Parent/student priorities

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hey fellow parents,</p>

<p>I wasn't sure where to post this but this seems as good a place as any as I have parental things to consider.</p>

<p>Im married with 4 kids and am finishing my time at community college and getting ready to transfer. I have a few options in mind each with pro's and cons. I have a lot of other concerns that are not typical of most students which is why I'm posting here.</p>

<p>First, I have my kids in a government daycare program which doesn't cost me anything right now, with 3 kids in daycare that is a huge saving. Secondly, and this may be stupid, but after living in many places and finding it hard to make real friends, I've finally got a couple decent friends that would probably turn into lifelong friends if I didn't move, I'm not sure how much to factor this in my decision, because I know I want to go to a good grad school eventually anyway which will require moving. Lastly, my age and family responsibilities is not typical for many 4 year schools.</p>

<p>Option 1: cheapest option, I can finish debt free, it's where all my friends are going, I don't have to move and get to keep my kids in free daycare, but.... It's completely unknown, I would not consider it a great school with good recruiting, it's basically like continuing at community college. There's no college spirit whatsoever, and all the class are at night which would really cut down on the amount of time I get to spend with my family. The only reason I'm considering it is for financial reasons and my friends are going there. (OSU-tulsa)</p>

<p>Option two: private school with a way better reputation, facilities, teachers, recruiting, opportunities in general. I don't have to move so I still get free daycare, and I'm close enough to see my friends a decent amount if time allows. Cons, I will end up anywhere from 20-35k in debt after all is said and down, and that's without taking a minor which I would like to do but isn't a deal breaker. I'm not sure ill 'fit in', when I took a tour is seemed kinda preppy and everyone seemed like a national merit scholar. Not that I cannot get along with anyone but we are completely different types of people in different stages I out lives. Money aside I like the school itself better than option one but it's not my dream school or anything. (Uni of tulsa)</p>

<p>Option 3: beautiful campus, I could graduate debt free, and explore a minor or whatever I like, great college atmosphere and spirit, my favorite school money aside. Cons, I have to move 2 hours away from where I am so In reality will very rarely see any friends. I also lose out on daycare and have to pay for that out if pocket, which could amount to well over 15k a year for three young kids, so that completely changes graduating debt free. It's probably not as good a school academically as choice two but not by a lot. I was not impressed with the teachers wen I went there either, my wife would have to change jobs which isn't as bad as it sounds (she's a nurse and never has trouble finding work, she isn't in love with her job now anyway). (OU)</p>

<p>With all this in mind, what stands out as the best option to you guys, and seeing as tho I'm wanting to go to grad school in another state right after my bachelors how much if this matters anyway?</p>

<p>Thanks very much to anyone who takes the time to read this and reply, I could really use some outside opinions.</p>

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<p>I would go with option #1. Fit college to your life, not the other way around.</p>

<p>What field are you studying? Is grad school necessary? What work have you done up until now? Is there any field you can study and enter directly after community college?</p>

<p>I would avoid debt, period. I am not a fan of the rush to college unless there is something you really want to study. And college is not a guarantee of anything, in terms of work.</p>

<p>You are not unusual: the majority of college students these days are not the traditional 4 year college, residential student.</p>

<p>How old are your kids?</p>

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<p>Three kids in daycare? So you have three under five years or so? How old is the next one?
You are a better man than I, Gunga Din.
;)</p>

4

<p>Are all three options academically suitable (i.e. worthwhile degree programs in your major and whatever else you want to study)? By “grad school”, do you mean PhD program or professional schools like for MD, JD, etc.?</p>

<p>You may want to assess cost of each option by including any child care expenses that would differ between them.</p>

5

<p>Atmosphere? Beautiful campus? Bottom of the list.</p>

6

<p>Some people have almost a religious opposition to debt. I think you have to be rational about it and do the math. Sometimes it makes a lot of sense because the opportunities are worth it. </p>

<p>Are you still a sophomore studying engineering? Graduating as an engineer with $35K in debt may not be such a bad option. Especially if you are getting the free day care. I didn’t even know there was an option to get day care for 3 kids at $15K/year. It’s a whole lot more than 5k/kid/year where we live. We were paying $700/mo/kid more than that 15 years ago when we needed it. LOL!</p>

<p>Option 2 sounds best to me on a lot of levels. If you are doing well, you are probably worth the investment. Only you can decide though.</p>

7

<p>I am studying mechanical engineering right now and all three colleges are ABET accredited. By going to grad school I meant a masters degree with a low % chance of going for a phd later. If I ended up not going to grad school right after I think options 2 and three would be decently better for me as far as recruiting and internship opportunities go, but I don’t have any proof of that, just a gut feeling.</p>

