transfer/life dilemma

<p>x posted in parents forum</p>

<p>so, after my first year of college, i now have to look for somewhere new to transfer for fall. i did very mediocre, and will most likely lose my scholarship at my school this fall if i go back, unless by some miracle i get a 3.7 gpa that semester. even though its slightly possible i can achieve this feat [my schedule then includes calc, orgo, and anatomy & physiology], my parents are incredibly apprehensive about spending another 15k and then having me not make that gpa. i really want them to trust me to be able to do this, but i understand why they dont believe it</p>

<p>so now i need to figure out options for the fall. my parents want me to try and transfer to a state school about 40 minutes from home, and then have me commute. i really dont want to do this, for 2 reasons (1-i would be at home, and i just cannot deal with that. im on summer break now and i already hate being at home; 2-i dont drive long distances yet (especially on highways), so my parents would have to drive me to school )....and im not even sure i would get in that school with my gpa i have now. my hs record was good, but my college one so far is so-so.</p>

<p>or transfer to another college (and live on campus) and after my 2nd year (1st year there), try and get into some sort of combined b.s/m.s. degree program. i dont want to just get my bachelors in some major such as psych, because that wont really do anything for me in the future. so now im scrambling to find colleges that have bs/ms programs, yet let in people with below 2.5 gpas....im such an idiot i got a 2.35...</p>

<p>so i really dont know what to do now...my parents want me to give them options of what i can do by tonight, or tomorrow, so we can start working on them for fall</p>

<p>any ideas?</p>

<p>
[quote]
-i dont drive long distances yet (especially on highways)

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Umm, how old are you ?</p>

<p>18..but i just got my liscence this year. please dont be a jackass</p>

<p>I did the live at home and commute to college thing. It's the biggest mistake I have ever made. It's like being in high school all over again, it completely ruined my college experiece (I'm transfering across the country next year). Figure out what you want to do with your life first...I know psych majors that go on to law school (my sister is at harvard law right now she has a psych degree) so you should really figure that part out first. First and foremost though, get your grades up. It certainly isn't impossible to get a 3.7, you just have to put in the time. If you haven't already applied to a school for next fall then you aren't going anywhere because all of the deadlines have past. If you don't think they trust you to get that GPA, prove them wrong! My first semester in college i got a 2.8 and second semester I bounced back with a 3.9....you can totally rebound from that gpa but it takes effort. good luck!</p>

<p>
[quote]
please dont be a jackass

[/quote]
</p>

<p>With only 7 posts I don't think it is the best idea to use that language and tone. </p>

<p>I read your post a couple of times and maybe its because I'm really tired but I don't really understand what you are asking. Simply put, you have to transfer because your grades are too low for you to keep your scholarships so you have two options: transfer to college far away or go to a state college. Right?</p>

<p>Are you asking which colleges you should be looking into with your grades or are you asking a comparison between living on campus and commuting?</p>

<p>I think you should aim for maybe a 3.0 next semester and then try to transfer to a school further away. I know you're not happy where ur at but its too late to apply to most schools (though YOu might want to try schools with Rolling such as Purdue) and you'll have a better shot next year.</p>

<p>ok i apologize for that comment, i was just annoyed at the fact that all reachin4thestars chose to address out of my situation is my driving (or lack therof).</p>

<p>I don't mean to be mean or whatever but nobody in this forum is obligated to answer to any thing. While it would be better if everyone wrote paragraphs on each others' threads sharing their thoughts, no one has to. Perhaps instead of being annoyed at someone addressing a particular part of your thread that you don't care for, you should address the questions people have asked you about your situation and clarify your statements.</p>

<p>ggod point jacknjill. i guess i was being overly sensitive and annyed at the first response. now i'll explain better exactly what im asking, since there seems to be some confusion in what i wrote.</p>

<p>im asking for opinions on my situation, in a "what would you do?" kind of way. i could go back to my school in the fall, but my parents dont think a 3.7 gpa is possible with my schedule then, since i didnt even come close to that this semester. do i try to convince them somehow that i can do it? or just resign myself to not going back in the fall or even attempting to get that gpa?</p>

<p>should i transfer to the school they want me to go to, and just commute? im not even too sure that i would get into that school. i never was interested in it in the fist place, so even if i do get in, commuting there, and my overall life at the school would probably be a horrible time. BUT they have a good b.s./m.s. program that i could transfer to in my 3rd year.</p>

<p>or should i transfer to another school with lower standards, where i would have a better chance of getting in? and be able to live on campus.</p>

<p>truth be told, I think it would be a terrible mistake to make your decision about college (which is huge in your life) based on what your parents think. true, they are writing the checks, but they shouldnt be the reason you go somewhere. believe me, the commuting thing is terrible, i guarantee your grades will only go down because you will be miserable at home. focus on your grades next semester and prove them wrong. besides, with your gpa, you dont have a very good chance of getting into anywhere, and if you decide to transfer eventually, you will have a wider array of options if you get your gpa up next semester.</p>

