I’m sorry about your older child’s diagnosis. I know it’s a lot (financially and emotionally) to handle.
I think I can answer your question. It’s much more straightforward than what you are thinking.
Extraordinary medical expenses DO count as a special circumstance. You need to keep a close accounting of all out of pocket medical expenses for the year you are documenting on CSS (which is the tax year two years before each fall semester) and for medical expenses incurred the following year up to current date. Include transportation costs too if that’s a factor.
Colleges will not consider any anticipated future expenses. They do not consider that you might have to redirect some of child #2’s college fund to future care of child #1. That’s considered a personal matter of prioritization. Hope this helps.
And of course, this is relevant primarily to colleges that meet full need.
I have a question: From you deep knowledge of the research, what is the current thinking on the role of marijuana in triggering the onset of psychotic disorders in susceptible people? We hear about this from time to time, but I’m not sure if it’s settled science. I have a friend who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 40 years ago (they called it manic depression back then), when she was a sophomore in college. She believes that smoking pot played a role in the onset, and, keeping in mind the possible genetics of mental illness, firmly counseled her two children about marijuana use when they were in HS and college.
@brantley I will tell you what I heard a woman lecturer say a few years ago. She said she had worked in the field for about 20 years. I wish I could remember her credentials, but I recall being impressed by her.
She said she is absolutely convinced that marijuana can cause psychosis, and not just in those predisposed to developing mental illness. She said the horrible part is that once the kids stop smoking pot, the psychosis doesn’t go away.
So with that in mind, I would think that pot absolutely could trigger the illness.
My kids’ psychiatrist has told my younger two kids, “Kiddos, you know you HAVE to stay away from pot, because you have a predisposition based on the fact that your brother has schizophrenia.”
I know other people may not agree with this view, but I’m just sharing what I’ve been told.
I have a friend who tells me pot helps her son greatly. Uh, yeah… this is the kid who got caught in a mall department store after hours on a lark. He happened to pick up a cheap necklace on his way out, then the security guards caught him. That legal battle lasted a couple of years. And then one fall morning a couple of years ago, my friend got a call that a passerby had spotted him lying beneath a bridge, miles away from his campus. He was in a coma for weeks and was darned lucky to survive. To this day, he has no memory of how he got there. Pot sure helped him a lot. He still smokes it every day.
@brantly - it is a component cause, effects dependent on age of onset of taking it, how much, family history, childhood trauma, and even genes. It is not a risk I would want to take and have advised my kids and my clients against it. Note that we are not talking medical marijuana/ CBD.
The problem is… it will alleviate the pain of underlying conditions by allowing the person to ‘check out’. This is what all addictive substances and behaviors will do. So I can understand @MaineLonghorn 's friend who insists that marijuana helps her son. I’m sure it does on some level - but it is also extremely dangerous.
Even for those not at risk of psychosis, any kind of numbing behavior, or checking out of reality, done on a regular basis, is not conducive to living a whole and full life.
The people who sell drugs have the most vested interest in promoting them as safe, followed by people who want to justify their own drug use, so their opinions cannot be trusted. In any individual case, there might be room to debate whether a person was self-treating prodromal symptoms, rather than actually triggering the psychosis. Either way, Marijuana is dangerous for individuals with or at risk of psychotic disorders.
I think you also have to consider what else may be in the “weed” besides pure marijuana. Marijuana is used to help with seizures, but my daughter had to be rushed to the hospital with a seizure after smoking only a little with friends. We concluded that there were probably some sort of additives in that batch. I have no idea whether pot in its safe, pure form, can trigger psychosis but I would not be surprised (depending on strength, how long smoked etc.)Still, it can be helpful to some and is used for various medical purposes (including, as I said, epilepsy).
I can see using medical marijuana if it was under the care of a physician. It’s a medicine that needs to be used properly. I wouldn’t recommend it, otherwise.
I am not and would not question your D’s use of marijuana for epilepsy. But, it is important to clarify - (1) There is no such thing as a “safe, pure form” of marijuana; and, (2) “helpful to some” does not include un-prescribed use by people at risk of psychotic disorders.