<p>My children are 2 (twins), 3, and 14. the way the younger kids birthdays have panned out, they will be in daycare for the next 2-3 years before they can start school, which can easily cost us 15k a year in child care costs.</p>

<p>My work experience up until now is not great and mostly not related to my field of studies, I did get an internship at a land surveying company this summer tho.</p>

<p>It’s looking like my options are between 1 and 2. Uni of tulsa did mention the chance of departmental scholarships but nothing that admissions could comment on and I’m now sure how much I could get. (I’m a 4.0 student).</p>

<p>So now I guess my question is what is a fair cost to pay to go to a way better school with better opportunities for me whether I go to grad school or not? There’s probably nothing wrong with going to OSU tulsa but it is only a subset of OSU which is by no means a top ranking school, and my concern is the hours of class there that will heavily interfere with my family life/time. For what it’s worth, I consider myself a good student while enjoys college and am not particularly looking for the quickest way to get it done, but am also not avoiding having to work when it’s all done.</p>

<p>Thank you to everyone that has read/replied so far</p>

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<p>“I would go with option #1. Fit college to your life, not the other way around.”

  • compmom</p>

<p>I agree with compmom. Best of luck!</p>

9

<p>Remember college is an investment. What is the cost vs. what is the benefit.
Cost isn’t just tuition. Cost is also books, time spent studying, time away from family, etc. ALL that and more are costs.
Plus, remember, government daycare isn’t free daycare. While it may be no cost to the Op, other taxpayers are paying for bill.</p>

10

<p>A couple of comments, based on what I think is important. At some level, only you can indicate what’s most important for you.</p>

<p>I know I want to go to a good grad school eventually…</p>

<p>Stop right there. Why? Do you know that this will improve your marketability? If it is at all possible, I would be looking for work after your bachelor’s degree. Extra degrees do not mean extra money. Often, they mean less. Particularly if you go on for a Ph.D. </p>

<p>Option 1: I would not consider it a great school with good recruiting… </p>

<p>OK, is it going to get you where you need to go, career-wise? If not, then it might not be such a great option, regardless of cost.</p>

<p>and all the class are at night which would really cut down on the amount of time I get to spend with my family.</p>

<p>For me, this would be a big negative. Your kids are only going to be kids for a short time. </p>

<p>Option two: private school with a way better reputation, facilities, teachers, recruiting, opportunities in general. </p>

<p>So, would this be better for you career-wise? (And by this I mean a job after your bachelor’s degree, and not getting into grad school).</p>

<p>Cons, I will end up anywhere from 20-35k in debt after all is said and down, and that’s without taking a minor which I would like to do but isn’t a deal breaker.</p>

<p>That’s money, but if you are more likely to get a job after getting your Bachelor’s degree from here than option 1, it changes the equation a bit.</p>

<p>Option 3: Cons, I have to move 2 hours away from where I am so In reality will very rarely see any friends. I also lose out on daycare and have to pay for that out if pocket, which could amount to well over 15k a year for three young kids, so that completely changes graduating debt free. It’s probably not as good a school academically as choice two but not by a lot. I was not impressed with the teachers wen I went there either, my wife would have to change jobs which isn’t as bad as it sounds (she’s a nurse and never has trouble finding work, she isn’t in love with her job now anyway). (OU)</p>

<p>There are a lot of negatives here. You have to uproot your family for a potentially inferior school to option 2. Paying for daycare makes this comparable in cost to option 2.</p>

<p>With all this in mind, what stands out as the best option to you guys, and seeing as tho I’m wanting to go to grad school in another state right after my bachelors how much if this matters anyway?</p>

<p>I’d go where you think you’ll get the best education. If you are independently wealthy, graduate school might be an interesting way to spend a few years, but I’m not convinced that it would help you career-wise in any way.</p>

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<p>Oh, for heaven’s sake. Can we at least say that helping this family with daycare so that one of the parents can go to school and prepare for a solid career is a huge net benefit to society? </p>

<p>OP, for the reasons stated above, I would eliminate #3. I would suggest that you apply to #1 and #2 and see how the FA, if any, shakes out. If you get some money from #2 to make it affordable with reasonable debt, it seems that it would result in better employment opportunities, and that’s the bottom line for you and your family.</p>

<p>I agree that you shouldn’t worry about grad school right now.</p>

12

<p>

</p>

<p>Mechanical engineering graduates are very hire-able into engineering jobs at the bachelor’s degree level. A master’s degree is generally not required. If you want to go into academic or basic research, you would want to go for a PhD.</p>

