<p>the most that she would receive is a 4k unsub loan</p>
<p>The information here suggests that she can still get her usual Stafford loan limit, all in unsubsidized loans, if she can fill out the FAFSA without parental information. I don’t know how authoritative a source this is: [What</a> happens if your parents refuse to fill out the FAFSA? | CollegeMoneyInsider.com](<a href=“http://www.overturemarketplace.com/what-happens-if-your-parents-refuse-to-fill-out-the-fafsa]What”>http://www.overturemarketplace.com/what-happens-if-your-parents-refuse-to-fill-out-the-fafsa)</p>
<p>If she is a sophomore,wouldn’t she be eligible for $6500 in unsubsidized Staffords without parental info?</p>
<p>If she takes off the first term, the entire amount can go towards the second term along with whatever else she has saved from working during first term. That way she can get a semester done in a year. </p>
<p>Though we don’t know what the total COA for the school, is and how much of that is pure tuition.</p>
<p>Jrcsmom, my cousin’s parents were like yours, and she took the other path and has regretted it to this day. Her school years were all about working to make ends meet and upon finally graduating life was just a continuum of the same. She said it is one of the keystone decisons she made that changed her life and it was not for the better. SHe missed out on the college experience she so enjoyed freshman year and had to scrap for every dime thereafter. It took her 6-7. maybe more years to graduate, and it was no big deal. Everyone was just past that in terms of her and she did not even go to her graduation. She is bending over backwards to provide her son with a true college experience in a way so that he does not have to worry about money and still be a “kid” those years.</p>
<p>Join the military or ROTC. There are still scholarships sitting around out there that no one has applied for this year. Just forget about your parents. You are officially an adult now.</p>
<p>Don’t join the military or ROTC unless you actually WANT to be in the military.</p>
<p>There are two extreme options here, and several options somewhere in the middle. Several people are advocating one or the other extreme, when both could lead to further “adult” consequences.</p>
<p>One option is to cut all ties with her parents, because they are unwilling to pay. There are significant consequences for doing this, as such a break might be forever. My uncle had a falling out with my grandparents when he was in college - over money, though there were other underlying issues from his childhood. My grandmother disowned him, and I honestly don’t know if she would have even let him back into her life, but he hit back hard, and refused to be involved in her life (and as a result, the rest of the family). I didn’t know my cousin growing up - I met him once as an adult, when he and his mother visited, following her divorce from my uncle (who was not told of the visit). </p>
<p>OP believes she could survive on her own, but she does she really know what that will entail? She grew up in a household where her parents can afford to pay full tuition for her. She probably has never known what it is like to skip the grocery shopping because the rent is due. If she cuts ties now, there will be no safety net, because her parents may see this reaction as yet another form of refusing to accept the consequences of her actions.</p>
<p>She said in her original post that her parents (both) decided not to pay for this fall. A few posts later she indicated that this stems from something that happened in May, but that her MOTHER said she would send her back to school. Where does her father fit into this? Did BOTH agree she could go back in May? Or did her mother promise she would convince her father to let her return? I’m wondering if there was indication back in May that someone thought whatever she did was serous enough to consider a semester off?</p>
<p>Assuming she is a rising Junior, with 2 years to go, she will have about 20 classes to go. If she tries to work, and put herself through school, taking 3-4 courses per semester (because once she makes this decision, it is likely to be permanent), it will still take 6 semesters to finish. That puts her in the same position as taking a year off, but also entails a significant amount of debt, and a ruined relationship with her parents.</p>
<p>Suggesting that she make amends with her parents doesn’t mean anyone is “siding” with her parents. It means we have more life experience, and have a better understanding of the very real consequences of what she is proposing. Her parents have been paying the bills, and have stated that there must be consequences for whatever she did. She now has to choose between the consequences they proposed - a semester or a year off - or live with the concequences of her own choice. Personally, I would choose finishing in 3 years without debt, rather than working my tail off to make end meet, and taking on considerable debt, only to still graduate in 3 years. Even if her degree nets her a high paying job (in this economy, there are not guarantees), she will still be paying off that debt for several years.</p>
