jazzpianodad wrote “Boston and New Haven do not have the resources for a jazz musician outside of school that New York has” I would say Boston is not New York but it also has a lot more entry points for a young Jazz musician thanks to the University culture and Emerson, Berklee, Mass Art, SMFA, MIT, NEC etc… Boston can be a great city for a young performer to get their sea-legs before moving to NYC.
Also do not forget that Harvard now has a joint program with Berklee.
One of my son’s closest friends is a jazz piano major at NEC. He was a National Merit Finalist and his parents are academics, University faculty. They were really nervous about “letting” him major in music, as we all were, but looking at our kids now, I think we’ve come to realize that they’re going to be “done” in two years when they graduate. His friend is a brilliant pianist, even by elite conservatory standards, but there would be nothing to keep him from continuing on to pursue an academic career if he chooses. In fact, I think it would probably be easier for all of our kids to go get graduate degrees in other fields and pursue other careers than stick to music, especially performance.
I’ll also say this. I remember being so amazed how much these kids matured musically in high school. Now that they’re in college, the growth is exponential and not just musically. This idea that dedicating these four years solely to music, perhaps ultimately as a detour, is going to set them back just isn’t the case. I’m starting to think that although we parents think that we’re guiding our kids, we’re really just chasing after them…
And kids do academics then music as well.
So many great posts on this thread, very cheering 
thanks all of you. Especially appreciated @jazzpianodad. I found some helpful articles elsewhere that I will post later, and these list the LAC with music and the conservatory/attached to schools. They confirm what is said here but I wish had seen them at the beginning and not been in a panic over the list. Now I am digging into this and figuring out where to visit.
Pretty sure my son is not going to be getting into Harvard,… so that’s that.
I am in contact with some of these schools and have heard back with specific and helpful responses, which I appreciate. My son will figure out more what he wants as we visit the schools. The immediate goal for me was to figure out a big enough list, and then research and figure out a smaller list of where to visit. So thanks for helping me make a lot of progress on that.
On Wesleyan, I thought Wesleyan was a lovely school. What I meant was this–we went to the music department. They told me that the jazz ensembles meet 1 time per week and anyone can enroll. I think they are known for world music. That isn’t going to be what my son wants. That is all I meant. Some of the other LAC with music will be better for us if we want to go that route. Not taking anything away from them, don’t want to disparage them. Yes they have the ensembles.
I am aware of challenges in terms of whether a student not in the conservatory/music school can be in ensembles. We’ll explore that and issues around availability of lessons, etc.
Oh, and I did hear back from Carnegie Mellon in great detail about how their program works, and that they don’t have jazz instruction==only piano performance in classical.
Thanks folks. I’ll be back later after we’ve done some visits and made some progress.
As you know, in many cases being a BA student where BM’s are offered as well, will mean lesser opportunities versus the BM students but there are exceptions. I imagine Bard would be one since jazz is not in the conservatory.
I wonder if your son will end up doing a BM. There are so many good programs affiliated with both LAC’s and universities.
Posters here have made the point that majoring in music can work out in many unexpected ways
I like the suggestion of applying to different types of programs so you have choices. We have lots of experience at Vassar …double majors in music and science. See all my posts over the years…Vassar music including their jazz program is excellent! S1 chose Vassar over an acceptance in the jazz program at a conservatory. He wanted the double major with science and went on to graduate from a top grad school. Vassar’ s math and physics provided a solid background. He plays in three musical groups now and works in his chosen field. Please visit in person and check out the vibe at a rehearsal…it really helped us decide! We visited approximately twelve rehearsals starting junior year and it was worth the time and effort!
Vassar makes lists on here all the time for music 
Here are the BA programs near NYC that I posted above, with Vassar’s jazz ensembles. Chemusic so glad your family had such a good experience at Vassar…
https://www.sarahlawrence.edu/undergraduate/arts/music/
https://music.vassar.edu/ensembles/jazz.html
http://music.bard.edu/about/ (not the conservatory)
http://jazz.columbia.edu/
Thank you compmom for all your contributions to CC over the years! They have helped many people. I agree with your suggestions near NYC. As to the Hartt School, I did a dual degree in performance and chemistry there many years ago and we knew someone who did the jazz program and made many contacts in NYC through it.