<p>Exie—I drink tea–we can both cry into my cup—I am with you 150%</p>
<p>I am a veteran. I’m experienced. In September 2009 I endured just about everything you are expressing. I sent my only kid to BS and witnessed him return happy, wholesome, wildly confident about his new school and his future. It was a successful year. As a parent, I know so much more about this process and how much we as parents also mature over the course of the first year. Did I mention that I was a veteran? Are you sensing my level of expertise?
Then someone please explain to me WHY AM I FEELING SO DAMN WEEPY? Huh? It’s like its Sept 2009 all over again. I wonder if the process truly gets easier with time. Ugh!</p>
<p>Nyl–you had me at “I am a veteran”–lolol. I was smiling and feeling positive because i knew that words of wisdom were being passed on to me. As I was “feeling your level of expertise” you burst my bubble!!!</p>
<p>Thank you for your honestly :-)</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,
A virgin bsmom</p>
<p>Yep - I realized how this process must of ripped my mom’s heart out. We decided last night to leave a day earlier and stay at a hotel together one last time. I think she wants the decompression time. I do too. </p>
<p>Sigh. My kid is a Facebook queen and text proficient. I know I’ll hear from her daily.</p>
<p>I’ll have to fly North and hang out with Alexz825mom. Or we’ll have to coordinate taking the girls to school where there is some common connecting flight - lol!</p>
<p>Tea it is!</p>
<p>I agree with RedBlueGoldGreen – things would be different even if my son stayed here. They are at an age where everyone and everything changes! Things were different this summer. He went from being a bit of a homebody to a kid who wanted to be out playing cards or basketball with his friends until the last minute of his curfew. This past week, he’s started spending more time on the couch again, and talking to us more than he talked to us for most of the last school year! As nervous as he may be, he is very excited, and that is making the whole transition easier for me.</p>
<p>All that aside, I’m just going to miss him, but I guess I started missing him even before I knew he was going away.</p>
<p>12 more days to go… nyl I feel the confused too- why am I feeling so blue about DS leaving when this is his second year at BS? I should be a pro by now too. I think I just got used to him being home all summer. I can’t get too sad though because he is looking forward to seeing his friends again- although not looking forward to the work! haha</p>
<p>BS has been a great experience for him academically and socially although he’ll never be a social butterfly! I keep reminding myself of the positives every night!</p>
<p>Today and tomorrow is all we have left, if you don’t count the long car ride on Wednesday.</p>
<p>We’re just starting the application process for our older D, but this week, both my wife and I reflected on the fact that, should it transpire that she ends up going to boarding school next fall (2011)…we only have about a year left of having her at home full time.</p>
<p>It kind of took the bloom off the rose for me; the excitement of having visited a few amazing schools this summer replaced with the reality that if she does go away, she won’t be around Sept-June to share some of the laughs and teachable moments that are part of everyday family life.</p>
<p>I’ll still support her enthusiastically through the entire process — through January 15th and March 10. But I’m definitely hoping the coming months go very slowly.</p>
<p>there is 1 more day to go…! we are flying (from asia) 25 hours to Boston area tomorrow to send my son to his school. He is excited and bored of the long summer vacation I guess. I am very sure I will miss him a lot. I have a strange feeling that both happy for him and also feel sad that he is leaving home…I am asian (chinese), when I go through this thread and know that as parants we are all the same regardless of race and nationnality. 2 days ago, my family were listening a song when driving, and the lyric was from an old chinese poem - talking about how close relatives & friends would miss each other when live fa away…people watch the moon and hope their relative or friend would be fine and watching the same moon…I will do skype…but the deep feeling of missing my son can not be totally replaced by new technology.
The only last time I feel so strongly like this was the time my son was born. I feel responsibility. I feel grown up.
This time, I feel I am reaching another milestone in my life.
I hope my son will be happy, I want him to have 3 years of great experiences in a top US boarding school. I know it is the best we can give to him.
But I am (will) miss him!!!</p>
<p>that old chinese poem I mentioned…was from song dynasty in china 1000 years ago. I can recite that poem when I was in high school, it was beautifaully written. But when I am facing a situation of having my son to be far away, I have a whole new level of understanding that poem.