<p>Re: ABET accreditation</p>

<p><a href=“http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramSearch.aspx/AccreditationSearch.aspx[/url]”>http://main.abet.org/aps/AccreditedProgramSearch.aspx/AccreditationSearch.aspx&lt;/a&gt; does not list OSU - Tulsa. Have you verified that the ABET accreditation for programs at OSU - Stillwater includes those at OSU - Tulsa?</p>

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<p>I agree that you dont need a grad degree to find a engineering job to support your family of six, and if you do later feel you want a grad degree, you can find a company that will subsidize that.</p>

<p>I also agree that college should fit into the life you have chosen rather than the other way around.</p>

14

<p>OSU Tulsa is an extension of OSU. The ABET has accredited OSU’s MechE and as such, OSU Tulsa is accredited. </p>

<p>Btw, I agree with the above posters that you should discount the third option all together. From what I’ve seen OU does a relatively poor job with accommodating students with children, especially young ones. Frankly, in Oklahoma an OSU and OU engineering degree are on equal footings with one another.</p>

15

<p>One important part of this equation doesn’t quite add up for me. How can you possibly remain eligible for fully subsidized child care if your wife is working anything like full time as an RN? At some point, you are going to lose part or all of that subsidy, no?</p>

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<p>Mindfully,</p>

<p>The reason for wanting to go to grad school is i’m not happy having a broad/vague knowledge of mechanical engineering, I would like to be able to focus on a certain area and become way more competent in it.</p>

<p>Consolation,</p>

<p>Without taking any loans option 2 comes down to 16k a year for tuition, but potential work-study and internships could bring that down a little, plus they mentioned departmental scholarships but nothing they could give me any figures on. Does around 10k a year in debt sound reasonable to you for a considerably better school that’s classes fit better into my schedule?</p>

<p>ucbalumnus,</p>

<p>We have an OSU Tulsa rep that is very active at our CC campus, and he constantly mentions they are ABET accredited. He also tries to remind us that It’s not OSU Tulsa, its OSU in Tulsa, implying that its the same school as OSU Stillwater, but it clearly isn’t. Apparently students from both schools get the exact same degree.</p>

<p>Another main reason for wanting a Masters degree from a top school is because i’m not certain I want to live in Oklahoma forever, and wanted to be marketable nationwide with a top Masters degree, maybe that thought process is flawed.</p>

<p>JHS,</p>

<p>My wife is an LPN, she is currently finishing up her RN studies. With a family of 6 to support on that salary, we are still very eligible for the daycare. Once she graduates we definitely might lose our eligibility.</p>

<p>Younghoss,</p>

<p>I’m well aware of how the daycare is funded, but this program is designed for young parents looking to improve their lives that need a little assistance. I’d like to remind you that my wife is also a taxpayer and so was I before I began my studies. We are both currently studying to better our current situation, I would feel a lot worse if I was laying around at home doing nothing while using this privilege. How would you suggest I should have worded what I wrote in my OP?</p>

<p>Thanks to everyone that has taken the time to reply, it is much appreciated. Initially, I was not even considering the University of Tulsa due to the tuition costs and not wanting to graduate in debt, but if I can get it to around 10k a year in debt to graduate from a much better school than OSU Tulsa, that seems very manageable. My main problem with OSU Tulsa is the fact that it’s only night classes. I would be on the exact opposite schedule as the rest of my family and would only see them on the weekends. Whether it really is a far inferior school to TU is up for debate.</p>

17

<p>I really think your reasons for going to grad school don’t cut it with a family of 6 to support… you should set your sights on finishing your ME degree and getting a job when you are done. You will learn a lot of specifics on the job, don’t worry about that, and your competency will be just fine after a few years of experience. And you should be marketable with just an undergrad degree even if you want to leave Oklahoma.</p>

18

<p>Option 1 sounds best.</p>

19

<p>I really think your reasons for going to grad school don’t cut it with a family of 6 to support</p>

<p>I agree. Plus, in engineering, it’s usually easier to get that first job with only a BS. having the MS could cause you to be over-qualified for an entry position because companies would feel that you’re too expensive to hire.</p>

<p>your priority needs to be to graduate as soon as possible and get working to support that “family of six”. </p>

<p>but this program is designed for young parents l</p>

<p>You say that you’re a “young family”, but with a 14 year old, at least one spouse probably isn’t that young. ;)</p>

20

<p>There’s no college spirit whatsoever, and all the class are at night which would really cut down on the amount of time I get to spend with my family.</p>

<p>College spirit should be irrelevant to a married dad of 4.</p>

<p>Well, you could work some during the day. many married people do that, while going to school. And, you could spend some time with your kids during the morning, and take them to daycare later - they don’t have to be there ALL day. </p>

<p>Why are all of these classes at night?</p>