<p>I am currently a freshman at community college. I completed my senior year there, so I have a bunch of credits and a 2.85 GPA. I am also paying for my college.
I want to transfer to a university in the spring semester. But my parents are comparing what they did in college as to what I should be doing.
My mom went to community college to earn her associates degree. She got a full time job and didn't go back to school to get her bachelors and masters degree until she was in her 30's. She also didn't move out of her parent's house until she was in her mid 20's. I am the first born and the only daughter in the family, and she also gets very overprotective.
My dad went to college for a year, but dropped out because he was lazy. He either thinks that I will drop out too if I'm not able to do the school work or if I'm too lazy.
I also have a dog. I did not intentionally want my dog to become my dog, but after we got him I was the only one that took care of him the most. Now my parents are saying, 'if you go away, who will take care of him?' Both of my parents work full time and my brothers(ages twelve and fifteen) are too lazy and just don't care to take care of my dog. And the colleges I'm looking into do not allow pets in dorms. </p>
<p>I just don't think it's fair that my parents are comparing what they did in college, to what I should be doing. And I don't think it's fair that they are using my dog as an excuse to get me to stay and not go away to college. I am mature enough to go away. I am the most responsible out of my 2 brothers.
Like I said earlier in my thread, I am and will be continuing to pay for my college.
I love my parents and my family, but I want to be able to experience college life.
Do you think what my parents are doing is fair? Or what my parents want me to do is fair?</p>
<p>You need to involve them in your transfer application process.
A 2.85 GPA is not going to give you a lot of options…are they worried that you are not academically/emotionally prepared for tranferring?
Your brothers will have to step up to the plate to take care of the dog…ignore that issue and it will solve itself once you leave.</p>
<p>What the heck? So what are they planning on doing–letting the dog starve to death? After the dog poops on the floor a couple times because everyone is “too busy” to let it out or walk it, the parents will probably do something about your brothers being “too lazy.”</p>
<p>Alternatively, suggest that they hire a dog walker or pet sitter.</p>
<p>Now, that said, it may be easier to make best use of your credits while transfering into a four-year college if you do get an associate’s degree. Look into that, maybe it’s worth it to finish up that 2nd year of CC. But if you decide to transfer in without it–well, it’s your money so it’s your choice. </p>
<p>No, I don’t think it’s appropriate for your parents to try to emotionally blackmailing you into staying because of the dog (which sounds like it started out a “family” dog, not exclusively yours).</p>
<p>Edit: Also, siliconvalleymom is right about a 2.85 GPA limiting your options. Personally, I would indeed stay in CC another year and pull the GPA up as much as possible.</p>
<p>Something isn’t right here. How did you go from a cumulative gpa of 2.4 to a cumulative gpa of 2.85 if you only took one summer course? Even if you earned an “A” in the class, it wouldn’t bring your cumulative gpa up to a 2.85. </p>
<p>I think you should continue with community college until you gain the skills necessary to be able to achieve in a more rigorous environment. The additional year at the community college level will give you some more time to grow both academically and emotionally.</p>
<p>The issue here is not the dog. It’s not your parents. It’s not your community college.
