<p>When I was in third grade I was pulled from my public school to be put in a school for gifted children. My teacher was horrid to me after she found out and before I left (a window of a few weeks)...really resentful for some reason. I remember that she wasn't happy with something I turned in and she really flew off the handle, saying that she was going to call the school I was going to and tell them I wasn't smart enough, etc etc. I didn't even tell my mom about it and had never been in trouble before.</p>
<p>Some teachers are a piece of work and really don't like it when they feel like their students don't necessarily need to be taught what they have to offer. His teacher may be suffering from a touch of you-think-you're-too-good-for-us-itis, a common complication of bruised ego syndrome.</p>
<p>I think this is something that all parents should be vigilant about during this last month of school.</p>
<p>I'd be particularly concerned -- or at least mindful -- if my child was in high school now. These report cards are part of the proverbial "permanent record" if you will. And I think it's human nature to feel a betrayal unless your child is in a "feeder" school where the departure is an accepted part of the school culture.</p>
<p>Even if the school, on a whole, is supportive of the decision, there's always that rogue teacher who might not see things the same way. And to these people your child might become "disposable" (in that s/he won't receive personal help or maybe become the student who is used as an "example").</p>
<p>The kids report this sort of anger/abandonment/resentment, etc. coming among their friends all the time. Adults tend to be more mature than kids...but not always. And if you think about it, if their BEST FRIENDS are having trouble with this decision, is it so improbable that teachers will be reluctant to react negatively to a decision to leave the school? They are less invested in maintaining the relationship with your child going forward and they are more prone to see the decision as a reflection on them personally.</p>
<p>I would be proactive about making the school understand that you are there as an advocate for your child. I would stay involved in school activities to the very end -- sending a signal to your child and the school alike that "checking out" is not part of the plan. And I would stay in communication with the teachers to let them know that you support them and want them to continue providing the support that they (or the teachers in general) have provided to make this wonderful opportunity become a reality for your child. (Yes, I am saying you should butter them up and let them know you're attentive to what's going on during the last month or so of school.)</p>
<p>warriorboy648...I would get in there right now and get involved -- in as upbeat a way as possible -- to reverse this dynamic. Other parents shouldn't wait until there are signs of trouble to do these sorts of things. I wouldn't be surprised if other parents are experiencing the same things and just thinking, "What the heck? It's just one more month and we don't have to deal with these people any more!" That's valid to a point, particularly for 8th graders. But I would caution you not to let your child tap into that attitude as that could tail off into any number of directions -- few of which will lead to good things.</p>
<p>D'yer Maker - Thanks for the advice. I have been thinking about how to get myself "into the school" in a casual way. The only good thing is that my son had a hard time making his final decision. This made it a little easier... </p>
<p>Keylyme - you might be joking - but I was thinking the same thing.</p>
<p>Organize a "teacher appreciation" event or activity? Or just volunteer to pitch in with some existing functions? Chaperone an end-of-year dance...that sort of thing.</p>
<p>And finally, outright graft is not out of the question....</p>
<p>I always made sure to get the teacher gifts to the teachers and administration and staff a few days <strong>before</strong> the end of the school year..... </p>
<p>Now having said that, maybe it was totally irrelevant to how my daughter was evaluated by her teachers and the administration. </p>
<p>But let's face it: it cannot hurt and it does show, particularly in the year your child is leaving, that you really appreciated very much their investment in your child. By the way, I am NOT talking about coffee mugs or dorky candles. Teachers get too much of that kind of thing!! They are just like the rest of us - they would really prefer an orchid. Haha.</p>
<p>Tuesday May 6th is national teacher appreciation day. My kid's school makes sure to let all the parents know it is coming. (Hint, hint). This year I was thinking of carnations and those recyclable shopping totes (both).</p>
<p>There's only a couple weeks left to school and I have been anxiously waiting for it to end and then my son received a couple nice comments supporting his decision to attend BS. The one that made him really happy was from his geography teacher (a really cool teacher that went to Taft). This teacher wrote in his yearbook that he would be missed... and then ended his comment with "boarding school is going to be the most incredible time of your life!? His new lax coach told him that he made the right choice..</p>
<p>I've also begun to tell whoever asks that my son is going to boarding school. Most people just look at me. I'm sure it's the talk of some our aquaintances..</p>
<p>We continue to get support from many people, but still get funny comments. My D had a soccer game yesterday. The word is going around within the team that she will not play next year. One of her teammates came up to her and said "I heard you are going to boarding school next year, what did you do?"</p>
<p>The "what did you do?" question is a common one. My well-behaved daughter who chose to do her last two years of high school at Interlochen Arts Academy got asked that a lot. "You go to boarding school? What did you DO????" Now in my other kid's case.....:)</p>
<p>We've never had those comments; maybe because we live in close proximity to several of the NE bs and people are more aware of them. Whenever I mention that my son is at NMH, people generally comment on what a great place it is and what a wonderful opportunity, etc.</p>
<p>I think the hardest part is explaining it to people who have children in the very public school system we are leaving. It's hard to not sound negative about it (it's not the worst in the world, but...not great) and then of course it can sound weird that they have kids there. We live near several great boarding schools as well, so I think a lot of people get it on many levels, but can't imagine it themselves. Then there is the whole "wow, that's expensive" comments, or something like that. So of course we tell them we got a great FA package, but it's hard. We live in a small town, and so word "travels."</p>
<p>We I told my friends that son will attend BS this fall, they keep on ask me why and tried to find out 'behind the scene story'. They though maybe something wrong about our marriage or son did something bad.</p>
<p>I just smiled and did not say much (actually, I did not know what to say).</p>