Parents cut off tuition, less than a month and a half away HELP!

Paying for College
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<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1370939-what-your-opinion-problem.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1370939-what-your-opinion-problem.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Read this thread. There are students who have irreconcilable differences with parents and have been able to work and make enough money to truly declare their independence. It is not easy; in fact painfully difficult, and many if not most have to end up taking time off from school, and end up going to school part time as they work a full time job to meet living expenses. </p>

<p>That is the alternative. No one can MAKE your parents pay for your college, And no one is going to pay for you, unless you have family members who take up the slack. You are not entitled to a college education and if your parents won’t pay, then you need to find a job and get your ownself in position to pay for your own college.</p>

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<p>While I absolutely do NOT recommend what I am about to share, this thread reminds me of the news article on desperate girls who found sugar daddies to pay for school. I don’t recommend this, but I can now see where someone might feel the need to consider this if they felt an interruption in schooling was absolutely untenable for some reason.</p>

<p>OP, recommendations we may offer may be constrained by not knowing exactly what is going on. While we don’t need to know details, are your parents concerned that you may not demonstrate good judgement or decision-making going forward? Are they completely unwilling to help with one semester, allowing for time to get a plan into action for second semester? It seems surprising that they would pull the rug out at the 11th hour, leaving you with no options to continue school in the fall.</p>

<p>Also, you mentioned stepdad. Is your bio dad still living and do you have a relationship with him? What about extended family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc) that might be willing or able to help in a pinch? Do you have any funds saved? Do you have a viable plan for housing and a job in your college town?</p>

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<p>This post is filled with sound advice. To summarize, OP has four options:</p>

<p>1) reconcile with parents
2) take year off to establish finances
3) find job paying $20k+ annually within the next couple weeks
4) contact rich, generous relative willing to pay for school</p>

<p>The arguments are most persuasive that there is NO option #5) work while attending school part time.</p>

<p>The four options each have undesirable aspects unfortunately. Life is unfair. However, we live in a great country where I believe that hard work will eventually pay off.</p>

<p>I offer my best wishes to OP.</p>

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<p>I don’t think #5 is NOT an option. It’s not an easy option and the OP needs to write down exactly what she needs to do to do that option and give it a go. It may not work out because it comes down to getting money, and it’s never easy to get money. </p>

<p>Many colleges have kids who are hanging around who dropped out or are on leave, a number of whom have had a rift with parents or parents just could not continue to pay for the college, and the kids are trying to eke out a living and hope to get back into school, maybe pay on a part time basis. At some schools, if hired, you can take courses for free. A friend of mine is in second heaven after years of taking local comunity college courses and state school courses here and there as she could, while raisng kids, undergoing a bitter divorce, and being down and out to have landed a low paying job at a prestigious college where she can take up to two courses a term. She has found a cheap place in the student ghetto, and is going to get her degree from there, and she is in her 50s! She is soooo happy.</p>

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<p>The OP says that she made a “huge mistake”. Altho we don’t know (and may not need to know) the details, as parents we can conjure up a few ideas since we’ve all 'been there, experienced that" or know some other parents who did (bad grades, under-aged drinking, swiping money, abusing credit card, etc, etc, etc…there’s a long list of “bad mistakes” that college-aged kids can do.) </p>

<p>“Huge mistakes” can send parents into the fearful dilemma of what to do next and whether they should continue spending tens of thousands on a child who may not make the best use of their hard-earned money. If the mistake was something academic, moral, ethical, or financial and was the result of immature/illogical/impulsive thinking, then parents will conclude that their child isn’t mature and wise enough to spend another $100k (tuition, R&B, etc) for the next 2 years. </p>

<p>Frankly, your posts suggest a headstrong, impulsive manner that doesn’t really think things thru. You want what you want, and that’s that. </p>

<p>One of my nieces is working full time this summer for around minimum wage. Her take home check (paid every 2 weeks) is about $500…so about $1000 a month…$12k net a year. That’s not enough to pay for your schooling and all your other costs. It’s just not. Two semesters of classes (if your $5k/semester figure is right), is $10k right there! </p>

<p>Even if you got a job that pays $10-12 an hour, it’s not enough. One of my son’s friends goes to his instate flagship. Tuition is about $4500 a semester…plus fees, books, etc. He works nearly full time (about 36 hrs per week @ $10 an hour) as a manager for a Chipotle… However, he still needs his parents to send a $600 check each month to BARELY cover his expenses. He uses most of their money for his board. He also has student loans. </p>

<p>And, again, it’s highly unlikely that a school that charges $15k/semester for full time, would only charge $5k a semester for part-time taking 3 classes. That just doesn’t make any sense. No one would go full time if they could get a 66% discount by going part-time and taking 3 classes. </p>

<p>You should read the recent thread from another student who proceeded with going to his school without the funding behind him, he now owes the school lots of money, the school won’t release his transcript so that he can complete his degree at another school. He’s screwed. He’s completed 5 semesters at a school and he can’t finish his degree ANYWHERE as long as he owes money to his former school…no transcript released.</p>

