get through a semester.</p>
<p>Ew^^^ . Just…ew.</p>
<p>We did a shopping run with our DS, but otherwise the only thing I did in his room was make his bed and hang up a couple of command hooks (where he directed) while he unpacked and set up. We helped him figure out what additional storage he wanted (shelves for the closet), decided to get a bedboard cut for him, got him some needed power strips, picked up the pre-ordered mini-fridge, and bought him some groceries (he is on a meal plan, so groceries were just for snacks, missed meals, etc.) – that is we did the “car-needed” stuff to get him started. We left him with plenty of unpacking left to do as he clearly didn’t want us to hang around watching (or worse, helping!) while he unpacked, but I think it’s equally reasonable if a kid does want help or company while they unpack.</p>