<p>A parent in my town has been volunteering in our school's college information center for years. She has the reputation for being very nosy...she often calls people up and asks probing questions, and hints that she knows other, personal information about people but "can't really talk about that"...you know the type I'm sure. He children are bright and headed for high level schools and she has one child in an Ivy League school.</p>
<p>My son and I recently visited our college information center. She has a child my son's age. A few days later, I received a call from her asking about how my son's applications were going. She asked a lot of probing questions and as usual, I dodged them. It has almost become a game! However, what was interesting was that she wasn't as competitive as she usually is during our conversations. (Maybe I'm imagining this after the fact, but I'm thinking that she got a look at my son's grades and realized he wasn't headed for the Ivys like her child. No one would necessarily know this since he has been in accelerated/honors classes in HS and was in TAG in elementary school, etc.)</p>
<p>A friend of mine who is also acquainted with this woman had an almost identical experience; however, my friend said that it was clear from their conversation that this woman knew things about my friend's son regarding grades and SAT scores that my friend had not revealed. (I don't want to get more specific as a person like this probably also reads CC!) My friend said that this woman has always exuded a sort of competitiveness between her child and my friend's son (her son is a great kid and very bright, the woman's child is also very bright but socially awkward) and has made little demeaning comments over the years. (The friend often calls and tells me about them...it used to bother her but now we sort of laugh about it.)</p>
<p>My friend is upset and I am upset too as I'm thinking that she must have looked up my son's info as well. (Kids' info is kept in a file drawer which doesn't seem to be locked. I don't think the center has any info on kids unless you come in though.)</p>
<p>Is there anything that can be done about this? Neither one of us feel comfortable having her know our kids' details.</p>
<p>Hope I'm not rambling...</p>
<p>Can you ask the school’s info center how well the info is protected / locked up?</p>
<p>I would be blunt with someone like this if she comes around again. “Why is any of this your business?”</p>
<p>I can’t imagine where the SAT scores, GPA, college choices of any children except those who live in my household would be ANY of my business, whatsoever.</p>
<p>I think you should bring your concerns to the person who is in charge of the college information center. It is not right that volunteers have access to confidential information. I am a school counselor and I am very careful about who has access to what info. Only professional staff can look at confidential information. I don’t even let subs look at any of it. I really think that this is a confidentiality issue that the school needs to be made aware of.</p>
<p>RTR…Who supervises the volunteers at your center? Make a phone call to that person and ask what access is available (not what is authorized…what is available) to this person. You don’t have to use her name, you can just ask in general terms. I agree 100% with Pizzagirl. The best way to squash this bug is to bluntly say, “Thank you for your interest in my child, although I am having difficultly understanding why it is of any concern to you?” I assure you I have said this many times. When students attend competitive HS, parents are constantly gauging themselves and their child’s standing. It is human nature. When you have a kid that is on top of the pile, you become a target. It is important to let those around you know you will not be an easy one.</p>
<p>I have seen this a lot over the years. Be careful how you handle it, as Nosy Mom will likely be very well-connected at the school. I have seen this type of parent head up the PTA, the parent committees, “class mom” etc.</p>
<p>One Nosy Mom was PTA president and a big donor. She compelled her son to keep a chart inside his notebook that listed the grades, SAT scores and other data about the best kids in the class, so that she would know exactly where he stood in class rank. She bullied other moms, and her kid wasn’t very nice either. But she put herself in an omniscient position and the school administration was afraid of her.</p>
<p>I heard another Nosy Mom at a school event corner a teacher and say loudly about someone else’s kid: “I don’t know how you can recommend x for y school – they can’t do math and they can’t handle it”. Can you imagine disparaging someone else’s child to a teacher? Some parents have no shame.</p>
<p>How the Nosy Mom in your post got the info – easy, her kid told her. Most kids don’t keep that info too closely, and if asked, especially if badgered into it by another kid, will spill their guts. Everyone knows what my D’s PSAT and SAT scores are because she told them! </p>
<p>How you would handle it is …eh…carefully. You don’t know who could be loyal to Nosy Mom in the office or in the parent community. It sounds like your son’s school is very well-staffed in terms of guidance. I think I would have a serious personal chat with your son’s guidance counselor, tell her your suspicions and say you want all of your son’s records and info kept under “close hold”. Your friend should do the same. Unfortunately, you and your son may have to avoid the school’s “college information center” for fear of harassment. But you can find out just about anything you need to know on line or from the professional guidance counselors who should be on staff.</p>
<p>The problem is less that the volunteer has access to certain information, but that she is blabbing about it. I also volunteer at the college and career center at my high school and as part of helping the kids with their college application strategy, I know information like their SAT scores, GPA and curriculum. In filling out paperwork for the counselors during Secondary School Report season, I need to know the GPA of the #1 kid and if there are more than 1 #1 kid. During scholarship season, I sometimes help the counselors pull scholarship applications to send to outside committees and these applications may have sensitive material on them.</p>