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<p>Yes I did read it wrong, it’s actually $6400. Which is still dramatically less than most other schools I know of but still obviously more than I have. I called the school today and I can set up a payment plan where I pay 25% each month of the semester. I know that if you fill out the FAFSA you can get loans that aren’t need-based without a cosigner, does anybody know if I would still be able to get any of those if I can get my parents to give me the information to fill it out? Or if its too late? </p>

<p>My extended family will not help me, because my parents would NOT allow it. </p>

<p>Literally just asked them to let me fill out the FAFSA and my mother yelled at me that she owed me absolutely nothing. If you see what I’m dealing with. I guess it’s just hard for me because I have taken the initiative to make so many changes and so many compromises with them so long as I can return to school in the fall and they will not allow it. </p>

<p>But if I can get the information, is there any way I can get loans with the FAFSA? I would have until September to pay the first 25%</p>

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<p>What the above posters have said is accurate. If you made a ‘huge mistake’ and were my kid, I would likely be debating the continued financial sacrifice- if tuition is $30k annually, you also have living expenses of $10k-$20k, so your parents ate paying $40k annually for you. </p>

<p>You don’t need to reveal the mistake, but you might think about what happened and if there is any way to repair the situation. What are huge mistakes? Usually judgment errors. Depending on the family rules it could be anything from smoking cigarettes to smoking pot to drugs to underage drinking, DUI, arrested, or perhaps sneaking out with friends, boyfriends, or could be that they are concerned about depression, or maybe it is just your GPA,etc. There are so many things we parents might worry about.</p>

<p>Attitude and communication is huge in all this. Many of my friends have had kids about whom they are very worried and often it is the lack of communication that indicates that your kid is likely doing something of which their parents will not approve and everybody knows it, but they don’t know what is actually happening. Most parents want to help their kids be successful and are struggling to find ways to influence your behavior. Most parents doing this want you to change from a path they see as leading the wrong way.</p>

<p>It is sad and scary for parents to see their child making bad choices, it adds insult to injury to be paying big money for an education which they do not seem to take seriously at the same time.</p>

<p>Can you have the “mom, I hit the wall” moment? Was your mistake something you actually regret and will not repeat or do you just regret being caught? If they are average college parents they want to see you have a great life.</p>

<p>Can you find a way to connect with your parents?</p>

<p>If not, perhaps the gap year is the best choice. If it is an OOS school and public, check with their residency department and find out if you can live in that town working for a while and upon your return pay instate tuition.</p>

<p>The other possible positive about taking a gap year is that if you get a job and support yourself for the next academic year then maybe by the end of it your parents will support you returning to school?</p>

<p>I understand your concern about taking time off, you are on track educationally and don’t want anything to interfere. It is scary, what if you never go back? What if so many things. But try to look longer term. The posters above are right, do not sign on for big loans, take a break and prove to your parents that you are worth the remainng investment.</p>

<p>If you can reconcile, you can graduate without loans and at the end of all that you can look back and decide whether or not you want to maintain a relationship. We don’t know your parents, we don’t know if they are great or crazy, but we are assuming they are normal parents who want what’s best for you.</p>

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<p>You have your tuition costs…for the part time courses. What about your housing, utilities, food, insurance, etc? How will you pay for those things?</p>

<p>Your parents are upset with you from what you are posting here…for some event that they find a huge mistake. It’s time to sit down and talk to them about how to make amends…do something that will show them that this mistake was indeed a ONE time error on your part and YOU ARE SORRY it happened. Perhaps if they see you making a genuine effort to show some remorse for this situation…and make some positive changes in their eyes (whether you agree or not), they will help you in the future with college costs.</p>

<p>Yes, you can still get the Direct loans if your parents complete the FAFSA with you. But that will not cover your full costs of attending this school even part time.</p>

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<p>The discussion you need to have with your parents probably begins with “I know I messed up and I know you don’t owe me anything, but are there any circumstances under which you’d eventually resume paying for my college education costs?”</p>

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<p>Yeah, it was and I completely understand that I messed up. Initially I just regretted being caught but I understand now that it was more than that and I tried to fix it and set something up where I would take more responsibility for myself. My family is very well off so yeah, they were paying for absolutely everything before and I realize that I took advantage of it. All I want to do now is take more responsibility for myself… I tried drawing up a plan where I would only go back part time, get a job, and pay for all my expenses besides my actual tuition myself… which is a HUGE step from what was going on before but actually DOABLE… which, like everybody has pointed out, trying to get back completely on my own really isn’t. But they will not let me go back in the fall because they insist I need “adult consequences”. I’m sorry, but I really don’t see how my parents punishing me by FORCING me to take time off is an “adult” consequence, or how it will make me more responsible or whatever, when I am trying to take the initiative to change things for myself. Is any of what I’m saying making sense? Anyway and if I were to go back they would have complete access to everything… my grades, my checking accounts, my health records, everything, so it’s not like they wouldn’t know if I was keeping up my end of the deal. I just don’t know what to do because I am more determined now than ever to get back to school and do the right thing.</p>