<p>I know this is not the advice the OP asked for, but perhaps her best option would be to look for a job or internship in an area related to her major. That at least would be something to help land that better job when she does graduate. I bet accepting her parents’ decision could go a long way in showing that she understands the gravity of what she did in May.</p>
<p>ROTC is one of the most competitive scholarships in the country now. You don’t just “join” and get a scholarship.</p>
<p>I think a key issue here is that the goal of growing up is not just to acquire a college degree. It means learning life’s important lessons. OP, it doesn’t sound as if your parents have disowned you, or that they are refusing all help in the future. It DOES sound as if they want you to take responsibility for whatever it was you did. “Responsibility”, in the adult world, means not whining about consequences. It means saying “okay, I see that I blew it and that you have the right to give whatever consequences you see fit to impose. I will accept this and work hard to earn your trust back.” </p>
<p>Most parents want to help their children succeed. I will assume this about your parents in the absence of evidence to the contrary. So sit down with them and ask them 1) what it would take to earn their trust back, and 2) what they think would be the best use of your time during the semester off. Then seriously consider doing it. You keep saying you’ve changed. I think they need to see evidence of that, which includes standing tall, taking responsibility, and figuring out how to move forward from here. Because you don’t have a co-signer for loans, your alternatives seem to be to either do it their way, go to a less expensive college, or take time off while you become sufficiently financially independent to save for it yourself.</p>
<p>This may turn out to be one of these situations that cause a lot of growth, even though they’re hard.</p>
<p>I don’t know what happened in May, but could it be your parents are maybe less mad and more afraid of having you leave and be out of state, far away? I am in no way saying you did anything like this, but when I was in school I lived next door to a girl that drank so much she got alcohol poisoning, was found passed out near a McDonald’s, and was rushed to the hospital. it took her parents 5 hours to get there and they were petrified the whole time, thinking she was going to die. Her parents said they weren’t paying $40,000 a year for this. She was devastated, and had just gone along with the crowd, it might have been the first time she ever drank, and the whole thing really did teach her a lesson. She adopted the attitude that her parents hated her and said she hated them. Later, she realized they were just really scared at what could have happened to an unconscious girl laying on the side of the road. Even though she really didn’t have an alcohol problem per se, she sat down and told them she would never do this again, was truly sorry, and was just as scared something may have happened. She said I know it’s hard for you to trust me right now or to think I’m not just partying with the money you so graciously have given to me. She made a plan where she would see a therapist every few weeks until the therapist could prove to the
parents she wasn’t an alcoholic and was a responsible person that had learned a lesson. She started with a therapist near home and found one near school when it started. She allowed the parents to call the therapist and the therapist to speak to them freely (for the most part). Her parents agreed on a semester to semester basis. She thought it would be go to the therapist a few times, the parents will get over it and trust me,everything’s fine. Instead, she stayed with her near school therapist the entire school year and they worked on things like peer pressure (why she drank so much that time), test anxiety, and her relationship with her parents. Her parents were really happy, especially that she came up with the
solution on her own, followed through, and graduated on time with an excellent gpa. They now have a good relationship which could have been permanently damaged.</p>
<p>I’m not saying you have to do this, but maybe think of a proactive, constructive way to move past whatever happened. The girl I speak of actually learned to like speaking with the therapist and was able to stay at her school and save important family relationships.</p>
<p>Just two comments. It seems like posters on this thread have overlooked the fact the OPs stepfather told her to get out of the house. </p>
<p>Secondly Jennifer you made a comment that your parents will have continued access to medical and other records. Assuming you are over 18 this is false. You do not have to share this information and the school cannot share it without your permission.</p>
<p>What Jennifer actually said was</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>For all we know this is a condition that the parents have set up in order for her to have their continued financial support. </p>