<p>But I would never think of speaking out of school about that kind of information. I don’t think it would be out of line for there to be a workshop sponsored by the head counselor to reiterate privacy issues to volunteers and even the counselors themselves–and make sure that this person attends.</p>
<p>When I volunteered at S1’s HS, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement about student records, disciplinary reports, grades, census/demogrpahic data, etc. If that sort of policy is not already in place, seems like a logical request to make.</p>
<p>^Actually, this is a pretty good idea in that it can be the perfect time to teach a volunteer about privacy rights and reiterate how important the school takes this information to be.</p>
<p>Do teachers have to sign one every year also? </p>
<p>People consider privacy issues to be much more important nowadays than we used to back in the days of my youth. More education is needed.</p>
<p>CD:</p>
<p>You read my mind regarding a confidentiality agreement.</p>
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<p>I don’t see what the “parent community” has to do with anything. I don’t see how any other parents are going to be involved in whether my children get into the colleges to which they’re interested. Then again, I tend to keep to myself and like my privacy.</p>
<p>I don’t think a parent should have any access to the records of students of their kids’ year. In fact, I think they shouldn’t be allowed to volunteer in the college office in their own child’s year.</p>
<p>When our school bought into the Naviance system, some of us volunteered to put previous data in the system, but were not allowed due to confidentiality issues. I agree that parent volunteers need to understand that any information seen is not to be talked about. If they do not need to know that information, they should not have access to it. That’s true of any volunteer position - I volunteer at my church counting the Sunday collections, and would never discuss donations of my fellow members.</p>
<p>I don’t think that parents should have access to any students’ records except their own. I bet that this also is covered by privacy laws.</p>
<p>I had the same experience, mamabear. Our school uses Infinite Campus, or I should say they DON’T use it. It was non-operational all last year, despite the hefty installation and site costs. I volunteered repeatedly to learn the system, trouble-shoot and manage it, but the principal couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept of “confidentiality agreement”, which I of course offered to write for myself and any other volunteers. No one employed by the school “has time” to learn the system, so there it sits.</p>
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<p>I guess that depends on the school, Pizzagirl. In this case, the OP said that this parent was a volunteer in the school’s “college information center”. It would stand to reason that students and parents avail themselves of the resources, and could potentially reveal a lot of information by answering simple questions asked by the person manning the desk. Also note that that Nosy Mom has a child in the same grade. Kids sometimes talk completely innocently to each other and anyone else around the school about their stats.</p>
<p>Conversation in the hs “College Info Center” could go something like this:
Nosy Mom (volunteering): What colleges would you like information about?
Student: Well, I need to look at state schools, I kinda bombed the SATs?
Nosy Mom: Aw too bad. Well if your grades are good you could look at Blahblah College too.
Student: I have about a 3.3. And my SAT is 1500. Jason W. said forget BlahBlah College and he should know, he has a 4.2.
Nosy Mom: Oh really? Hm, I didn’t know that.</p>
<p>So you see how this could go? Nosy Mom doesn’t even have to snoop in the files. If she’s just sitting there she could learn a lot. The point is – that parent is misusing the information, and the school needs to know that’s happening.</p>
<p>(@Pizzagirl, does anyone ever say you have kind of a strident tone? I’m sure you are unaware? I apologize if I am reading you wrong)</p>
<p>to Ready:</p>
<p>Does this center receive any Department of Education funding? If it does, your friend has had her rights under FERPA violated. IIRC, Under the act, institutions receiving Department of Education funding, cannot share information about a minor student with anyone who is not the student’s parent/guardian, teacher/tutor, counselor, or administrator.</p>
<p>Even if one is not handling confidential info while volunteering, folks talk, security people bring in students, etc. and one could pick up a lot of info just being a fly on the wall.</p>
<p>It’s a shame we have to spell out for people that there are some things that should go in one ear and out the other. It’s also a shame that schools are so understaffed that they have to put out a call for volunteers to staff the functions that make a school run smoothly. (i.e., parents get asked to answer phones for the guidance dept. so they can put together confidential materials, have staff meetings, etc. There is noone else around to handle calls.)</p>
<p>Constant…I am familiar with FERPA, but unfortunately it does not prevent the sharing of educational records with school volunteers. In fact, on the federal website, it specifically states:</p>
<p>“The new FERPA regulations specifically allow the transfer of education
records without notification to student or consent by the student to contractors or volunteers
who provide institutional services or perform school functions, as long as the contractor or
volunteer is required to protect the records in accordance with FERPA.”</p>
<p>Information about students is CONFIDENTIAL and volunteers should NOT have access to this. It is a violation of your right to privacy. Contact the school with your concern. You don’t have to mention names…but you can say that a school volunteer knew about your child’s grades, etc when this information should not have been known by that person.</p>
<p>Such people make me Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick Sick. I have nothing more to say.</p>
<p>This is just sick. Has it come to the point that adults have no lives and can only live through their childrens’ lives? I would stop talking to her about my kids and hers. Ask her what she thinks of the Iranian elections. Oh, and yes, I would talk to her boss.</p>