THanks for this info @compmom - I don’t know near as much as I should about T1D. I do know that the endocrinologist is not nearly as strict with dad about blood sugar as he used to be, now that he is 85! So maybe that is part of the weight loss problem.
Thanks for the update @Knowsstuff . Sounds like a good plan to stick with the people your mom knows. Glad it has been worked out.
@surfcity some teens with T1D have diabulemia, meaning they run their blood sugars high to lose weight.
I can understand, given the situation, that the MD would run him high to avoid lows, but it could indeed cause weight loss. Further high carb drinks and foods could make it worse not better.
Peanut butter, cheese and avocado might be good foods if he can eat them.
In case this might be helpful to someone… check out the Diabulimia Helpline. www.dbh.org
There’s a 24-hr helpline, plus support groups, referrals, info, etc. It’s a non-profit run by the D of a friend I met in college. They’re based in Seattle, but have a national focus.
I decided to take some classes in gerontology. Technically Global Aging and Life Course studies. I am stuck alone with COVID and can only watch so much Netflix and whether I like it or not, I am not spending as much time with my mother. First class is on how aging is handled in societies around the world. I am pretty far along the aging process myself 
@Knowsstuff — so glad your mom has had uninterrupted good quality care, even if there was that odd misunderstanding. It sounds like the staff who have cared for your mom enjoy her and she enjoys them.
In this Covid time, its not so surprising there are some misunderstandings. I’m glad the CEO appears to be dropping the accusation and is moving forward with you and your mom. He was probably trying to be responsive to his staff and protective of them. Sometimes people mishear or misperceive things, especially when everyone is tired and stressed.
Some good news! My brother did go see my dad! Okay, it was a day later than he said and he is leaving earlier than hoped, but he finally went to visit. My dad sounds so happy. (My brother not so much)
I’ll get another turn soon as my dad needs a tooth pulled. Disappointed that bro couldn’t schedule it for when he is there, but oh well. My dad is anxious about this and I think he wants me. I’ve been thru oral surgeries with H and my kids and generally have played caregiver in the past.
I got to sneak in a quick visit to see my dad (and mom). Mom was returning to MC from a month in the hospital and they wanted me there in case she flipped out and didn’t know what was happening. That didn’t happen (yet) but I got to run in and see my dad as he was eating dinner. It was SO GOOD to see him, he has lost weight, and his pants were stained (I know the staff just washes everything together, they don;t have time to check for stains etc) so that was sad.
I cannot believe I have only seen him twice in 5 months. Normally in election years we talk a couple of times a week about the campaign, since he worked the campaign trail for most of my childhood. He is declining about many things, but any time I bring up politics he is sharp as a tack.
I know it’s for the best to keep them isolated and I would feel awful if my visiting him made someone else sick, but it is terrible to be away during what may be their last months :(.
There are several different types of Boost liquid. The normal ones have just 240 cal and the high calorie Boost has 540 cal I believe. So really look at the dietary info.
Another product is TwoCal HN (475 cal and high protein) which is also used for tube feedings. My dad didn’t try it but our visiting nurse gave us a couple cans. She said her son drank it sometimes to maintain weight for athletics and that he liked the taste fine. She said other clients who weren’t eating just drank a can for a meal. You can order it from Amazon.
I really sympathize with anyone unable to visit loved ones. My dad (currently at home and doing great) was in the hospital last year and I practically lived there at the time. When he did get home (having lost 12-15 pounds in 10 days) it took two people to care for him. I never could have done it by myself.
@Knowsstuff – not everyone has good motives as you well know. Very glad your mom is being cared for but I’m not sure I’d let this pass without getting explanation from CEO even after her care ends.
@gouf78… Thx for your comments. I will actually be in town after dropping my son off at University of Michigan on the 27th. I could plan a meeting on the 28th. My mother is getting all her care both PT and daily wound changes. So I am good with that.
She will default to this company the “next” time she needs them. She really likes them and has been on and out of the hospital the last 2 years but lived on her own and drove, cooked etc.
So, I will at least call to make sure that is not an issue. All the people that come out really like my mother… That is why this is so odd and many are people of color…
If this person didn’t write up a report that that tells me there’s a problem and she should be dismissed. If she did, then yes, we have a right to know the accusation.
I think the CEO just wants to put this behind them. I don’t have an issue with that.
My mother now has three separate wounds. Should I buy her some football padding?! This means more interaction at least, with visiting nurse and facility nurse.
