Sometimes less is more; maybe it’s time to reevaluate and remove some medications which may be causing unwanted interactions.
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^^ thats true. However my mom is on 2 antidepressants and they have helped tremendously. They are not sedating. The goal here is quality of life. My mother is a very unhappy, angry person, and if meds help her be a little bit happier it’s a good thing. They also help improve her behavior/paranoia.
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It was not long ago that his meds were reviewed and the doctor said they were all required.
My friend, who is a therapist and whose mom had dementia, put it to me like this … our job at this point is to help land the plane as softly as possible. My mom does so much better with anti-anxiety meds.
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Would anyone care to share what anti-anxiety or depression meds their parents are taking? My 93 year old mother takes 100 mg sertraline (zoloft) daily. She also takes 125 mg divalproex. This was prescribed about 10 months ago to help take the edge off. Honestly, I don’ think either one is working. Mom is fretful and angry all the time.
My mom was taking Lexapro but honestly I don’t think it worked all that well.
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Alprazolam is the one I remember. I’ll post if I remember the other.
ETA: She was on Seroquel for a while after she got out of the hospital, but we stopped that.
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My Mom is on Sertraline. They recently doubled her dose, and then when she swatted at a nurse, and seemed like she’d hit an aide they added a second one, whose name escapes me now. Her facility has a geriatric psychiatrist who visits once a month (and can be consulted other times). If possible seeing a geriatric psychiatrist is best, I think.
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Perhaps a review of meds with her MD - and stating that she is fretful and angry all the time. Would MD recommend something else?
If you have a local pharmacy filling the meds, do a free consult with the pharmacist. They might have some suggestions or what can be discussed with mother’s PCP.
I know at 93 they want to be careful to not get her ‘overmedicated’, but seems she needs something to take the ‘edge’ off.
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Thanks for your suggestions. Mom lives in the independent living section of a continuing care community. She has a full time, live-in aide. Several years ago the facility hooked her up with a geriatric psychiatrist, but that went nowhere (mostly on mom’s part). She and the aide don’t really get along and she’s taken swipes at her. The siblings think the aide is fine and very understanding. One brother lives in the same town, but he has little patience for mom. I live 2 hours away and try to call/visit as often as I can. The other 3 siblings are spread all over the country. Honestly the visits and phone calls are getting very hard on me. On a good day she threatens to run away. On a bad day she threatens to stick her head in the oven. Its a little hard to get in touch with the doctor or PA at the facility, but I do think we need to re-evaluate her meds. It’s a fine line between improving her mood and drugging her up.
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Sounds like she may need to be in an assisted living situation rather than independent living?
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If she’s threatening to run away or harm herself, it does sound like she needs a higher amount of care. Sorry you’re experiencing this—it sounds exhausting.
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Because I’ve done this for my mother. Don’t get me wrong… hospice has great services, and I’ve been a big advocate of it for other families. But… psychologically it means that to you (and the loved one, if still with good cognitive ability)…. you have to start admitting that The End is drawing near.
My story (a little different from YouDon’tSay situation): My mom had always been vocal about not wanting to extraordinary measures. (Decades ago she joined Hemlock Society, which later changed to have a nicer name - Compassionate Choices). She was gracious about having Hospice team come to visit, after turning down doctor options for seeing heart specialist etc. But… once educated at intro visit, she really did not want to start with the home nurse visits. She’d say, ‘Not Yet’. It was only my sister, who joined the session by phone, saying “PLEASE mom, do this for us” that she agreed.
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@Mansfield’s mom is likely getting much better care with a live-in aide than she would in an assisted living situation. At least that’s what I found when my mother was in AL. She still needed an outside caregiver because she required more help than the AL aides were available to give. There were too many residents and not enough aides.
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@patsmom is exactly right. Mom is also a fall risk so she needs someone with her at all times. She has spent several days in the skilled living area and she didn’t get adequate care. She was also very confused by the different doctors and aides that checked on her. She got very agitated and angry and the family requested that she be released back to her apartment in independent living early so that she’d feel more comfortable.
Here’s my bigger fear (and pardon me if I sound callous and insensitive) - mom is 93. Her mother died at 91 and her sister died at 98. We could be facing years more of this. I’m semi-retired and I have 2 grandchildren (with another on the way). I want to enjoy this time, but mom takes up so much emotional space in my head that its sometimes hard to make room for the fun stuff. Thanks for listening.
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@Colorado_mom my mother was off and on for 5 year so my view is different 
I did volunteer training at our local hospice and their biggest frustration is the stigma that causes people to see it as “the end is near.” In fact they changed their name to remove the word “hospice”!
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For anxiety, psych. docs used gabapentin for my mother. Benzos like alprazolam worsened her dementia quickly and were a fall risk. She also used Lunesta for sleep.
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My MIL is 96.5. She’s a hot mess. Although she’s in AL, SIL has to spend a lot of time with her. It’s really wearing on her. Yesterday I made the comment that MIL could hang in there another couple years … SIL just said, “Then I’ll probably die before her.” It’s really, really draining, physically & mentally.
I can’t speak for EVERYONE, but I think most of us on this thread totally get it. (((hugs)))
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I actually have heard about a few people who have gotten release from Hospice services after a year. (I think the govt subsidy to the local org ends?). In at least one of the cases, the skilled interventions and pain mitigation has enabled the patient to live a few more years in AL with a much improved quality of life.
My mother was in hospice care about 2 months, alone in her apartment (with my visits once or twice a day) until the last week. She was a “happy loner” and really disliked the weekly nurse visits. But she hung with it. (A friend’s wife opted to discontinue services - that was so very hard on him!).
I do think more people should consider invoking hospice services sooner rather than later. They are free and ever so helpful (at least in my area - there may be local differences)… My mom really liked the pre-planning aspects, no ambulance sent to apartment at the end. And she LOVED, LOVED the hospital bed they delivered. When we needed to move her to my house, they arranged transport and delivered a second bed.
Sadly I’m told that the most common use of hospice in my area is just in the last few days (which was the case when my grandfather was in nursing home). That’s too bad because they can do a lot to improve quality of life in the last weeks (or months or years).
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