<p>Maybe this thread should have been started here...sorry.</p>
<p>From my memories of a public high school, late '70s, freshman girls did date junior guys. Their parents may not have known about it, but an active weekend party culture can hide a great deal from parents.</p>
<p>It makes sense, if there's anything to the theories that boys follow a different curve in development. If girls are emotionally two years more mature than their classmates, the junior boys and freshman girls are better matched in that respect than one might think.</p>
<p>nervedoctor - if I were in your shoes, I would attend the revisits at both the current 1st and 2nd choice schools. By attending the re-visits, parent and child will probably feel more comfortable with the choice and tradeoffs. Also, your child will learn more about the school he will attend, meet some people, which will make things easier for all in the fall. Also you should know that your child will most likely take some weekends away from school in addition to the vacations you listed. This happens more if school does not have Sat classes. It could be going home or going home with a friend who lives closer or meeting you somewhere.</p>
<p>Is anyone else an emotional wreck over the thought of child going away?? Broke into tears driving him to school this morning!!</p>
<p>First of all, the Boarding School idea was her idea! But then we kept telling her how unlikely it would be to get in, to get FA. So of course she starting making plans for staying at her current school in her mind. When the acceptance letters came, she was NOT excited, lots of defensiveness about her current school. After a week of deliberations, she is back to wanting to go again, but not without alot of regret about leaving her friends and teachers who she really is attached to. It is a real fork in the road for her.</p>
<p>So now, that she says she wants to go again, I keep wondering about the benefits of staying! (I am keeping this to myself. I am not trying to drive her insane!)</p>
<p>I am counting on close communication between BS and home and we only looked at schools less than 2 hours away.</p>
<p>Is anyone else an emotional wreck over the thought of child going away?? Broke into tears driving him to school this morning!!</p>
<p>In one short word, YES. It takes me totally by surprise when it comes too.</p>
<p>Hang in there parents! Know that sending your child to BS (if they truly want to go and picked with their heads AND hearts) is so worthwhile. Just keep breathing and start thinking of the weekly care package you'll be sending.</p>
<p>laxtaxi,
I am an emotional wreck.. hope we are doing the right thing for our son. he has to repeat the year.... but in the end it seems so worthwhile... i have two in prep/private, 1 at a bs (going to Cornell) next year.. but I am nervous as H-E-double hockey sticks for him....</p>
<p>We different at home. At the beginning having our S going to boarding school was seen by us as a great accomplishment. He is now in his second year at one of the schools often mentioned here and he is doing well. </p>
<p>When he comes home now in his breaks/vacations I find myself missing him more than at the beginning. He has grown/matured and sometimes I think we are missing a little bit of that. </p>
<p>We visit him at his school often (4 or 5 times a year) and if he is having a sports competition closer to home we always try to arrange and go.</p>
<p>It has been a wonderful experience and he agrees with us.</p>
<p>We have both leaving at the same time. This was not in the plans, it just worked out that way. Elder S is in 11th grade at our PS. Very independent, he is leaving September 08 for 10 months abroad as an exchange student in a non-Western country. He will be applying to colleges from there via internet, so when he returns in summer 2009 it will only be for a short time and then he's off to college. Younger D is in 9th grade and has been accepted to BS for next fall. </p>
<p>Both started their respective journeys around the same time last summer and early fall. We went from having S around for one more year and D around for three more years to having both out of the nest in the fall. It makes my heart ache, but I know that to prevent one, the other, or both from going is selfish. Understanding that we're doing the right thing doesn't make the ache much easier to take. They will both have to put up with more hugs and QT with me over the next few months than they might otherwise like...!</p>
<p>Another issue we had at home was to make sure he would not realize how sad we were to see him go. The night before my wife was inconsolable and I told her that if our S saw her, he would get cold feet. He would seriously consider not going.</p>
<p>Now, after all this time (and the fact he loves the school) we told him.</p>
<p>new d - very insightful - advice taken! I'll cry in the car on the way home from dropping him off!!!</p>
<p>I'll have a little over a year to prepare for S departure. However, because he is an only child in our single parent household, I can only imagine the seperation anxiety issues I'll encounter next year. </p>
<p>The solution is adopt a 6 week old pomeranian next September. Of course, that'll mean additional expenditures for Obedience School. I wonder if any dog trainers out there will meet 80%- 100% of EFC?</p>