Marijuana is prescribed to treat some medical conditions and many people can use it without serious side-effects – that is precisely what makes it attractive and dangerous to people for whom its use is inappropriate.
All medicines have side effects, even prescribed pharmaceuticals. I know people who hate their medication as it makes them feeling nothing: it numbs the bad stuff, but also the good. Medications can also cause nausea (needing more drugs) and weight gain. Not all controlled drugs work for everyone either.
The controlled drugs are, however, known to doctors, pharmacists and so on. Street drugs are not. And because street drugs are criminalized, it is very hard to do any proper research.
Research was underway on the use of MDMA (ecstasy, molly) in relationship counseling, as it increases levels of oxytocin the chemical of connection and intimacy. Also research into LSD. All this was stopped when the drugs were criminalized.
People also turn to ayahuasca, and other plant medicines. In the correct setting these are also known substances, at least to the local people who understand the effects, and where taking them is done in a controlled way.
Research has begun in the last year or so at Imperial College London on the benefits of psilocybin (a hallucinogen) on severe depression. It helps according to early findings.
If we knew more about these drugs and had more control over them, we would be able to advise people on appropriate use. As it stands, users are operating blindly - and that is the scary thing.
To clarify, my daughter with epilepsy was not using it for medical purposes. She is on an anticonvulsant. However, she had talked with her doctor about using it with friends. She never drinks and in college, would only smoke a minimal amount very infrequently because she doesn’t like the effects. That was several years ago and she doesn’t smoke weed at all.
My other daughter, however, who has bipolar 1 , regularly smokes marijuana at bedtime. Her psychiatrist is also aware. It really helps her, and feels it is better than adding meds.
I am only posting this because I don’t think there are absolute answers on this topic.
My bipolar kid definitely needs a lot more sleep. One of the accommodations she received in college was a window AC, when the dorm was not air conditioned. I agree that it’s difficult to evaluate the quality of services provided. She went through the counseling center but couldn’t find anyone she connected with. Instead, she formed a strong relationship with a nurse practitioner at the health center - this was kind of a fluke in that they just happened to connect. This woman has been a life saver, literally. Its very tough to be 4-5 hours away, listen to your depressed kid and have no means of helping her.
Recently, my kid had to request accommodations at her workplace. This was really devastating for her because she constantly worries that her mental illness makes her seem “weak.” However, she is on a time sensitive project and her team mates are staying up until 4:30am, at times, and then getting back to work at 8am. This is unsustainable for most people, but, for my kid, it could be the catalyst for instability. I’m proud of her for recognizing the danger inherent in the lack of sleep and for having the maturity to speak up. Her nurse practitioner is writing her a note documenting her need for sleep. She also praised my daughter for asking for help. This was really helpful and I am SO appreciative of their relationship.
@MaineLonghorn Can you comment on how to distinguish between adolescent and young-adults behaviors that are troubling to parents (but are within normal limits for the age) and signs of mental illness?
My bipolar friend not only needs her 8 hours of sleep, she also needs them at a predictable rhythm. Throwing her circadian rhythm out of whack can send her into mania or depression.
College students, of course, can be sucked into all sorts of horrible daily rhythms and sleep deprivation, which may make bipolar disorder break out unexpectedly in a young adult whose parents had made sure of a healthy rhythm at home.
I wish people wouldn’t brag about how little sleep they make themselves get by on. Destroying your circadian rhythm is so unhealthy for everyone!
Edited to add that I just realised you were talking about an unhealthy work environment, rather than college. Ugh. I guess people in some high powered job environments pride themselves even more about pulling those all nighters. What a strong woman you’ve raised, able to speak up about her needs in this job!
@brantly, that’s a great question but I don’t think I have a good answer. I didn’t do a very good job of realizing my kids were struggling. We did take our middle kid to a counselor when he was in sixth grade, but she “released” him in eighth grade because she thought he was doing OK. He was 16 when he told me how tough things were for him. I didn’t know my oldest was ill until I got a call from Texas that he was “on the verge of a psychotic break.” My daughter tells me she think every kid should see a counselor at some point, so maybe that’s the answer. At least it would give the kids a place to vent and a professional would have eyes on them.