The private nurse I hired didn’t apply the colostomy wafer (which the bag attaches to) properly and there was stool all over her tummy under the bandage. The facility aide caught it, for which I am grateful. Now I have the awful task of telling the private nurse about her mistake. I considered not telling her but I need her to check the condition of the skin, which was reddened by this mistake.
I am considering asking the facility to let me use one visit to do the colostomy wafer, per week. The private nurse could do the other. That way I could keep tabs on the situation. Or maybe I will just forget about this one mistake and continue to meet weekly outdoors.
My mother can barely make it out to the visits outdoors. The nurse had to help her for each of three recent visits, and they got a wheelchair, which she rejected, telling them that she recently played tennis. Oh boy.
I bought her a new rollator which may help.
Colleges are testing students 2-3 times/week. Why can’t elder care facilities do that, for residents, staff and family?
@compmom. First know that your a great daughter and person. Might not seem it now or be that important to you but you are. None of this is easy but yes,Explain to the nurse what happened and the results. She might just need some more training. That’s OK.
I would try to do a zoom consult with a wound care doctor for advice on the wounds and treatment. I know air mattress that the hospitals have really helped decrease any chance of wounds on her backside. She has to request this each time she goes to the hospital /rehabilitation center. It makes a big difference for her.
My mother was on an air mattress the last 2 years of her life because she kept developing wounds that took forever to heal. Once those wounds healed, she didn’t really develop more of them, so whether or not you can say the air mattress was the difference, at least the air mattress didn’t make things worse.
Thanks @Knowsstuff . Appreciate your kind and helpful words.
@shellfell My understanding is that the air mattress is there to help reduce wounds especially when people can’t be moved on schedule. For my mother she claims it makes a big difference and better for her knees etc. Everyone might have a different experience but the only time she got bed sores is when she didn’t have one.
@Knowsstuff - My mother’s wounds weren’t bed sores, just skin breakdowns that happened regardless of moving her in bed every few hours. The nursing home kept her on the air mattress even after those wounds healed, and she didn’t get them thereafter.
First, I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been in this environment. Back in 2017, it was difficult enough to visit my dad knowing I have health issues that could make any illness caught there life or death for me. Yet I had helped clean up my dad with various staff members because no one else was available.
So, hello again - it’s been about three years since my dad passed. We finally submitted the final estate income tax form in July 2020.
The Executor process was difficult. I found out that one sibling took $200,000 from my dad. The entire estate ended up being $600,000 divided four ways, so $200,000 extra for one kid is substantial. I saw everything from my sibling’s handwriting on a form for my dad to pay the sibling’s mortgage to boxes of cancelled checks to my sibling and their spouse, some even in my sibling’s handwriting instead of my dad’s with only my dad’s signature.
My other two siblings wanted to sue, but due to other reasons, we are biding our time. The sibling above could easily be charged with elder abuse but also has serious tax issues of their own and we hope that will catch up with them. Very unhappy situation and the four of us rarely talk due to the tension. At least all the other grandchildren are older, so my kids aren’t missing out on interactions with their cousins.
I guess my main word of advice would be to be careful who the Executor is. If it’s you, you may find out things about your parent you didn’t want to know.
The other note on the estate is that if there is only one heir, try to get any property in both your and your parent(s) names. We had to pay over $2,000 to get my dad’s will probated in Florida, to be able to sell his timeshare, worth $20,000. The lawyer tried to get $4,000 for us because my mom was not probated in Florida either, but I used JustAnswer to get some case law that said if the other spouse had been dead for many years (over 20), there could just be a note made on the probate for the surviving spouse.
Our final remaining parent, my MIL, got one visit from us in July, masks on and eating in separate rooms. She also got a visit from my spouse due to a health issue which took her to the ER and ended up being a significant muscle injury. It has been nervewracking, especially because we both had COVID-19 (I narrowly avoided the hospital but was seen in the ER) and then had tested negative before we saw her…
I’m sorry to hear about your sibling issue @rhandco ; I think if I start doing financial shenanigans with assorted kids, I would at least leave documents explaining what I was doing, you know, gifts, expecting payback, etc. But who knows what we would actually do when old and vulnerable!
@rhandco - OMG, 3 years?!? I’m only 2 months into the estate stuff and It’s emotional and so time consuming. I was hoping to be done in 6 months. Is that just wishful thinking? The probate paperwork should have been filed this week.
Sorry about what you all are going through. It will be easy for us. My mother really doesn’t have much. My older sister really does everything for her locally and I come in when I can. The other 2 sisters have their own issues right now. There should be money for a funeral and what’s left over my older sister can have. The other sisters can duke it out. Everyone has a money need right now.