People miss their family and friends…from 1000+ years ago!</p>
<p>Kli–beautifully put, another milestone in OUR lives too. I have to admit I am somewhat surprised when people ask me how am I doing about the decision for my d to attend bs. I let them know that I am going to miss her and would rather have her home with me, but this is an opportunity of a lifetime for her.</p>
<p>I believe it takes a “special” parent to put the the needs of their child(ren), ahead of their own. </p>
<p>Have a wonderful trip :-).</p>
<p>Kli - your sentiment about the moon and missing someone touched me because I have often thought this (about the moon) when missing those far away. So I just did a search of Chinese poems – could this be the one you were thinking of (by Zhang Jiu Ling) ?</p>
<p>Thinking afar in moonlight<br>
A bright moon rising over the sea,
Shores apart, watching the same
Is someone dear to me.
I loath this endless night;
And could not sleep but think of thee.
In this full moon light,<br>
Who cares for candlelight?
Stepping out I don my gown,
And feel dew on the ground.
I wish to offer you moonlight in a handful,
But, to my real shame, ‘tis impossible.
Retirng to my bed, it seems,
I might find happier days in dreams.</p>
<hr>
<p>My S just returned back to BS for his 3rd year, and for me, it has gotten so much easier. Last year was still sad, but this year, he was so excited and happy to go back, I couldn’t feel otherwise myself. I wish all of you whose children are leaving for the first time a wonderful year ahead for them.</p>
<p>skibum4:-</p>
<p>not sure if you can read chinese, here is the original poem and its english translation.</p>
<p>“Thinking of You” </p>
<p> When will the moon be clear and bright?</p>
<p> With a cup of wine in my hand, I ask the blue sky.</p>
<p> I don’t know what season it would be in the heavens on this night.</p>
<p> I’d like to ride the wind to fly home.</p>
<p> Yet I fear the crystal and jade mansions are much too high and cold for me.</p>
<p> Dancing with my moon-lit shadow</p>
<p> It does not seem like the human world</p>
<p> The moon rounds the red mansion Stoops to silk-pad doors</p>
<p> Shines upon the sleepless Bearing no grudge</p>
<p> Why does the moon tend to be full when people are apart?</p>
<p> People may have sorrow or joy, be near or far apart</p>
<p> The moon may be dim or bright, wax or wane</p>
<p> This has been going on since the beginning of time</p>
<p> May we all be blessed with longevity Though far apart, we are still able to share the beauty of the moon together.</p>
<p>中文：明月几时有，把酒问青天。</p>
<p> 不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年。</p>
<p> 我欲乘风归去,又恐琼楼玉宇，</p>
<p>高处不胜寒，起舞弄清影，何似在人间。</p>
<p> 转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠。 </p>
<p>不应有恨，何事长向别时圆。</p>
<p> 人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，</p>
<p> 此事古难全。</p>
<p>但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。</p>
<p>Beautiful message, Kli. I am just back from several weeks in the east as my d did pre-season and then started school. I feel fortuntate to have been able to “hang out” a few hours drive away while she did pre-season, spend Labor Day weekend with her, and then do a second goodbye before flying cross country. I think the staggered goodbye helped. I also think I would be dead if it weren’t for Skype and email. My D is socially happy and academically challenged in way she never has been before. I am glad this was her decision and not mine. I don’t think this is for everyone. Clearly, kids need to be very committed to persevere. I am ever grateful for the wisdom and kindness on this site.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing that beautiful poem Kli – it is very moving (and I wish I read Chinese, but sadly do not, so the translation is much appreciated).</p>
<p>Ditto, Kli - so beautiful. I love the one provided by Skibum4 as well.</p>
<p>As for SevenDad - I found that I cherished the last year. The night before in the hotel was bitter sweet. But the minute I saw her smiling on campus and did my first Skype, she didn’t feel so far away.</p>
<p>If anything - the year she spends with you now will be even more special. And knowing she is flying towards something really great not flying away from home will make it easier.</p>
<p>just coming back from the trip - we are all pretty excited that my son is entering a great school, this is truly a major milestone for our family. the school’s admin people told parants to shift from “managerial” to “consulting” role to the child which I am trying to cope - I are reluctant to let go and wanting to do some remote “managing”…:-)</p>
<p>With you kli…it’s hard to let go of that managerial role for me too. :)</p>