<p>I disagree with part of gonsenheim's comment. Being miserable may suck, but for many people (myself included), depression actually helps one to get better grades. I'm not suggesting that you commute, but whatever you choose to do, don't assume that your grades are going to tank because of a pleasant/unpleasant living environment. There are far more important factors affecting your GPA besides your emotional state (ie good/bad profs, courses taken, curve, etc).</p>

<p>well said ThinMan...in my own personal experience, being unhappy led to worse grades. you might be different, just my advice though ;)</p>

<p>i'd have to say a student's emotional well-being has a lot to do with his or her academic performance. If you're depressed about not doing well in school, you can't just go out there and force it, especially if you're not addressing why you're feeling blue.</p>

<p>And, not trying to be a "jackass" or anything, but looking at your post, you seem very dependent on your parents at this point (with driving as a case in point). How do you think you'd fare at a school so far away from home? </p>

<p>At the same time, does the academic part of school mean a lot to you (and not your parents)? If not, which is understandable--with the President being the best example, then you should definitely reconsider going back to school when you're "depressed." It'll make the whole thing a lot tougher.</p>

<p>commuting seems like a bit of a tricky prospect... would your parents drive for almost 3 hours each day (two 80 minute round trips) for you to commute? That's asking a lot from them.</p>

<p>In terms of grades, I don't know what school you are currently at, but it IS possible to get the kind of grades you're looking for, it will require a lot of work, probably many friday and saturday nights studying instead of having fun. </p>

<p>Try to think about and figure out why you didn't do as well as you had hoped this year, and if you can find the causes of the issues, and reasonable solutions to those issues, maybe your parents will be more likely to believe you that you CAN do it.</p>

<p>Maybe I am missing something, but why the tough course load for next semester? Do you not have some core courses you need to take? It looks like you are taking a very heavy science load with how many labs? That schedule is a hard one for a strong student. I thing you would be better off taking a easier schedule, getting your gpa up, and then moving into the science courses. Take one lab course next semester and take some time getting your feet wet. If you need a certain gpa to keep a scholarship, then take classes that will help you get that gpa. I am not saying slack off; just take it slowly, give yourself time to adjust. Why run from your current school because you "may not" get the gpa you need? Sometimes if you want something bad enough, it can happen! Work your butt off next semester at your current school and show yourself and your parents you can do this !!!</p>

<p>I also don't see your parents driving you long distances to commute. Are they going to wait in the car while you attend classes so that they can drive you home? That seems a huge waste of everyones time. Can you not live on campus at the local state school? Is it a cost thing?</p>

<p>If your current school isn't a possibility then I would suggest attending a community college for the next year in your home city (if there is one) and live at home. Get your gpa up and then look into transferring the following year. I know that would be 3 schools in your college life, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>the tough schedule is not necessarily by choice. that's the same schedule everyone in my major takes in their third semester. the only class that was my choice was calculus, because i want to get a better grade than i did last semester when i took it. my main desire is to go back to school next semester, and really bust my ass and get that gpa. i just don't know how to convince my parents that i can do this, when i havent met their expectations this year.</p>

<p>im not dependent on my parents (at least in my opinion); it's just that ive been pretty sheltered by them all of my life, and they have been very protective over me. the college im currently in now is 3 hours away from my home; far enough for me to feel independent, but close enough to come home when i can</p>

<p>my mother works in the city where that new prospective school is, so i'm guessing i would drive there with her in the mornings, and then back again in the evening. i really don't want to do this, but i dont know what else to do. my parents have said they dont trust me to live away from school after my bad job grade-wise this past year, so they basically want me home so they can see that im working.</p>

<p>HI
I am a student who went to community college by choice for the first two years. I was kinda in the same situation in that I slacked my junior and senoir years in high school. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get into the schools I wanted with schorlaships if I applied immediately so I went to cc and worked my butt of for two years. I now have a 3.9 gpa and my school paid for. I live at home and though it is annoying sometimes, it is worth it cos' I don't have to worry about much other than studying.
I think taking this summer to sit and re-evaluate what happened this year that made your grades fall so much is the first step. That is what I did. I realised that I was doing so well in my first two years that I began to get comfortable and slacked off. This gave me an idea of what not to do.
Once you have re-evaluated you decisions and actions, I think you should talk to an advisor about getting your load lightened. For someone who needs to get their GPA up, those classes are not conducive. I have taken all of them and even then it was really hard maintaining the GPA. If you are worried about falling behind, take summer classes once you have re-developed your study skills and then you can catch up. Don't be in too much of a hurry. You don't have to do what everyone else does.
I think if you write down your mistakes and how you intend to repair them and also you goals for next semester, I think your parents will see that you are serious about changing. Be proactive! It is always useful in getting out of bad situations.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do :)</p>

<p>bump^^</p>

<p>i really would like some more input</p>