<p>It’s not like the OP is picking out potential significant others for her son. She’s just trying to help him find the best fit college like a lot of parents on CC do.</p>
<p>I’m still confused whether the OP is the student…or the kiddo. Past posts under this screenname appear to be from a STUDENT, not a parent.</p>
<p>to thumper1,</p>
<p>I hope OP is a student, not his/her parent.</p>
<p>Guilford is Quaker and liberal. Lots of students with a concern for social justice and inclusion. I don’t think being gay there would be any problem.</p>
<p>I would suggest choosing a big, gay-friendly city (San-Francisco, NY).</p>
<p>“Lots of students with a concern for social justice and inclusion.”</p>
<p>I am always scared by that crowd. I still remember a student-sponsored event, where a kid with bullhorn was asking passersby to join <em>discussion</em> on tolerance and inclusion. I almost suggested him to put his bullhorn down. Then realized, that it’s probably hopeless. If he doesn’t understand that a bullhorn and discussion never go together, it’s just hopeless.</p>
<p>It is absolutely common for parents to want their gay children at gay friendly colleges in gay friendly cities/towns in gay friendly states. It is also common to want that sort of campus culture for straight children.</p>
<p>to alh ,</p>
<p>Have you ever seen a post such as “I am looking for a campus culture that is friendly to straight kids”? I haven’t. </p>
<p>If parents discuss potential majors for they kids - they are labeled “helicopter parents”. Even if they (the parents) are paying for the majors. </p>
<p>Here a parent (hopefully, a student) is asking other parents to recommend a college where his gay son can find gay friends.</p>
<p>alh – In NC, as in all states, young people are far more accepting of same-sex marriage than their parents and grandparents. The speaker of the NC House acknowledged himself that the anti-same-sex marriage ban would be overturned within a generation. (Yes, I know, then why did they push it? Those particular legislators were appealing to their base.) Based on very rapidly changing attitudes in NC, I’m predicting more like 5-10 years. </p>
<p>A number of counties in NC voted against the amendment, some of them with large anti-amendment percentages. Those counties were ones with higher populations of well-educated people and most are counties with large university populations: Orange (UNC), Durham (Duke), Wake (NC State), Buncombe (UNC-Asheville), Chatham (near UNC), Watauga (Appalachian State), Mecklenburg (UNC-Charlotte), and Dare. The mayor of Chapel Hill is openly gay, as is a former Carrboro (next to Chapel Hill and the home of many UNC students and faculty) mayor. UNC and Duke are particularly supportive environments for gay people.</p>
<p>There are dozens of churches within a couple hours’ drive of my house (in a fairly rural area) that perform same-sex ceremonies. No one is protesting at their doors (at least not yet). My children’s high school has a very open GSA, and their picture is right there in the yearbook with the FFA and every other club. Several of their teachers are openly gay and bring partners to school events. It just isn’t a big deal.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t want to send a gay child to an unfriendly area of NC, but I wouldn’t want a gay child to go to an unfriendly area of ANY state. There are bastions of prejudice in all parts of the country.</p>
<p>The OP started this thread with this:
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<p>It does appear that s/he is sharing an account with the kid.</p>
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<p>Of course not. Because it is ASSUMED that campus culture is friendly to straight kids, as I’m sure you well know.</p>
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<p>Absolutely not true. People discuss such things here all the time.</p>
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<p>In the first place, that is NOT in fact what the parent asked, and in the second place, I fail to understand why you find a parent wondering if their kid will be accepted and feel safe so deeply worrisome.</p>
<p>californiaa: I wanted my gay son at as gay friendly a college as existed. Images of Matthew Shepard filled my dreams. (I have been on this board a very long time) Until college, I felt like my husband and I could protect him. Trying to help him identify those schools seemed like responsible parenting, nothing out of the ordinary. When it came down to a choice between a very gay friendly LAC and a gay friendly university, I wanted him to choose the smaller, more nurturing environment. He wanted access to graduate courses and, as he pointed out to me, a larger potential dating pool. I fail to see anything inappropriate about our discussions.</p>
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<p>Probably not, but I think it’s great.</p>
<p>We wouldn’t think twice if a parent asked “Will my biracial kid feel comfortable at these schools?” or “Will my Muslim kid feel comfortable at these schools?” </p>
<p>So why not the same question for a gay kid? The question is just as legitimate. All of the groups I’ve mentioned are minorities who may be well-accepted at some campuses and not so well accepted at others.</p>
<p>There shouldn’t be a problem with fitting in (every school has its gay students)</p>
<p>Years ago a prospie at our daughter’s LAC posted that he was disappointed there was no gay support group. He didn’t recognize that at some schools there is no longer a need for that particular group.</p>
<p>alh, last year Princeton Review named Whitman the #12 most LGBT friendly school in the country. Students there talk about sexual identification being on a spectrum. Fraternities and sororities have openly gay members. I don’t know about the others, but I think Whitman would be a welcoming place.</p>