There are people for whom there is an absolute answer - that use of marijuana and other street drugs is extraordinarily dangerous. An inability to identify, until it is too late, which individuals will end up hospitalized with psychosis after use of street drugs does not mean we don’t know it is dangerous.
Every person who drives drunk does not crash and die – but no one would tell their child that there is no absolute answer about whether they should drive drunk.
It is irresponsible to suggest that with more research, we could advise people on appropriate use of marijuana, MDMA, ayajuasca, psilocybin, or LSD. Some kid who is struggling may read your posts and think that it is worth the risk to give one of these a try, because people just don’t know.
I know the answer on this for the person I care about – that is what I don’t like. Uncertainty sounds nice.
The marijuana my daughter smokes is not a “street drug.” It is legal in our state, and people can grow it as well. There are shops, and you can get a prescription (though not needed).
This daughter had had psychosis in the past. People with bipolar 1 need sleep. With the approval of her doctor, she uses this before bed and it is literally a life-saver.
I know the answer for my daughter, and you know the answer for your daughter. That was my point. I was not expressing uncertainty at all. I was simply saying that this issue is different for everyone.
If any young person reads this, they should check with their doctor, as my daughter did. And they should make sure to get the marijuana from a legal source, because otherwise you don’t know what is in it.
A person should always consult with a doctor before making these decisions.
@brantly - I have been told that changes in behavior patterns (from healthy to unhealthy based on your gut about your child) that do not resolve in 2 to 3 months should be checked by a physician. That would be changes in sleep, eating, worry, working out, seeing friends/isolating, grades, academic motivation…even friend group changes if the group seems problematic. Changes in behavior patterns (from healthy to unhealthy) should be monitored and discussed with a physician if they persist. Unfortunately people with mental illness are just as smart and accomplished as others. They may succesfully hide behaviors in order to avoid being “caught” as mentally ill. It’s not always the kid who is acting out that is the problem. It’s sometimes the quiet one. So a parent should not feel ashamed for not being able to see the signs…as they may have been hidden or the onset may have been fast or sudden. Just as a parent may miss the first signs of cancer or diabetes (why am I so tired?), they may also miss the early signs of mental illness.
So, you may also want to check with your kid’s doctor to see if they screen for mental illness at the annual check-up. A second pair of eyes and ears should be helpful. My D started doing her checks up on her own in high school…so she could discuss any sensitive issues without me present.
I’m dealing with this with one of mine. I believe that a part of Years of puberty, the teens and young adulthood bring out a myriad of neuroses and even psychoses. Those are the years when ,experimenting and experiencing different things, living on the edge, and falling off that edge, are the norm.
Most of the time, folks gain control of these demons. Though they may still show up in flashes and still cause pain and anxiety, one manages to grow up, become self sufficient, and though they may have to play “Whack a Mole” game with their mental issues, they manage to get along. We can have signs and symptoms of a number DSM entries and still be functional. I dare say many of us do.
But some of us do not gain control. For some us, these symptoms run out of control and become complicated with other issues like drugs, alcohol, sex, harmful activities and contraband of all sorts. And therein lies the problem.
All of the kids I’ve had here, my own, and their cousins, and friends have had mental, emotional and behavioral issues. Some pulled it together fairly quickly. Some took many years, and are still dealing with issues. One of mine has serious problems. At no time during his school years, was his behavior way off, though, yes, there were problems. Finished college in 4 years and was reasonably successful in that he was pretty much self supporting and doing what he wanted. Sometime in those years, when his problems and complaints were so like so many others, his reactions spiked upward. Contraband use did. too. And things accelerated from there. I don’t know when it happened because there always was that continuum, but those still within it are still functional and he is not.
I want to thank all of you who responded to my questions and provided your own experiences. This is truly invaluable and I am grateful. As we are in the middle of the application process at the moment, it never occurred to me to call on the college’s Office of Disabilities (once my child knows where she will be attending), but of course that makes so much sense. Thanks again for sharing your collective wisdom.
