Parents' Cafe: Why Are We Doing This?

<p>My son has been having a difficult time deciding between BS and his present day school. Both great choices. I really thought he should choose BS... Well he did and now I'm a little apprehensive even though I know that the school is a perfect fit. He'll only be 1.5 hours away but I'm thinking about the games I won't attend and the parents I won't meet and of course the $$$ I need to save. I just hope I can sleep tonight....</p>

<p>I'm glad he made the decision warriorboy! I know how hard it was for him. In the long run, the opportunities he's giving up at his day school, will be outnumbered by new ones at boarding school. </p>

<p>The other day my son made us laugh - he has such a great sense of humor and had picked up a jelly bean off the floor - 5 second rule - well it had dog hair on it and it was sooooo funny when he put it in his mouth. I almost cried, at how I'm going to miss his humor. I know I'll miss more than that, but it just hit me then. </p>

<p>It is hard as laxtaxi said, to listen to other parents who simply don't "get" boarding school.</p>

<p>I feel like I am just starting to figure out this parenting thing, and I would really like another couple years to apply what I've learned. Instead, both S & D will be leaving in the same year - leaving us empty-nested. We won't see S for 10 months and D will likely be 3.5 hours away. </p>

<p>Cue the song "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof.</p>

<p>When I tell people that two of my daughters are attending (or will be attending) boarding school, and the first thing out of their mouth is "Oh, I couldn't do that. I couldn't let my daughter go away", I start to wonder if there is something wrong with me as a parent, that I am so willing to let not one or two, but three of my daughters go away to school at age 14. (My youngest will be applying to school in the fall.) But then I think of the benefits that my daughter is receiving from living away from home, the confidence she has gained, and the improvement in our relationship and I know the other two will also reap similar benefits, and then...I am okay again. </p>

<p>It would be easier, financially and emotionally, to have my children stay at home and attend the local public or private day school. This is a sacrifice all the way around, but it is one I am willing to make, because I think the benefits outweigh the challenges.</p>

<p>Don't forget that there are plenty of incredibly good day schools.</p>

<p>AFTER we sent the check and the decision was all finalized, my husband and my D and I are all happy. Part of why I am still checking CC is for confirmation bias. We are doing the best thing for her, we thought long and hard during each step of the way, and if the whole thing is a mistake, we are willing to work with that, too. </p>

<p>I am tremendously relieved that this long process has come to a fruitful conclusion. A year ago we just had a couple ideas scratched on paper.</p>

<p>The thing that always bugged my daughter when she told people she was going to boarding school was when they asked "What did you do?" implying that she had been "sent off" for bad behavior or something.</p>

<p>MomofWildChild:
But not so untrue for S? </p>

<p>Just kidding...</p>

<p>warriorboy...I trust the revisit went well? My son told me that your son had decided to attend. Yes, it is difficult and I do miss my son, but I speak with him every day and 1 1/2 hours is not very far. You can still attend all of his games. (I haven't missed a single one of my son's yet). Your son can come home most w/e's if he wants (you can drive him home with you after his game....just make sure he gets his paperwork in by Wednesday afternoon). And, I think I am meeting more parents at NMH this year than I did during my son's first year in his public hs. I introduced my self to the parents at the games, made roster cards for everyone, and went out of my way to be friends with the other parents. Also, I have taken advantage of the different volunteer opportunities NMH offers and look forward to meeting parent during those activities. My son is good friends with two students whose parents are faculty and has spent the night at their homes...so now I know their parents as well. I really do feel a part of the school.</p>

<p>Thanks everybody,
SkiBum4 My mom has visted the school, twice, I think that's the reason she's letting me go in the first place. She's pretending to be happy, but I know her to well to let it fool me.
Laxtaxi- I think she's trying to "wean" herself off of me. She stopped playing in my hair (A favorite pastime of hers), She's stopped walking with me in the afternoon, she's stopped speaking with me in spanish.(My big sister and brother don't speak it, a request of their father.) I get no more morning Hugs.
It's really small stuff, but it bothers me still.</p>

<p>dazzle - tell your mom what you are telling folks here. She will appreciate hearing from you how you feel and it'll be good practice on communicating with her in preparation for BS</p>

<p>p.s. what a shame your older sister and brother's father doesn't want them speaking spanish :(</p>

<p>I try, but she just says "Poor [babe], you wont have me here next year. You shouls get used to it now, before it's too late."</p>

<p>pobrecita, dazzle.... :(
Hopefully, she'll get over it soon. It's probably just weighing on her right now given revisits and the 4/10 deadline.</p>

<p>thank you Ma'am</p>

<p>(Habla espanol tambien?)</p>

<p>solamente un poquito.</p>

<p>Mi esposo es latino.</p>

<p>Donde esta el?</p>

<p>soy cubana.</p>

<p>Grejuni- I almost wrote that myself! :)</p>

<p>OK, so has anyone made a master list of all the things that will need to be bought and packed for BS?</p>

<p>Ok, I have been really cool and collected about this, but it just kind of hit me when I talked to admissions today about the health insurance form.<br>
That was weird.</p>

<p>there's a thread about that warriorboy...
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/311892-ultimate-supply-list-boarding-school.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/311892-ultimate-supply-list-boarding-school.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>