<p>My son has received his housing assignment and contact info (names, address, phone numbers) for his two roommates. He plans to call them this weekend.</p>
<p>Is it expected that parents will talk before school begins? Did any of you more experienced college parents ever chat with your child's roommate's parents before the start of school? </p>
<p>I wouldn't think we need to do this. But, would be comfortable launching a call, if appropriate.</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>I don't plan to do this with the college roommate, and have never done it for the various roommates my son has had at summer programs. They are supposed to be adults now, and I don't think it is necessary or would be appreciated. On the other hand, if the prospecitve roommate happens to call your son when he's out and you answer the phone, I think it's perfectly ok to engage in a little chit-chat.</p>
<p>I did not chat w/ daughters roommates before arriving to school. Most of the logistical stuff the girls worked out for themselves. I met her roommate's parents on move in day. Someone across the hall had given the girls some extra shelving that they had . Roommate's D (an engineer proudly said that he would put up the shelving). Classes are over, finals have begun the girls will be going home next week and the shelves still not hung :)</p>
<p>Never talked to the parents before I met them in the kids' rooms. They each talked to their roommates and made arrangements. Some strange coversations and arrangements but I stayed out of it. Had breakfast with one set of parents when we found out we were staying at the same hotel, but otherwise that was it. Have taken out roommates for dinner and shopping when we visited.</p>
<p>I don't think it is common to call the parents of the other roomies. This is a time for your son to contact the other kids and chat and get to know each other and discuss who is bringing what, and so on. Take an interest and ask your son about it or make a suggestion but it is really between him and these guys. It is kinda their thing now, as this is the step to adulthood....it is hard for us parents, I know...but they kinda are no longer kids and we kinda have to step away a bit. </p>
<p>I never contacted my D's roomie's parents. It so happens that when my D made the first call to this girl, the mom answered and she chatted a while with my daughter which I think is perfectly ok, and I would have done the same in reverse. Then on move in day, we definitely met the parents and we all were working in the room together, getting the girls settled and we liked them very much and it seemed like our kids were a great match. Then on parent weekend, we saw them a bunch again. I know they also flew to college recently and took a bunch of kids out and so they likely know my D pretty well by now. I don't speak to them by phone but when we are on campus, we are friendly and in fact, I am sure I will see them again as the girls opted to room together again. ONCE this year, the other girl's dad called here and asked for my D's cell phone number cause he could not reach his D's cell and he was concerned about something and we realized it was a good idea to exchange our kids' cells with each other. But otherwise, all the contact is really between the kids at this point. </p>
<p>UP to the college years, however, yeah, I was in constant contact with other parents, lol....including today with my senior and her social arrangements for tonight, lol. But not really like that now when in college. </p>
<p>It so happens, however, that my younger D who is heading to college in the fall, is rooming with someone she (and we) know and I do know those parents so I guess it will be different that way.
Susan</p>
<p>I agree that it is best to leave the roommate conversations up to your son or daughter. They are the ones that will be living with the roommate. We met my daughter's roommate's parents when she moved in last year. I have never met ANY of my son's roommate's parents (and he just graduated from college)!! My daughter ended up just emailing her future roommate and chatted over IM...they never did talk on the phone. </p>
<p>If you happen to answer the call from the roommate when your son/daughter is not home, be polite but I wouldn't chat too much...it is too easy to give the wrong impressions....We still laugh about when my son called his first roommate--the teenaged sister answered the phone and said "just a minute, this might take a while, after all, we live in a really big house." Wrong impressions may create problems for the roommates even before they get to college.</p>
<p>When you visit offer to buy the roommate(s) dinner. That's all the allowed contact.</p>
<p>Nope...never contacted the roommates parents either year. In fact this year we never even saw the roommate's parents. We do know the parents from freshman year but it has nothing to do with the fact that the kids roomed together. There were other common events that caused us to meet. I'd say the roommate thing is a roommate thing...not a parent thing. I should add that DS never even called or sent an email to this year's roommate. It didn't matter one bit.</p>
<p>I don't think my parents ever met the parents of my roommates.. they do however have my roommates on their buddy list, and like to send them a brief hello every once and awhile. My mom screwed up while calling me a few times and would get one of my roommates phones instead, and they'd chat a bit and then she'd bring me the phone. We've all met each others parents and we've all gone out to dinner with them at least once, which is always nice. </p>
<p>My roommates are coming out to visit me next weekend for my graduation party, so it will be nice to see them again. There are five of us.</p>
<p>Thinking back, I don't think <em>I</em> ever met the parents of my college roommate! </p>
<p>I don't plan to contact my son's roommate's parents once he has an assignment, but I'll sure take said roomie out to dinner when I visit. (And since I'm sending Mom's Favorites cookbook (finishing writing it now) and a set of good knives along with S when he goes, I expect to be a walking legend by the time I show up there late in the fall, if I've taught him to follow the recipes well enough... :) )</p>
<p>ooh, Mootmom, I hope your son rooms with mine. Since we already "know" each other, we would have an excuse to talk about them. ;)</p>
<p>thanks all.</p>
<p>mootmom- LOVE the cookbook idea! My S is in a 3bdr suite with a kitchen so one might come in handy. Though, a book about how to wash dishes and pick up clothing might be more useful!! ;)</p>
<p>My daughter's roommate's parents did contact me last summer, because they were driving cross-country to deliver their daughter's belongings before the daughter herself would be able to arrive directly from a summer program in a different part of the country. </p>
<p>They were calling me to find out our family's travel plans, hoping that we would be arriving early enough so my daughter would be able to get her key so she could offer them access to the room to drop their daughter's things off before their daughter arrived. (Their own daughter's ETA was somewhat uncertain and not entirely under her control.)</p>
<p>It all worked out. We exchanged information about travel plans and our cell phone numbers and agreed that once we got on campus and our daughter had unlocked her room, we'd call the roommate's parents to let them know that they could drive up and begin unloading (as there was a limited window of parking/unloading time for each student's family.)</p>
<p>THis year will be the first year my daughter has had a roommate- he is a young man- but she is gay & he is straight.