<p>Remember her parents are paying for everything; cost of going to school pocket money, med insurance, etc. It is their right to put conditions on their support especially when they are full paying for everything. If she was academically messing up, got caught under-aged drinking, got arrested or did something that demonstrated extremely bad judgement I could understand that parents may want to pull their financial support.</p>
<p>We really do not know what went down between Jennifer her parents other than she messed up bad, and she said herself that her biggest regret was that she got caught. Somewhere along the line it seems that she may have violated their trust. Why we may or may not agree with what her parents are doing, there are 2 things that we cannot do; we can’t tell other people how to raise their kids and we can’t tell other people how to spend their money.</p>
<p>snowdog, it’s none of our business of course, but it also sounds as if she may have left rather than being kicked out, because she didn’t like the rules/restrictions that were being imposed. As in “abide by our rules or leave.”</p>
<p>Is it possible to go to a community college / local university afterward? That is what my dad did because my grandparents wouldn’t pay for anything but let him stay home and work a job for tuition … That cuts living expenses and other costs greatly.</p>
<p>Th OP could be one of several students I personally know, who have found themselves in similar situations. Whatever happened in May, the key statement here is that the OP regrets getting caught. It also stands out to me that she wants what she wants, and she wants it right now. I would be reluctant to invest my money in my child who mostly regrets getting caught, and who is having a bit of a hissy fit about her need to return to an expensive out of state school for the reasons she has stated on this thread. Forgive me if I missed it, but I haven’t read here that the OP feels that her particular major there isn’t available elsewhere, or that a particular program there is the best in the country, or that a particular professor has offered a research opportunity… The OP’s reasons for returning are reasons based on “I want”. </p>
<p>I’d suggest that, unless the OP is willing to apologize honestly for whatever she did, and find a way to work out a long term solution with her parents to get everyone to a place of trust, (which is going to take awhile, so plan on not returning to the out of state college this semester) she might want to look at the nearest tech school or community college that offers the quickest way towards a certificate or degree in something that will pay well. For example, my local CC offers a course in ultrasound technology. The loans the OP would need to take out would be small. It is an intense, but fast certification program, and ultrasound techs make really good money. Area hospitals and clinics can’t find enough techs to fill the positions. And THEN, when you are able to support yourself with a job, put yourself through college. Probably part time, probably will take awhile, but it is doable.</p>
<p>Either way, your solution requires a lot of growing up and accepting responsiblity now.</p>
<p>And the parents could also be unreasonable and have other reasons for not wanting to continue to pay too. Like they may be running short on funds or tight and OP made it easy for them to cut a major line item from the budget. We don’t know, and as Sybbie says, even if we did, it’s not for anyone to tell someone how to spend their money and raise the kids. The parents are not posting here asking for our opinions. Their mandate are the given in this situation, though it is possible they will relent. I’ve known many who have after such ultimatums. But OP cannot depend on that and has to make plans.</p>
<p>I told my son, he was cut loose after a series of shenanigans that clearly showed that he had other priorities in his life other than college and was just using that as a pasttime to get living expenses from us. It was too late at that time to get my semester payment back, or he would have been sitting out for at least a year, probably two, and in retrospect, it might have been the best thing for him at that time. Though he managed to buck up and and toe the line for the rest of that term so that DH wanted to pay for the next and go term by term, when I say “toe the line”, there was about that much of a commitment and margin he had, a toe’s worth. He’s at the age NOW where he could maybe appreciate college.</p>
<p>Just remembered this:</p>
<p>We have friends whose son had a spectaularly awful first year at college. Terrible grades the first semester, went back with promises to do better the second semester. Second semester wasn’t much better. The solution they finally agreed to worked. The son needed to live at home and work until he earned enough for a semester of college tuition, room and board. The money went into a particular account. When he had earned enough for a semester he reenrolled, with his parents paying for the tuition room and board. The deal was that if he made decent grades, they would continue to pay. If he didn’t the account money would be paid to the parents, and he’d have to earn another semester’s tuition room and board before he could return. </p>