The issue here (based on your previous posts), is that you need more time to develop both academically and emotionally before moving away. Your previous posts suggest that you’re not quite ready to successfully handle both the social and academic pressures that are typical at 4-year residence colleges. </p>
<p>Finish up at your community college. Spend the next year taking small steps to build more independence and maturity. Work on your academic weaknesses and keep striving to get your cumulative GPA above 3.2. Once you’ve mastered the social and academic skills needed to finish community college, you’ll be better equipped for moving on to the next level.</p>
<p>It sounds to me like your parents are simply saying ‘no.’ Both your father and mother apparently think you may not make it through. Why do you think they say that? Your gpa – after repeating classes to bring up your gpa-- isn’t even a 3.0 at the cc. Your best bet is to continue at the cc (with its smaller classes) and then transfer somewhere else. Find out what colleges have articulation agreements with your cc. At this point, you have one good semester under your belt-- that’s it. Stepping up the intensity level of the coursework might blow you out of the water. Take a couple more semesters, until your skills are top notch, and then apply as a transfer. Colleges will look at you very differently from how they see you now-- and I suspect your parents may too. (And if somehow your parents are still against the idea, you would be older by then and more likely to be able to foot your bill.)</p>
<p>Yes, your parents are “fair” in the broad sense of the term. You are presumably 18 or older–if you want to do your own thing, then you need to do it on your own steam–your own money and effort.</p>
<p>If you want financial support from your parents (including the form of living in their home and paying no rent, no utilities, no food, etc) then you need to work within the limits they set.</p>
<p>If you don’t like it, then move out.</p>
<p>I don’t know what you hope to accomplish by appealing to a bunch of strangers–whether they agree with you or not doesn’t change the bottom line. You get to do 100% of what you want when you move out and figure out a way to 100% pay/finance those activities. Until then, everything will be a compromise that is primarily shaped by your parents. Getting strangers to agree with you the statement “My parents are not fair” gets you nowhere. And in fact, most of the responses have been otherwise.</p>
<p>If you read the 5 or 6 other threads you have started and the several 100 responses to those threads carefully, the overwhelming response to you and your situation has been</p>
<p>1) Your parents seem normal/wise
2) There are some maturity issues with you that seem to be going on that you don’t want face
3) You need to cooperate with your parents–or move out (but advising the former)
4) Your gpa and your overall college skills could benefit from more time at CC (most posters have expressed that you do not seem like a strong candidate for a 4-year and are better off where you are)
5) Don’t go crazy deep in debt for a 4year college</p>
<p>So the final piece of advice is if the dog is yours - take it with you and live off campus (or work until you can afford to go to college). Or find a new owner and give it up for adoption. Or just stay at home for a few more years and leverage yourself into a better position…2 years of CC under your belt w/o debt is a good thing.</p>
<p>And FYI, I live in PA, which has 14 universities(PASSHE) that are state funded. It’s not hard to get into most of them. You need a 2.0 GPA to be considered for most of the. So I think I’m good.</p>
<p>I had a 2.7 after my first semester of community college, and I managed to bring my GPA up to a 3.8 by the time I left after my second year, and I transferred to a really great university. If it’s the grades that are spooking your parents-- and mine have similar stories to yours and reacted similarly when I was in your shoes, there is a lot you can do about it by staying another year. Part of my success was being able to retake a course I failed and have the new grade replace the old one, which is not an opportunity available at all schools, but you can still crank that GPA up.</p>
<p>Chances are you cannot proceed to a four year university without your parents support. I don’t know about you, but I needed a cosigner in order to go to a four year, scholarships for transfer students are extremely limited and I qualified for no need-based aid because of my parents, and there is no way around how that works unless you are older, married, or have children. This means that your only options are to quit now, or to keep going to CC and try to prove that you won’t just be lazy and drop out and that you are prepared and hope your parents come around. At this point, I think the dog is not worth worrying about. At the moment you are not going anywhere anyway. Worry about the dog when you actually know you’re leaving. Concentrate on the matter at hand, here.</p>
<p>Okay I don’t know where any of you are from, but where I’m from, I know a lot of people that are not exactly mature that are going to 4 year colleges, and like I said in my earlier thread, I am only looking into state funded public universities, not some top notch private schools or any ivies. I know people that have gotten accepted to the universities I’m applying to with 2.5’s.</p>
<p>I bumped up your other thread. It is not fair to leave the dog to your brothers if they are not interested in dog care. (not fair to the dog or to the brothers). </p>
<p>You seem to want to avoid hard choices – and that is what your parents are seeing when they think you need to stay at home. It sounds like you want them to finance you living off campus with the dog (and a car?) so all your needs and wants are met. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter what other people’s GPAs are. What matters is your own. A 2.85 would be impressive for a student with a major disability or learning challenge. It is very underwhelming for most students. Why should a parent pay a truck load of money for a student to go away when they aren’t being very serious about being a student?</p>