I met him last month when we went down for graduation ( my daughter is taking a year off they will both be seniors next year)
Since they will be living in a town house, I am having fun gathering some cookbooks and such to give to them .
Little nervous about the boy/girl thing, I suspect daughter is more bisexual than completely gay and her roommate to be, looks like Orlando Bloom ,seriously. Hard to bring up contraception when supposed to be lesbian though.</p>
<p>haven't spoken to really many parents of her friends at school except when we are both down at same time- went out to dinner with several but thats about it for contact.</p>
<p>Barrons and Jamimom have it right. </p>
<p>Stay out of it, offer to take the roomie to dinner, be polite if you happen to bump into roomie's parents at move-in. You never know what issues will develop and the kids will have to sort them out.</p>
<p>I agree with TheDad, Barrons and Janimom. It's a roommate situation, not a marriage. :)</p>
<p>Some of the students -- particularly boys -- don't even bother to contact each other before they meet in person.</p>
<p>I do suggest that if you send your kid a goodie package, it's a nice gesture to at least occasionally send something for the roommie.</p>
<p>When S#1 went to college seven years ago, he contacted all three of his suitemates. We took one or two of them out to dinner whenever we were in the area. S#2 knew his frosh roomie from summer program and they asked to room together. I called his mom just to say hi. They did not room together year #2 or #3 but are best buddies and were roomies for a 3 month internship elsewhere. She called once for my son's cell number when she couldn't reach her kid.</p>
<p>I'm actually surprised by this. NEVER call the other kid's parents...because you don't know if the other kid HAS parents. Even if he does, they may not speak English.</p>
<p>Seriously, the US isn't exactly Ozzie and Harriet country. A substantial # of kids don't come from 2 parent households. While your child will probably find out the true state of affairs very early on, it shouldn't be the FIRST topic of conversation. </p>
<p>I can see it now. "Hi, I'm Janie, your roommate's to be mom, Jason! I thought I'd take the opportunity to talk to your mom. Could you put her on the phone, Jason?"</p>
<p>a) Um...my mom died two years ago...so unless you are into seances...</p>
<p>b) "Well, actually I'm adopted. My adoptive parents are a gay couple. One of them works all day and the other is my at-home parent, so..hold on and I'll ask Daddy Paul if he can come to the phone." </p>
<p>c) "Um...you've just called me at my dad's place. I put his phone # into my letter to your son, since I was going to spend the summer with dad. My mom lives in Paris...if you hold the line, I'll give you her #. Please keep the time difference in mind though. My stepdad gets REALLY mad when Americans forget and call at these weird hours. " </p>
<p>d) "Um...well...um....I live with my grandma. Would you like to talk to her?"</p>
<p>e) "Actually, my mom doesn't speak much English." </p>
<p>DON'T!!!</p>
<p>Mine has a single, so no advice there. But he's the most popular person on his floor when he gets a box full of mom-made fudge. He has to sneak down the hall with it because one floor-mate stalks him if he knows a package came. He keeps one container in his room and puts one in the kitchen. I used to send cookies too, but apparently they make cookies a lot so now it's just fudge.</p>
<p>My son was assigned a single and didn't realize that it was SOP to contact his suitemates to plan for the common room. As it turned out they were a fairly laid back group. On arrival we met their families and all contributed in one way or another to basic furnishings for the shared space. </p>
<p>Since we live far away, we exchanged e-mails and corresponded once or twice, sent some photos. It was great to have a personal reference especially since both families have been so accomodating to my son over school holidays.</p>
<p>Taking the social group out to dinner when visiting campus is a fun thing to do. I am always so impressed and gratified by what wonderful (smart, nice, accomplished) kids they are.</p>