<p>@alooknac</p>
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<p>I’m curious why you think that? I’ve heard other parents say the same and have been puzzled since one of the markers for selecting students - is looking for those who did. (it’s not a bad thing if they didn’t, but it’s a positive enhancement if they do.)</p>
<p>Just curious.</p>
<p>It sure is impressive if a young teen can manage the process entirely on her own, but I think it’s often a developmental thing. My 13 year old couldn’t/wouldn’t do it all on her own last fall, but would do more of it on her own if the process were to start now, being 6 months older. Possibly almost all on her own if starting as a 9th grader, like the OP’s son. And of course my 16 year old won’t let me anywhere near the college app process.</p>
<p>I like to think that AO’s know something about child development and are looking to eliminate those that are literally being forced by their parents, rather than merely assisted in a developmentally appropriate way. But if they’re so black and white as to think any parental assistance indicates a problem, they should give the spot to someone else, because I wouldn’t want my kid at that school.</p>
<p>Again, I would like to thank everyone that replied. After reading the posts and doing more research I had a heart to heart with my child and we had a realistic discussion about boarding school. Of course we also talked about the realistic chance of rejection. After reading just what is posted on this website, there are just too many qualified candidates. I had to go back and read what I wrote for the parent essay to make sure I didn’t screw up.
I feel emotionally for everyone of you parents going through this process right now. My child would lose it if he found out that I was even on this site. But reading some of the posts of these kids…such pressure…
I told my child that this step in his life does not make or break who he is or who he can become. The fact that I am proud to be his dad no matter what and the fact I am proud that he does his best everyday is all that matters. But like me I’m sure many of you have kids who are self driven. Otherwise we wouldn’t even be talking or worrying about this would we?
I was going to ask more questions about importance of ssat, interview, essay, blah, blah, blah, blah…
But I realized whats done is done. What will be, will be.
Just wanted to say thank you for letting me vent and discover that I am not alone.</p>
<p>In answer to ExieMITAlum:
<p>I did not do their work for them. We did not fudge in any way. I did the work of a consultant, which many parents pay thousands of dollars for. I’m sure schools are delighted to find a student that did it all on their own, and I know they want to weed out those being “forced” by their parents, but I think most 8th grade applicants do not tackle the application process independently.</p>
<p>My kids are creative and very bright. It was a case of getting schools to see what they COULD be rather than a school cherry-picking. They both ended up with very good FA packages and great educations, along with loyalty and gratitude toward their schools.</p>
<p>My son had never owned a suit before we went interviewing. Although applying was his idea, left to his own devices I think he would have applied twice to SPS and been rejected twice, end of story. Instead he had a transformational experience. </p>
<p>When I dropped him off at school his parting words were “Thanks Mom.” He is helping in a significant way with his much-younger sister’s educational expenses and he was the driving force in motivating her to apply to BS.</p>
<p>Alooknac</p>
<p>Thanks for the clarification. It is a nail biting experience for sure, let alone for an 8th grader. Makes perfect sense. Sounds like you have a healthy approach in your household. :)</p>
<p>My child did not do on DC’s own either.</p>
<p>It’s b/c around here thousands of miles away from NE, nobody’s heard of BS. DC couldn’t have thought of applying. It was my idea and DC reluctantly agreed to ‘let’s try applying and see what happens. Let’s consider these opportunities. It’s okay if you decide not to go even after acceptance.’</p>
<p>I broke all good parenting rules hovering, and didn’t heed Exie’s advices. Well, I felt, if my 13 yr old could arrange interviews and flights, then DC doesn’t need BS nor college. DC would be starting a business.
Incidentally, my DH has never booked a flight either in his life. At work, he flies the ones booked for him and stays in the hotel wherever booked for him. I don’t. I book mine and get blamed wasting my ‘work’ time not taking advantage of the service that books the most inconvenient flight at the most expensive cost.
I arrange family vacations and pack my DH’s clothes/swim trunks since I want him to have those there.
I asked my neighbor who was going on a cruise where they are going and he said ‘I don’t know. My wife takes care of such things. I just make sure I take correct days off and not to go to work that day.’
So I figure my DH and I are not alone or perhaps there’re two men in the world who don’t know how to book a hotel.</p>
<p>I called myself an Executive Assistant in BS process. I signed DC up for SSAT and paid for it.
(Did DadwoclueChild pay for SSAT too on his own? My DC doesn’t have credit card nor any money. I don’t give allowance. There is no place to spend money on DC’s own since there’s no place DC can go spend money w/o me driving there. Suburb is so enabling. DC doesn’t have babysitting nor lawn mowing (snow shoveling at this time) job either.)</p>
<p>Anyway, I signed up SSAT, drove an hour DC there, and
DC took the test.
I bought the prep books and DC studied those a little reluctantly.
I made itineraries and we flew out to NE. I drove DC to the schools and
DC did the interviews unprepared.</p>
<p>I told DC, ‘Please please don’t say my Mom dragged me here.’ To which DC replied, ‘I’m not THAT stupid, mom.’</p>
<p>I showed the essay questions and
DC wrote them.
I scanned them and told email/upload those and
DC did. </p>
<p>After interviewing at the 2nd school during our trip when DC visited boarding schools for the first time in his life as well as being in NE - not counting NYC trip when he was one - DC said, ‘I want to come to this school.’ (and I went a silent ‘YES!’)</p>
<p>@paynforward, great account!!!1</p>
<p>payn4ward, the process in our house was similar. None of my kid’s friends go to prep school, so it never occurred to her to do so. I knew she was less than happy and under-challenged at her current school, so a year ago, we took her to an open house at a relatively local prep school just so she could see what it’s like. I told her she could stay in public school, but I wanted her to at least gather information and make an informed decision.</p>
<p>I’ll admit - I dragged her to the open house kicking and screaming: “no one goes to prep school but snobs!!!” She grumbled in the car all the way, but once there, she was mesmerized, and by the end of the day, she not only wanted to go to prep school, but had her heart set on THAT school. I think the turning point was this wonderfully “normal” and engaging tour guide who said “here, everyone is a nerd. It’s cool here to be a nerd”. She sat with the idea for months, until this past fall, when we began the application process. And still, even though by then she wanted to apply, she was not willing/ready to do the nitty gritty of making interview appointments, gather the applications, etc. That’s what I think is a developmental thing.</p>
<p>And, now that the excitement of the tours and interviews and open houses is an increasingly distant memory, she still may choose the local public school, as she is dealing with tremendous social pressure to stick around: “only snobs go to private schools” and (I can’t believe this has trickled down to 8th graders, but it has): “you won’t get into a good college because everyone is smart there and you’ll just be average”. So, now that apps are complete, we have that to deal with as we await the news of M10.</p>
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<p>That is hilarious! I just interviewed a young woman who started a business at nine. Her parents were skeptical. Now they both work for it. You may get your wish sooner than you think - DC will get good exposure at boarding school for sure! Fingers crossed for your child! Only one month to go. Hoping it brings everyone good news! :)</p>