<p>You may be taking out the trash and helping with dinner – but you are not yet demonstrating that you are a strong student. </p>
<p>There is room to negotiate. You can offer to apply for transferring to university in the spring (so the paperwork is in and it is an option for you) and agree on a GPA for this fall term. If it were my kid, I’d want to see a semester of 3.25 or better to agree to the next step. A solid fall term would show you are truly a dedicated student. </p>
<p>As to the dog, also agree to some intermediate steps. Ask/bribe one of the brothers to take the dog to an obedience class – drive the brother and be very encouraging. If the dog and kid interact more, then the brother may care more. Don’t shout or lecture. Be the best coach possible. And, if that doesn’t work out, be mature and be ready to let the dog go to another home.</p>
<ol>
<li>Olymom, where the hell did you get the idea that I want my parents to pay for me? I am paying for my own college. I have no idea how you got the idea that my parents are paying for my college, as I have in my original thread that I am paying for college.</li>
<li>And I’ve had a learning disability since I was practically born. </li>
<li>Good for you that you want your kids to have a 3.2 or better. The colleges I’m applying to aren’t the ivies. And a 2.8 isn’t terrible. It’s average.</li>
</ol>
<p>Most colleges WILL take you with that gpa… but lots and lots of kids never finish college. Many colleges in the US graduate fewer than half of all students. Most parents want their kids to be strong students when they go to college.</p>
<p>You say you pay for your own college. However, since you are living at home, I assume they pay your food and living expenses? If so, they are probably picking up the bulk of your expenses since you’re at a cc. Are you able to pay for your tuition, room and board? That seems like a LOT of $. If you’re thinking of taking out major loans, that seems like another good reason to put off moving out. </p>
<p>No one thinks you shouldn’t go away to college-- just that you should have your gpa up. If you will have to take out loans, then I think you will find that adults will advise even stronger against it.</p>
<p>Chesire, Olymom was just telling you what she thinks about from a parents’ perspective.</p>
<p>Of course your parents are going to compare you to them. It’s human. People use similar experiences to figure out what to do in novel situations. This is new to them, so they are only using the knowledge they already have about college to come by. Instead of assuming they are being unfair - have you talked to your parents and discussed what their concerns are? Why do they not want you to go to a four-year college? Why does your father think you are at risk of dropping out?</p>
<p>You keep saying that you are paying for school. But how are you currently paying for school? Most public universities are a lot more money than CCs even if you are in-state. How are you going to pay the difference? The thing is, if you are paying 100% of your own expenses what your parents think won’t matter because you can do whatever you want, so there must be SOME reason why you’re coming here for advice. And like 2collegewego said, if you are only paying for your tuition and books you are only paying a fraction of what it will cost to go to a public university. Room and board will cost you around $10,000 a year or more. Where are you going to get that money from, if not your parents?</p>
<p>You keep saying you “only” want to go to a public university. But what you’re not getting is a 2.85 is low for a transfer student <em>even</em> at a public school. You would have far better chances if you brought your GPA up to a 3.0 - stayed another year and see how you could get it. (Also, a 3.2 is nowhere near good enough for an Ivy, so that comparison is invalid). You’d also have a better chance at some merit aid for transfers with a higher GPA. Not only that, your parents might feel better about your transfer plans if you could keep a B average. If you can’t get a 3.0 at a community college, what will you get at a public university? That’s what they may be asking themselves.</p>
<p>I disagree with this part of your post. It isn’t specifically the OP’s dog but a family dog. When one kid leaves, the other kids (or parents) take up the chores that Absent Kid is no longer doing. I’ll bet most kids aren’t interested in doing the dishes, washing laundry, or mowing the lawn either, but if the parents say “Mow the lawn” . . . they mow the lawn.</p>
<p>CheshireCat, I found your reply to Olymom rude and immature. If this is the way you communicate publicly with a stranger who is simply trying to help you, I wonder how you speak to and treat your parents. Perhaps their feelings about your level of maturity and readiness for tougher responsibilities (I.e. 4-year college) has something to do with this. Just food for thought.</p>
<p>You start a new thread every week or so, trying to present the situation in a way that will make your parents look unreasonable and unfair. When parents on this thread disagree with you, you are rude and disrespectful in your replies.</p>
<p>Is it reasonable to tell you that you can not go away because of the dog? No, it isn’t. But your parents have every reason to be concerned that you may not make it at 4 year college right now. You had a very bumpy road in HS AND at CC, and only now are beginning to hold it together with minimal course load. They have every reason to think that it will be best for you to stay put and finish CC first, but you dismiss all their concerns, stating that you’ve already proved you can handle college (something no one on this forum seems to agree with you on…)</p>
<p>The dog story is probably something your parents came up with in their desperation to find something you’d care about in order to prevent you from what they think would be a mistake for you to do. If you are paying all your expenses, they can’t stop you from going away, they are just trying to stop you from making a mistake.</p>