Parents are forcing me to apply ED -- URGENT!!!

<p>My parents aren’t interested in meeting my GC because they know that he’s going to recommend not EDing and they don’t want to hear it. How are the acceptance rates for EDII compared to EDI for NYU, especially Stern? Because EDII might be an option since I might be able to opt out of ED (bad FA excuse?) if I get into UCLA or UCB. Maybe this’ll be enough to sway their opinions…</p>

<p>I’m sorry for your dilemma.</p>

<p>Perhaps I’m wrong, but something here seems to be missing. It sounds like you really want to go to school in California and your parents really want you to go to NYU (or perhaps just stay on the east coast) … or something like this.</p>

<p>Because, otherwise you’re saying that objectively, your parents know that ED is the wrong decision, but want you to do this anyway. While I suppose this is possible, It really doesn’t ring true.</p>

<p>Personally, without hearing your parent’s side of this discussion, I don’t think I can offer any suggestion at all.</p>

<p>Are we missing some piece of information?</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>You won’t hear from UCLA and UCB until later in the spring, long after the ED acceptance date. You can only opt out of an ED acceptance if the financial aid isn’t sufficient, meaning you have to apply for FA. If you accept the ED offer, then you must withdraw your other pending applications, including the UCLA and UCB ones. You can’t keep your UC applications open, wait to see if you get in, and then later tell NYU “sorry, I’ve changed my mind.” </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>If your parents want you to get into NYU then they should agree for you to wait until RD, or even EDII. Applying to NYU under ED is not going to maximize your chances of getting in to the school. It sounds like there’s something else going on here.</p>

<p>Update: Had a massive shouting match with my mom today, who actually wants me to ED to CORNELL, even though I didn’t visit that either. Plus I’m more of a city guy so Cornell might not be right for me. Anyway, my mom’s reasoning is that all that matters is that applying ED gives me a higher acceptance rate – NOTHING else matters. To her, it doesn’t matter whether I like a school or not, as long as it’s prestigious and I get in. I tried to tell her that I want to go to the UCs, but she said that it’s unacceptable to be so far. To top it off, she said that I HAVE to apply ED no matter what, and that she won’t pay for whatever school I get into if I end up getting rejected from all of my reaches. </p>

<p>She also said that I’m going to end up being a disgrace and going to a community college if I don’t apply ED while all of my friends get into top schools. It’s great to have such great support from my parents, huh? Why else would I want to get the hell away from the east coast as soon as possible?</p>

<p>And zephyr, my parents’ reasoning is basically, “play it safe and try to get into as high-ranked of a school as possible.” So basically, they’re prestige whores who think that not applying ED anywhere is equivalent to ruining my life. I’m completely serious.</p>

<p>The most important thing is WHETHER YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE THERE. Although your parents don’t seem to see that … </p>

<p>Before you do anything with your (stubborn, irritating-sounding) parents, demand that they take you on a campus visit first. Explain everything to them, but it is imperative to you that you visit the campus, and it’s important that they know what it’s like. Just demand that if you are going to apply, much less apply ED, that you have to visit the campus. </p>

<p>Visit the campus, explore, ask questions, know if you will enjoy the school! ED doesn’t improve your chances of admission that much, it all balances out because the applicants tend to have a higher caliber application anyway. </p>

<p>Perhaps you’ll find that you actually like it there, or maybe they’ll reconsider. (Hopefully). Worst comes to worst, they can’t actually make you apply ED. You can just not fill out the application, although they’ll get pretty mad. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for them to apply for you, it’s probably impersonation. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>My parents said that they’re bringing me to Cornell tomorrow to visit. They said that I’ll have to apply there ED after the visit no matter what, even if I don’t like it. And I’m pretty sure that if I don’t ED anywhere and have to go to my safety, my parents will never let me into their house again. However, if I DO get into a top school, I’ll finally get to prove to them that I’m not the ■■■■■■ they think I am. Time to work on my essays…</p>

<p>Hey if you read that post I wrote earlier…do what I did!</p>

<p>There are a few things here.</p>

<p>First of all, I’m surprised that you haven’t visited schools, especially east coast schools. But, not much you can do about that right now. Well … I suppose there is time to do a NY swing. You could probably see Cornell, Colgate, SUNY Binghamton, maybe Bucknell over three or 4 days. Maybe suggest that to your parents. If nothing else, it will show that you’re listening to them. And maybe you’ll love the school.</p>

<p>This being said – your GPA is somewhat low for Cornell – I wouldn’t say that it’s impossibly low and don’t apply, but absent some hook, your chances probably aren’t great. So, even if you do apply ED this all may be moot. I know less about Stern than Cornell, so I can’t really comment as to whether you’ll be competitive there. (I’m sorry to have to say this).</p>

<p>As far as the UCs being too far away. Your parents are certainly not alone in this view. I’m not going to share my opinion, as there truly is no right or wrong here. I’m just saying that it’s not uncommon.</p>

<p>Honestly, and I know that it’s easy for ME to say this, I think you have to tone it down. Shouting matches aren’t going to help. Try to have a conversation with your parents. Honestly – if the UCs are non-starters with them, then NYU/Stern (which is your third choice) may actually be a good choice for ED (or at least EDII). If you can do so, perhaps calmly point out to your parents that your essays aren’t up to speed yet and you haven’t gotten your recommendations. Your chances of being accepted will be greater.</p>

<p>Finally – putting aside the cost of college (which we’re not discussing here). Your parents are kind of right in suggesting that you should go to a good school (assuming it’s a match otherwise). Many, if not most of us think it will be useful, at least af far as first jobs and graduate school is concerned. (In fact, most students on CC probably feel the same way).</p>

<p>Good luck</p>

<p>Thanks a lot for the detailed response. As of now, I’m probably going to convince my parents to let me apply EDII for NYU. It’ll be hard to persuade them to let me pass over EDI though. On Sunday, I’m going to a UCLA admissions seminar, and admissions officers will be there. I’m planning on getting them to “chance” me and see if I have a decent shot of getting in. If they say that I do (which will probably happen since they’ll want as many people as possible to apply), I won’t apply ED. If my chances don’t look good, then I’ll apply EDII. This is going to be a looong semester…</p>

<p>What about applying to a school that meets your parents’ prestige criteria early *action<a href=“which%20does%20not%20require%20you%20to%20attend%20if%20you%20are%20admitted”>/i</a>, such as MIT, Harvard, or Stanford (note, however, that some do not want you to apply to other early action schools if you apply to them early action)?</p>

<p>What is your intended major, or is that something your parents are trying to force on you into as well?</p>

<p>If you end up succumbing to your parents at least know that I’m in a similar position. I have about the same stats as you just a higher GPA and I’m applying to PENN ED. I’ve just started my essays/letters of rec. I dont feel rushed at all just take your time with the amoutn of time you have left and really focus and you wont have anything to worry about.</p>