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<p>I don’t think taking one or two years off will help the OP save $15,000.
With the salary of $20,000-$25,000 the OP will not have much left for saving. He/she needs to pay rent, foods, transportation, tax,…</p>

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<p>My advice is to go to the closest CC. You can take classes there and work, saving up enough for transfer to a university. I would give up on this school, it doesn’t sound like you can afford it. You have better options than “I’m just gonna go there and make this work.”</p>

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<p>What do your parents want you to do? Have the outlined a way forward in which you can re-gain their trust and support? Or are they saying you’re on your own to support yourself from here on out? (Even if they’re saying that right now, it’s possible that they might recant eventually if they see you taking responsibility, supporting yourself with a goal of getting back to school, and making amends for your mistake.)</p>

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<p>Your parents want you to think long and hard about the whole thing and feel exactly what you lose and how much they have given you, and how difficult it would be for you to even get a piece of what they have made possible for you to get. </p>

<p>If they won’t budge, you will have to “do the time” and “toe the line” for a year. Or else find an alternate way of getting through life and school.</p>

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<p>OP,</p>

<p>What does your mom tell you she wants you to do this year, while you are not going to college?</p>

<p>Also, is your mom open for you to go back to college in a year, if you follow her wishes?</p>

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<p>With very frugal cooking you can get average groceries down to 10-20 dollars a week-- 500-1000 dollars / year. I do this already, and I make really tasty dishes on that sort of budget. :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>One can probably get a tax refund on that sort of income … </p>

<p>Also since your parents refuse to fund your tuition you can probably forbid them from allowing them to claim you as a dependent.</p>

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<p>Taking someone as a dependent for tax purposes does not require them to pay for college tuition. However if the OP actually moves out and pays for all (or even most of) his/her living expenses, then indeed the parents cannot legally claim him/her as a dependent.</p>

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<p>jennifer, I’m a parent but I went through something similar years ago. Long story short, had to pay for last two years myself. This was 30-some years ago, I was at a public U, and I managed by cutting expenses to the bone, upping my work-study hours, and getting some additional subsidized loans. My parents must’ve continued filling out FA documents…or the rules were looser, that part I don’t recall. I couldn’t have done the same thing nowadays, because tuition and room/board are just too much. I certainly couldn’t have done it without the work-study (which paid substantially higher than minimum wage, and worked around my school schedule) and the subsidized loans. </p>

<p>One comment on something you wrote.</p>

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<p>Yes, what you’re saying makes sense. And I sympathize. What your parents are trying to do (putting on my parent hat, now) is to show you that adult consequences mean there’s no safety net, no parents coming to the rescue. This is the sucky part of being an independent grownup, where if (really, when) we make mistakes the consequences last for months or years, regardless of how quickly we learn our lessons. It can be seriously big-time stuff like going into foreclosure on a house or declaring bankruptcy. As a parent, I can see a consequence like having to take a year off from college as being a serious consequence without long-lasting effects. For you, it feels (and is) far more serious. Different perspectives.</p>

<p>I would agree with others about needing to find a way to open communication with your parents about how you can regain their trust. It’s a conversation you’ll need to have sooner or later. “Sooner” at least has the benefit of maybe getting you back to school sooner.</p>

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<p>Life is all about overcoming obstacles. I don’t think it matters if the OP emptied the family bank account or failed to properly shine the rims of the family Mercedes. That is between the OP and her family.</p>

<p>What you have is a pile of lemons and you need (have no choice) but to turn that into lemonade. And, that is much of what life in the future (for everyone, not just you) is about - making lemonade from moments like this.</p>

<p>Looking into the abyss is terrifying; it appears bottomless; there is no one who can make the journey with you; and you feel so alone and lost. But, you will emerge from the pit! And, when you emerge you will be stronger, more self-reliant, more prepared for the next seeming intractable problem (life for most has many obstacles to overcome). You will look upon this problem and your ability to overcome as a highlight of life.</p>

<p>It may take a couple of years to work through the college issue. But, your posts demonstrate your desire to complete your education and, armed with such desire, you will craft a plan to accomplish your goal - without groveling, begging, selling your soul to the devil, or mortgaging your future. in the end, you will be the mistress of your own destiny; which is the goal of most every person. </p>

<p>End of sermon! But you can navigate through this potentially life altering event and come to enjoy the journey.</p>

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<p>Not with social security and medicare taxes.</p>

<p>And the OP will not have much deductible for federal tax because there is no spending for education and children.</p>

<p>Federal tax table:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.efile.com/tax-form/2011-tax-tables.pdf[/url]”>http://www.efile.com/tax-form/2011-tax-tables.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;