<p>The son had to work hard and long for the money before he earned enough to return. It gave him a better sense of respect for the cost of college, and his grades were excellent, since he didn’t want to lose the money he had earned. </p>
<p>When he graduated from college, the parents turned over the account money to the kid.</p>
<p>the OP hasn’t been back for several pages. I’m guessing it’s because she came to get a solution to pay for her OOS schooling this fall and didn’t get one. She’s likely unhappy/angry that we’ve “done the math” and have shown her that even if she went to school part time as she has said, she couldn’t net the $1600+ per month to make the monthly installments on tuition WHILE also paying room, board, books, etc. She also needs transportation TO her OOS school.</p>
<p>Because of the friendships/social life that she has at her OOS school, she won’t consider going elsewhere. </p>
<p>when college kids get into these situations, lots of college costs due soon with no means to pay, they can get quite fanciful imagining that they’ll magically get some full time job or big loan that will pay the costs. </p>
<p>And her current plan of going part-time will just extend her educational years by at least 2-3 additional years. Assuming that she’s a rising soph or jr, that means that she would have about 4-5 more college years. What’s the likelihood of her being able to consistently earn/pay for a private school by herself for that long? Very unlikely. </p>
<p>Contrast that with commuting to her local CC (if she’s a soph) or state school. She could work and go to school part time. </p>
<p>Often they end up enrolling anyway, not being able to pay, and then owing the school lots of money. then they can’t transfer elsewhere because they can’t get their transcript released. </p>
<p>There must be more to this story than what we’ve been told. Her mom was willing to let her return to school after the offense. But, now the mom is so angry that she won’t even give info for FAFSA. And, of course, there’s a stepdad in the picture who may have a greater “say” if he’s the major breadwinner in the family. </p>
<p>If the student’s bio dad is still alive, maybe she can move in with him and commute to the local CC. </p>
<p>There just isn’t a scenario that will allow the OP to go to her former school right now. </p>
<p>BTW…with the timing of her big offense occuring in May, I suspect that either her parents were unhappy with her academic performance or when she came home after finals, there was something in her stuff that ****ed them off.</p>
<p>Maybe. Or maybe they did a slow burn and felt more punishment should be dealt. </p>
<p>The default position on CC is to assume the parents are perfectly reasonable and the student is an entitled brat - but none of us knows whether that is true. The OP says her thinking has evolved since she was caught in her transgression, so that’s a good thing.</p>
<p>As a parent of a young woman who has made me cry real tears of both pride and frustration, it is difficult for me to imagine dropping the information that I expect her to drop out several months after a transgression and a few weeks before class starts. I would not consider that effective parenting. But that’s me.</p>
<p>@Snowdog, I hear you and maybe the parents are not the most consistent or effective. Or maybe something else has happened in the interim that caused the mother to withdraw her promise. Since the OP seems to have dropped out of sight we’ll probably never know.</p>
<p>@eastcoascrazy - thanks for sharing that story. What a brilliant idea!</p>
<p>Well unless they require you to disclose your educational information, they would not have any access to your grades, transcripts, whatever else under FERPA.</p>
<p>Either way it looks like you are in a tough situation. I would recommend sucking up to them and reconciling in any way (I know that it affects your pride but thats not important right now) to see if they will come around and pay for your school again or at least give you the information you require to be on your own. Even if you did get a federal loan, it will not be enough to cover your full tuition.
If that fails, I recommend calling your school and asking what your options for in terms of scholarships, taking a gap year, work study, etc. </p>
<p>I think the realization you may have to make is that you need to move out, get on your own and work on your own, and then file taxes next year as independent and stop your parents from carrying you and then reapply your FAFSA the following year with your new independent income. But beware, working on your own and going to school will be extremely difficult and you will definitely not be making enough to pay for school out of pocket. Even buying books will be a struggle.</p>
<p>And as a side note, try to see if there are any banks that don’t require a co-signer for student loans.</p>