Parental pressure horror stories

<p>"Actually, you did "ask for it" a bit in post 17 with the reference to the Stanford meeting and "Why would I pay, etc....." Your position did become clearer later. However, it's not much of a solution for kids already in a great college and still being henpecked about their choices "</p>

<p>Let me elaborate this story and you'll see my POV.
We were at the Presentation and 3 of the 4 professors were to put it simply I,I, Me, Me people. They talked with great pride how they helped students change their majors while enrolled. They also went on to explain these students did all the footwork research for their books they were publishing. Changing their majors gave them more time to do research for the professors. </p>

<p>I've been around the block before, I know when someone is taking advantage of a situation. I asked myself "why should I pay $160,000 for my child to be your unpaid research assistant?" What does the kid get out of it? The professors got free labor and income from their published works. So if these professors are advising a kid to switch majors..... whose interest are they supporting? </p>

<p>The last guy (professor) was the bomb.. he was great, his passion was the rainforest. It wasn't about him... not an I I meme guy for sure. The problem was they saved him for last and after more than 3 hours of listening to the others, we had already made up our minds. I did lean over and ask my son his thoughts and he just shook his head and went "no". </p>

<p>So a parent should have some imput in the situation because sometimes we don't know the rationale of the person on the other side advising the switch. Sometimes having your kid's best interests at heart means your not their best friend and only have happy sunny news to share. </p>

<p>Sometimes you gotta get up in their faces and wake them up. If only being nice to our kids were the determining factor in rasing a complete person, life would be easy. I know parents like that, their children are discribed as "freerange" kids. That is they know no boundries of any behavor as their parents didn't want to restrict them. The funny thing is you see far more of these kids along the wayside than you might expect.</p>

<p>Marite:</p>

<p>Yeah - I was referring to easy majors (don't require as many units to graduate, don't require as much work, and tend to accept more AP credits) and 'partying' as in activities not related to the education. I don't count a lot of the ECs in this "not related" category since working with campus newspapers, working in labs as interns, joining certain other clubs, doing work/study, and especially exploring other perhaps non-required courses, etc. can and generally do enhance the learning experience. I've just seen some students who are taking a minimal load and filling up ther time with non-educational related activities rather than exploring other courses (i.e. taking some out-of-the-box exploratory sessions), or being involved in educational ECs. Really, in some cases, the parents end up paying for an extra year or thereabouts of college as a result and have effectively paid $25-45K so their kid can party. btw - I'm lucky in that I haven't had this issue with my kids myself.</p>

<p>jessie,</p>

<p>Yea those kids are in tough situations. The problem for them is if it's not school. it will be something else the parents try to control. It isn't an easy situation for sure. However, sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do. Life is not fair, life is what you make of it by overcoming obsticles in the way. While most here are fortunate to have supporting parents, these kids are not. The parents are their roadblocks to success. </p>

<p>It might mean they take a different road to get where they want to be. The nice thing about going somewhere is there are often several roads to get there. The trip might take a bit longer by going a different road, but hey, maybe the scenery is nicer. </p>

<p>I went on a long senic route to get to where I wanted to go. Along the way, I got married, bought a house and my 1st child was born a month before I graduated. </p>

<p>They can still get to where they want to go, even if they have to walk it. That's been my point in this topic. The only real person who can tell them "no" is themselves.</p>

<p>Opie:</p>

<p>Can I ask which schools put up the presentation you attended? </p>

<p>Profs are choosy about whom they hire to do research, so students in general must make the first move and show an aptitude for the work and an interest in the general field. In other words, these are not instances of converting students already embarked on a different path, but nurturing an already existing interest. </p>

<p>It's different from a prof encouraging a student who shows up on the prof's doorstep asking advice on what to major--usually after having taken the prof's class. I did it myself, way back when.</p>

<p>marite,</p>

<p>It was Stanford. It was 4 years ago in Washington. The main I I ME ME person talked for 45 minutes about she wrote a book on an obscure 14th century English Poet. She talked about how her researchers had come to Stanford to pursue biology and science degrees and how with her support they changed to literature. She was quite proud of herself. I saw her as someone who may have used her position of trust to better herself finanically. I guess I'll never know if those researchers made out for themselves. </p>

<p>I understand this isn't exclusive of Stanford and all Stanford's professors aren't that way. As I said, if the last professor was the only one to speak... GO CARDINAL! </p>

<p>Profs are people. People who have all sorts of motivations good and not so good. We can only hope that those who advise us, truly have our best interests at heart. I would say 90% of the time that is probably correct.</p>

<p>Thanks, Opie. The prof does sound rather self-obsessed as well as smug.</p>