<p>The descriptions I read on this thread hit so close to home, it almost seems spooky. As if you all can see directly in our house. The family separation struggles, emotional ups and downs, private tearful moments, second thoughts, conversations, financial worries, etc...and the list goes on. It just goes to show you, every family is different, but we all have so much in common.</p>
<p>While staying in a very nice luxurious hotel on the beach this week, my family (wife and D and I) had a long private session (even though we were in the hotel’s library). We discussed BS. We started by acknowledging that everyone needed to be completely honest about there feelings. No one was to say anything just to please the other…including us parents, which is our family “problem”. My wife and I say good things about D going away to BS, but our body language and actions say otherwise. Of course we did not think D was aware, but she is. And my D says things just to please us, even if she feels otherwise. Well this time, we had a true Open-Heart session, that lasted late into the night. There were tears, followed by hugs, and more tears and more hugs. There were also boom-shells (true feels shared) dropped along the way. But in the end, the air has been cleared. We all now know where we stand and how each person feels. </p>
<p>We certainly needed to do this before the first revisit day. We now are ready with open and clear minds. This, I strongly recommend!</p>
<p>After "lurking" on CC for months, just wanted to post that this site has been a great resource, and so many of the thoughts expressed here mirror my own. We started the process last Fall a bit late, really more as a "let's she what would happen", but not really thinking that my son would go away in the 9th grade. My husband was never a big fan of the BS idea. When my S ended up getting accepted by his top choices, we had to take a harder look. At the outset, my husband was quite opposed to my son leaving before 10th grade, but based on good advice found here from D'yer Maker, I urged my husband to attend the revisits; well....much to my surprise, both he and my son came away saying that my S should go in the 9th grade. While I agreed this is best based on the alternative choices in our hometown, I now have to deal with my son leaving, and find myself crying in the middle of the night. We've decided on a school that is just 2 hours away (I have to admit I steered my son to this choice, as his first choice was much farther away). </p>
<p>This whole process has been such a roller coaster of emotion. And if you had asked me a year ago if I would ever send my son to a BS, I would have said "no way". We haven't told friends or anyone yet; where we live on the East Coast, it's not very common and I expect quite a few interesting remarks in the coming weeks. But we are all excited for this new adventure, though admittedly torn about sending off our first born. </p>
<p>Thank you all for sharing your thoughts here.....I'm sure there are many like me who have been silently reading and making their own difficult decisions.</p>
<p>ummm...I know I'm not a parent, but my single mom (Who has NEVER liked this Idea.)seems very grouchy lately. I think this is stressing her out.
Any tips on what I could do for her?</p>
<p>Skibum4, three years ago when we were turning into the parking lot behind my daughter's dorm, I started to cry! I was so proud of her, so happy for her opportunities, and at the same time, so sad because I knew how much I would miss her. And, I still feel the same way! When spring break just ended and I dropped her at the train station, after we had had so much fun with her being home, i cried all over again!</p>
<p>Shelley14 -- that's exactly it. While we're all proud of our children, and know that these schools provide amazing opportunities for their growth, it's hard to miss those typical high school events, and seeing them come home from dates, watching sports practices, etc. I hope to somehow stay very involved and visit often. One of our friends just sent her daughter away to college, and they have one of those 2-way computer cameras, and can see her every morning; she said it makes them feel very connected (though not sure if my son will go for that). I can't even imagine right now what it will be like to leave him for the first time.</p>
<p>DAzzlezzz, has your mom visited the schools? I know this made a huge difference with my husband. Once one has an opportunity to see what these schools provide, its hard not to want that for your child (even at a great sacrifice that most of us experience -- emotionally and financially). Also, maybe she can take a look at this thread and see that other parents are going through the same feelings too.</p>
<p>One of the hardest things is when other parents, whose views I respect, describe why they would not send their own kids away to boarding school. It's not their fault, they are expressing a view. If I was not experiencing ambivalence about this choice their expression would not affect me. My head says this is the right thing and the right school at the right time. My heart says NOOOOOOO.</p>
<p>dazzlezzz - how insightful of you to pick up on your mother's angst. Lot of hugs and kisses always help! :) It's hard for all parents but I would imagine even tougher for a single parent. Reassure her that you will make efforts to stay close emotionally even though you will not be close geographically.</p>